We like simplicity. In fact, once or twice in (overheard) conversation we've even heard ourselves politely referred to as being "on the simple side." So naturally, we were pleased when Intern Wendy told us that the Friday edition of Cable Quotables would be relatively uncomplicated. "Today's column has a simple theme," she confesses. "Anderson Cooper goes nuts." Short, pithy, succinct. What better way to describe a completely heterosexual silver haired gent with pale skin, forearm envy and a firm grasp of the nuclear arms race?

• "Sex, lies and audiotape. Who says politics is boring?” Anderson Cooper, on what he loves most about election year, Anderson Cooper 360, September 5

• "That’s one of those things where it’s like, 'D’oh! The nukes are missing. Yikes!'" Anderson Cooper, wishing Homer Simpson were in charge, Anderson Cooper 360, September 5

• "Large is the new small, though. No, it’s the other way around. Small is the new large. I don’t know." Anderson Cooper, wondering how he measures up, Anderson Cooper 360, September 6

• "The guy has forearms bigger than, like, I don’t know, my thighs." Anderson Cooper, contemplating calf implants, Anderson Cooper 360, September 6

• "That’s right, you need a permit for this gun right here." Anderson Cooper, feeling macho after crushing a soda can, Anderson Cooper 360, September 6