Intern Wendy totally hearts her non-paid internship. And why not? Can you think of a better way to spend your time than listening to Larry King wax on about his knowledge of film or taking in the invaluable proverbs of Nancy Grace as she talks about how killers killed spring break?

We couldn't if we tried. Wendy's got this week's top quotes for your laughing pleasure — it's ok, go ahead, make fun of your primetime newscasters. Just tell the guy in the cubicle next to you that you're drunk.

• "So this Frist thing here is kissing your sister." —Chris Matthews, Hardball, March 10

• "A dictatorship, D-I-C-T-A-T-O-R-ship?" —Showing he can spell as well as count, —Keith Olbermann, Countdown, March 10

• "A head is going to run between $550 to $900. One hand on the market here is worth $350 to $850. Each leg costs between $700 and $1,000. And each foot runs anywhere from $200 to $400." —Rita Cosby, Live and Direct, March 13

• "I've got a cat on my head." — Tucker Carlson, The Situation March 14

• "Hey, get over it and just eat a slab of ribs in dreamland." Having no empathy for manorexia, Joe Scarborough, Scarborough Country, March 14

• "What's wrong for you is not wrong for your neighbor if he or she doesn't think his or her actions are wrong." Explaining why he's always right, Bill O'Reilly, The O'Reilly Factor, March 15

• "There's nothing to kill a spring break tourism season like announcing you've got a serial killer killing women." — Nancy Grace, Nancy Grace, March 16

• "Stock up on tuna and powdered milk." Sharing his anti-bird flu diet plan, Wolf Blitzer, The Situation Room, March 16

• "Well, I think I saw him today in the makeup department of Duane Reade." —Nancy Grace revealing the latest Michael Jackson sighting, Nancy Grace, March 16

• Uncle Buck is one of the funniest movies ever made." —Larry King, Proving he prepped for his interview with Macauley Culkin, Larry King Live, March 16