We've never even met Correspondent Wendy, but we already have so much in common. For one, figuring out what to write about this week was harder than feigning interest in Anderson Cooper's Sesame Street cameo.

• “Oscar the Grouch came—was another suggestion. Could be a conflict of interests, though. Some of you know I have spent time in Oscar’s can. So that may be a little too close to home.” Anderson Cooper, explaining why James Earl Jones is still the voice of CNN, Anderson Cooper 360, December 20

• “As a Jeopardy champion, I know for a fact that, like such as, that most U.S. Americans in Iraq and the nation of America, such as like do have maps, including one of our beloved countries such as, like, U.S. America.” Anderson Cooper, auditioning for Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader, Anderson Cooper 360, December 20

• “There were these cutbacks at the network this year. Christmas hats somehow got — we‘re waiting for shipping in China.” Tucker Carlson, bemoaning the latest impact of NBC 2.0, Tucker, December 21

“If you‘re sober and they‘re drunk, “You‘re like what the heck are you talking about?” But if you‘re drunk, you‘re like, “Man, that‘s deep. That‘s really deep.” Chuck Nice, sharing the only way to get through an interview with Dan Abrams, MSNBC Live, December 21

• “And just to wrap it up, when you say the war on terror is like herpes, does that mean we’re never going to cure it?” Alan Colmes, impressed that Trace Adkins made a connection between STDs and WMDs, Hannity and Colmes, December 26