Heather and Amber Langely are the Porcelain Twinz, identically raunchy sisters who up until recently worked shows at The Box, Simon Hammerstein's burlesque/strip/bottle service nightspot.

The duo made a name for the club with their Tim Burton goth dungeon shtick, but were recently ousted by Hammerstein (who they were also living with) due to some accusations of sexual harassment and MySpace shenanigans, which is the cause of every blowout these days.

So how do the girls remain upbeat with no home and no income to speak of? By taking life advice from Oprah!

They both light up, and Amber eagerly responds, “Have you ever watched The Secret?” I have yet to see The Secret, but already, I sense there’s more to their story than risqué burlesque acts at a haughty nightclub. “It changed our lives, we lost weight, our outlook on life altered, and it’s helped us to remain positive.”

While it's certainly admirable that the girls are into a book that promotes positive thinking as a means to getting what you want out of life, it sort of makes you wish for the Michael Alig days when the only "life order" you'd be making around girls like these would be the phone call to your Ecstasy dealer. Stay positive!