"I've always believed in the power of prayer," writes the ever-hopeful Intern Wendy. "So when I prayed for material for Friday's column, the Lord blessed me with more material than I can put in one column! Between Nancy Grace's parenting hints, Dan Abrams' dirty talk, and Tucker Carlson's inability to sin, I'm going to be putting a $50 in the collection plate on Sunday, instead of the usual five bucks."

Amen to that.

• "Tucker, you will be relieved to know that Lindsay has been returned to captivity after an unsuccessful attempt to reintroduce her into the wild." Willie Geist, putting Lindsay Lohan on the endangered species list, Tucker, August 6

• "It is hard to sin in Utah. I have tried." Tucker Carlson, on why his latest vacation sucked, Tucker, August 6

• "I think the lesson here is, if you don‘t get a response to, “Do you like that, Daddy?” you know there‘s trouble." Dan Abrams, giving advice to hookers everywhere, MSNBC Live, August 6

• "Of course I read it! I do my legal research." Nancy Grace, explaining to Ken Baker why she reads US Weekly, Nancy Grace, August 7

• "Don't you watch the NANCY GRACE show, for Pete`s sake? You`ve got to be a stripper in a thong, shooting up heroin, lying on the courthouse steps before you get—oh, well, Hi, Mom. Is that you on the pole, doing a pole dance?" Nancy Grace, setting the bar for parenting her unborn twins, Nancy Grace, August 7

• "Nipples. Say it, Keith. Nipples." Joel McHale, urging Keith Olbermann to say the other “N” word, Countdown, August 8