• “You need to call in tears.” —Mika Brzezinski, giving Naomi Campbell tips on getting lost luggage back, Morning Joe, April 4

• “Do I still have a job?” —Erica Hill, wondering if playing Anderson Cooper’s workout tape got her fired, Anderson Cooper 360, April 4

• “Oh, I want to assault those guys at the airport. I have been taking off my shoes for five years. Let me ask you a question. What woman is going to blow up her shoes?” —Elaine Boosler, planning Naomi Campbell’s defense, Verdict, April 4

• “Willie Brown, who do you think he‘d endorse?” —Dan Abrams, wondering if the “pregnamt man” will help Hillary Clinton, Verdict, April 4

• “You don’t hate the mosquito. You just want it out of you face.” —Simon Cowell, explaining why he bitchslaps Ryan Seacrest, Larry King Live, April 7