How to you get Dan Rather in a room together with Brian Williams and Tom Brokaw? Throw a charity event, of course. ABC News' Bob Woodruff and wife Lee hosted their foundation's second annual Stand Up For Heroes event last night at Town Hall, benefiting injured war veterans, where CNN's Christiane Amanpour walked away from the auction with Bruce Springsteen's guitar, which she paid $50,000 for. (Springsteen's motorcycle went for $75,000.) And while host Regis Philbin's jokes fell flat (think: "I sneezed and blew her into the second row"), the incomparable Springsteen — who normally plays only for president-elects — more than made up for it, telling jokes between songs. Of the X-rated variety.

Allow us to butcher Springsteen's joke:

A woman was being kept awake at night by her dog's snoring, so she went to her veterinarian, who instructed her to tie a ribbon around her dog's penis. Dumbfounded, the woman went home incredulous, but when her dog began snoring that night, she conceded. The woman found a string of red ribbon, tied around her dog's penis, and the snoring stopped. But later that night, she awoke to her husband's snoring. Thinking the same trick would work, she found some blue ribbon, and tied it around her husband's penis. As luck would have it, his snoring stopped too, and the wife went back to sleep. When morning came, the husband awoke and looked down at himself, seeing the blue ribbon tied around his manhood. He looked at the dog and said, "I don't know where we were last night Fido, but we came in first and second place!"

[Photo: AP]