"I screwed up the password for today's column," Intern Wendy apologized earlier today.

"My excuse?" she continued (ignoring the more obvious question of why in the hell CQ has a password in the first place). "I'm suffering from Post Glenn Beck Syndrome. The only thing scarier: Larry King's Star Jones interview."

Truer—and more confusing—words were never spoken.

• "I want to see if you have any legs or anything. Are you confined to a bed? Or do you—I mean, I'm just wondering. Pull back, please. I'm just wondering, do you have a life? Do you go out and do anything?” Glenn Beck, describing the average viewer of his show, Glenn Beck, August 16

• "Too much hair. Too much makeup. Too much jewelry." Star Jones, on what she and hubby Al Reynolds have in common, Larry King Live, August 17

• "You were a baby?" Larry King, struggling to imagine Star Jones being little without the aid of gastric bypass, Larry King Live, August 17

• "I mean, we have it in a Petri dish. What do we do, just poke it with a stick for a while to see if it grows teeth?" Glenn Beck, auditioning to be the next "Mr. Wizard," Glenn Beck, August 20