It's time for the Friday edition of Cable Quotables, and this time, Intern Wendy has searched high and low to find out what Bill O'Reilly really thinks of the naked human body, and the extent of Tucker Carlson's superficiality. Here's to wishing all of you—even you, Nancy Grace—an absolutely wonderful weekend.

• “Now is it true that people who speak loud and fast with the most passion are the smartest?” Chris Matthews, wishing he lived in an alternate reality, Hardball, February 9

• “Beginning March 4, the Fit World Gym in the town of Heteren will allow customers to work out naked. Now, that could be hazardous, especially when weight lifting or even jogging, for some people.” Bill O’Reilly, already buying his plane ticket to Heteren, The O’Reilly Factor, February 9

• “First, a viewer warning, what I am about to report is very vile and some people will be upset. So you might want to click off and come back in three minutes.” Bill O’Reilly, admitting his show may induce nausea, The O’Reilly Factor, February 12

• “Larry, I try to get out once in a while as well.” John Roberts, pissed that Anderson Cooper gets to go to all the war zones while he stays home, Larry King Live, February 12

• “We‘re shallow people here in the media. Now, we are actually more shallow even than people know. We are shallow, there‘s no doubt about it.” Tucker Carlson, at one with his shallowness, Tucker, February 12