This week, Glenn Beck give us pointer on losing those last 10 pounds, Anderson Cooper teaches Italian, Dan Abrams bids farewell, and Keith Olbermann literally says "blah, blah, blah." Or, that's just what Intern Wendy heard because when he talks everyone feels like a member of Charlie Brown's gang.

Our cable newscasters may not bring you anything you want to know, need to know, or care about at all, but they sure do make it easy to laugh on a Friday afternoon.

• "It rained earlier this morning when the president was here. The sun has now come out." —Anderson Cooper, Anderson Cooper 360, June 16

• "You know, you don't have to be a backup dancer to know that, you know, the whole freeloading concept worked very well in Beverly Hills, but when you're in a tent in the jungle, not so good, right?" —Brian Unger, revealing why Kevin Federline won't go to Namibia, Countdown, June 16

• "Haven't decided yet what's going to replace it, but hopefully it will be a more interesting, more compelling program that even more people will watch." —Dan Abrams, happily cancelling his own show, The Abrams Report, June 16

• "Ciao. Grazie. Grazie. That's what I feel like you should say when you're riding a Vespa." —Anderson Cooper, explaining scooter etiquette to Erica Hill, Anderson Cooper 360, June 21

• "So our No. 2 story in the Countdown, the new "American Idol" spin-off, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah…premieres on NBC, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Simon Cowell, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, David Hasselhoff crying, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Maria Menounos, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!" —Keith Olbermann, summarizing "America's Got Talent," Countdown, June 21

• "Coming up on The Situation, there is nothing cuter than a baby who looks like a pimp, is there?" —Tucker Carlson, no doubt visualizing K-Fed as a baby, The Situation, June 21

• "First, you send me a picture of yourself wearing something, shall we say, really revealing, in a humiliating position. If you don`t hit your target weight, I show your picture on national television just like that. Then I`m going to e-mail the pictures to my list of over 100,000 subscribers on my e-mail. Then I put them on my web site. Then I publish them in my national magazine." —Glenn Beck, detailing his public humiliation diet plan, Glenn Beck, June 22

• "If I actually have a piano playing it really throws me off, because it's in tune." —Connie "it was a joke" Chung, Countdown, June 22