In this all-Paris edition of Cable Quotables, Intern Wendy turns to the television to find out what everyone who's anyone (or at least Nancy Grace) was saying about Paris in the moments leading up to her incarceration. And as an extra special bonus, Wendy's even throwing in this brand-new Paris Hilton game ("The Prison Life: PARIS") to wake you up from that post-lunch food coma. Enjoy!

• "Paris Hilton locked in a jail cell with another woman for 23 days? Sometimes soft porn just writes itself." Willie Geist, the (pervy) eternal optimist, Scarborough Country, May 31

• "So it brings up a tough choice. Do you compromise your $18,000 a year jail [salary], or take a million dollars from Us Weekly for your picture?" Willie Geist, mulling over incarcerated Paris' various options, Tucker, June 1

• "That's like the Zapruder film." Tucker Carlson, putting Paris Hilton's last pre-prison interview into proper historical perspective, Tucker Live, June 4

• "I never actually thought of Paris Hilton as a pimp." Nancy Grace, preferring to picture Paris a lady of the night, Nancy Grace, June 4.