Correspondent Wendy rounds up the best comments made on cable news in recent days.

• “But I want to ask you, Bill, if you’re ever eulogizing me, and I assume you will one day, since I’ve somehow become Sancho Panza to your Don Quixote, I want you to stay on me for a few seconds during the eulogy before you start hocking “Factor” gear, OK?” —Dennis Miller, predicting that friendship with Bill O’Reilly will eventually kill him, The O’Reilly Factor, April 16

• “I don‘t know a lot about cooking. I didn‘t mean I don‘t know a lot about cooking. I meant, I never took a quiz about cooking.” —Keith Olbermann, on why he’ll never host a morning show, Countdown, April 16

• “He’s a world record holder! What have YOU ever done!?!” —Willie Geist, defending the kid who blows balloons up with his nose, Morning Joe, April 16

• “So this, John, as you can imagine, is a gift that I will always cherish, always have. I can assure you, you’re never going to see it on eBay or anything like that.” —Wolf Blitzer, who won’t be selling his Papal swag, The Situation Room, April 17

• “I‘m very moved. The first time I didn‘t feel it, but this time I feel it and I can‘t deny the fact that you don‘t like me. Right now, you don‘t like me.” —Keith Olbermann, feeling the hate from Dick Cheney, Countdown, April 17

• “You don‘t have to sex up these Democratic debates. They sex themselves up.” —Keith Olbermann, feeling the hotness that is Charlie Gibson, Countdown, April 17

• “You care about people and I watched you in the fires and I‘m looking at your eyes, and I know you can act, but still, that was authentic. I see nothing but empathy and sympathy and for other people. You‘re the hottest star in Hollywood.” Brian Kilmeade, mancrushing on Arnold Schwarzenegger, Fox and Friends, April 18