Correspondent Wendy rounds up the best comments made on cable news in recent days.

• “When I get a gig on the Food Network, on the Souffle Show, I‘m having you on to whip something up in the kitchen with me.” —Tucker Carlson, proving that being canned by MSNBC ain’t so bad, Tucker, March 13

• “I think the inevitable TV movie called Screws Her, Pays Her, Spits Her, aka Love Potion Number Nine with Stanley Tucci and Rita Wilson and Ashley Olson as the cocktail waitress who serves herself as the special of the day.” —Michael Musto, predicting the future biopic of Ashley Dupre, Countdown, March 13

• “Quite frankly, the shrink said, “The best thing you can do is get O’Reilly out of your life.’” —Dennis Miller, explaining why he’s screwed up, The O’Reilly Factor, March 12

• “You know who I would love to write a book? Sanjaya!” —Joe Scarborough, dreaming of the ultimate celebrity memoir, Morning Joe, March 14

• “We’ll be celebrating here in New York City as we do every year — cowering in our locked apartments wondering when the scary drunk men in skirts will go away.” —Willie Geist, sharing his St. Patrick’s Day ritual, Morning Joe, March 17

• “I’ve learned so many troubling things about you in 45 seconds.” —Soledad O’Brien, learning that Erica Hill isn’t as sweet as she seems, Anderson Cooper 360, March 17