This weeks Cable Quotables, courtesy of Intern Wendy, are hilarious. The Dancing With the Stars issues are heating up and Rosie O'Donnell's pubic hair is not amusing anyone. Well, except Barbara Walters.

• “I mean, it’s like I told somebody the other day, I said, it’s like me getting killed by a poodle, you know?” — Jack Hanna, on the real deadly beasts, On the Record, September 5

• “Rosie O‘Donnell taken naked baths with her kids, talking about “her fur.” This violates what we in the news business refer to as the breakfast rule. Anything you put on television or in a newspaper that will spoil someone‘s breakfast is verboten, not allowed, can‘t do it.” — Tucker Carlson, endorsing the "watch Rosie"l diet plan, Tucker, September 5

• “He must be taken down, Tucker.” Willie Geist, warning Tucker Carlson about dancing demon Mario Lopez, Tucker, September 5

• “Well, sir, I can only hope it includes memorabilia and porn movies.” — Nancy Grace, with ideas on how O.J. Simpson can make money, Nancy Grace, September 5

• “So, what is that we’re looking at? What is the curly part and what is—the straight part is the—the sting…” Anderson Cooper, getting his "straight parts" all lined up, Anderson Cooper 360, September 5

• “I had to pay to get a cup of coffee in the judge`s chambers. They have a little styrofoam cup. And if you wanted a cup of coffee, you darn well better pay, OK? And it was bad coffee, too.” Nancy Grace, inadvertently pimping for Starbucks, Nancy Grace, September 6

• “When I was in college I majored in throwing up in my sleep.” — Glenn Beck, on why higher education is worth it, Glenn Beck, September 6