"I didn't need to know that Joe Scarborough causes rashes," writes Correspondent Wendy. "Or that Alan Colmes has some sick Santa fantasy going on and Keith Olbermann's privates should stay that way." Needless to say, today's theme? Too much information. And, as Wendy puts it, "If I don't need a lifetime of therapy after putting this together, it'll be a miracle."

• "I don’t know a damned thing about this, and I’m glad." Joe Scarborough, proving ignorance is bliss (or at least hefty a paycheck!) Morning Joe, November 29

• "I speak now for confused males everywhere. Who seek only your happiness. And none of your wrath. Help us. Help you. Gift certificates. Yes or no?" Neil Cavuto, asking what women really want, Your World, November 29

• "You know, Santa’s supposed to [be fat] but he’ll get down a lot more chimneys if he’s thinner. Right? I mean, I would think that there’s some — he’s got to get into some tight areas.” Alan Colmes, longing to hook Santa up with Richard Simmons, Hannity and Colmes, November 30

• “Is Santa going to eat vegetables on Christmas Eve?” Alan Colmes, making excuses for preemptively swiping the jolly fat man's cookies, Hannity and Colmes, November 30

“One more thing. Keith Olbermann's penis is really, really tiny. Just saying.” Keith Olbermann, beating his bitter ex-girlfriends' to the punch, Countdown, November 30

• "I need a raise. I think I’m getting hives.” Mika Brzezinski, confirming that working with Joe Scarborough can cause physically discomfort, Morning Joe, December 3