On this muggy, seemingly endless summer day, Intern Wendy reminds us that our pundits still have plenty to pontificate about. From the new Vegas fashion trends to the illicit broadcast journalism fantasies to Paris Hilton's career ambitions, there's plenty to (momentarily) distract you from the fact that your air conditioning's broken, your ice coffee melted hours ago and you've still got nearly three hours to go. Starting…now.

• "The cocktail waitresses at the Venetian wear burkas." John Ridley, explaining why he won't be hitting up The Strip anytime soon, Morning Joe, June 22

• "Who in his or her right mind could turn down a million bucks to sit down with Meredith Viera?" Neil Cavuto, wishing the Today host would make him an indecent proposal, Your World, June 22

• "Oh yes, she‘ll be a regular Slutty Spice." Michael Musto, revealing Paris Hilton’s post-prison career trajectory, Countdown, June 22

• "Doocy hasn’t really been arrested. We just wish that he had." Bill O’Reilly, wishing Steve Doocy was inheriting Paris Hilton’s former jail cell, The O’Reilly Factor, June 25