Today may be the funniest Cable Quotables round-up we've had in a while. Glenn Back creaming himself over cookies, Rita Cosby's guests attacking her for once, and Nancy Grace with more "take your pants off" talk. Intern Wendy must have had a fun week. Grab a glass of milk, and get ready to pop these quotes in your mouth. You know they just scream "read me, read me!"

• “Glenn, Glenn? I am so tasty, thick layer of yummy fudge, two delicious cookies. Sure, it looks like you`re biting the head off a cute little midget that lives in a tree, but it`s OK. I don`t feel pain. Buy me, Glenn. Buy me!” —Glenn Beck, dirty talking with the Keebler elf, Glenn Beck, August 8

• “I also demanded and I got Anderson Cooper‘s manicurist. We also got his dermatology technician to apply my bi-daily facials. And last but not least, John Gibson‘s personal hairstylist.” —Joe Scarborough, not such an average Joe at heart, Scarborough Country, August 8

• “Are you on crack?” —Shannon Tweed, analyzing Rita Cosby’s interviewing skills, Scarborough Country, August 9

• “Now, when Rosie (Nancy Grace’s producer) shows up at work with an AR-15, it will be wrong, but I don‘t think anybody will be surprised.” —Tucker Carlson, predicting that Nancy Grace will be a corpse on her own show, Tucker, August 9

• “I'm going to make a confession. I don't think I'm nuts. That's exactly what people think when they're nuts. People who are nuts never think they're nuts, which to me is proof positive I'm not insane.” —Glenn Beck, proving he’s crazy, Glenn Beck, August 9

• “Did he have on pants?” —Nancy Grace, praying for a naked ass corpse, Nancy Grace, August 10