• “Is it plausible that a man who smiles so seldom, Dana, would really draw pleasure simply from the act of painfully capturing and killing harmless, helpless animals?” —Keith Olbermann, revealing Dick Cheney’s kinky side, Countdown, April 11

• “She’s just a regular ol’ gal who lived in the White House for eight years and is worth $100 million.” —Willie Geist, explaining that Hillary Clinton is just plain ol’ folks, Morning Joe, April 14

• “He is defending himself by explaining that‘s just an image of him holding his rod.” —Keith Olbermann, offering Dick Cheney’s excuse for the reflection of a naked woman in his sunglasses, Countdown, April 11

• “Also they could get help from Martians. The Martians and al Qaeda hooked up, that would be a bad day at the beach, if you catch my drift. Those who are tardy do not get a fruit cup.” —Keith Olbermann, making the connection between terrorists and aliens, Countdown, April 11

• “They were singing “Walking Around in Women’s Underwear” to the tune of “Walking in the Winter Wonderland.” OK, no one messes with “Walking in the Winter Wonderland,” OK?” —Laura Ingraham, on what really offends her at Christmas parties, The O’Reilly Factor, April 11

• “Now the Yankees — just a bunch of upstart kids with big hearts who love the game, they’d play it for free if they could.” —Willie Geist, waxing sentimental about America’s Team, Morning Joe, April 14