Happy Friday, everyone. Well, Halloween is just around the corner, so it's only fitting that Intern Wendy described today's Cable Quotables theme as "things that care the living crap outta ya." Examples, say Wendy, include "Nancy Grace stripping; Tucker Carlson being horny; Dan Abrams thinking about size." Yep, "Little Shop of Horrors" almost seems like an understatement.

• “So how important is the size? Evander‘s looks bigger.” Dan Abrams, wondering what else is big about Evander Holyfield besides his grill, MSNBC Live, October 4

• “Every time we start the theme music to our show, 8:00 o'clock sharp Eastern, they start a sock hop in my tummy. Every single night. They love that music. I'm going to play it for them when they finally get here.” Nancy Grace, proving once again that her show caters towards those with only partial brain functionality, Nancy Grace, October 4

• “Is that the new video of her dancing around that stripper pole? I could do that. Wait a minute, where's all the dance steps? I can do that, for Pete's sake.” Nancy Grace, reminding us that Britney Spears pole-dancing is only the second-worst case scenario, Nancy Grace, October 5

• “Let me put it this way, I have four children. Is that the profile of someone who spent his early years playing with the Rubik‘s Cube? No.” Tucker Carlson, on his idea of a sex toy, Tucker, October 5

• “But I did turn a mood ring black against all odds. What can I tell you? I was an unhappy kid.” Bill Wolff, the Eeyore of MSNBC, Tucker, October 5