Today's edition of Cable Quotables isn't so much about pulling from a variety of programs and topics as it is about pulling Paris Hilton mentions from MSNBC. It's not that Intern Wendy went looking for them — they're just there. Lots of them.
• "Paris Hilton claims she was punched in the face yesterday morning at a nightclub in Hollywood. 'Course she's had worse things happen to her face." —Keith Olbermann, who knows a thing or two about having naughty bits in your face, Countdown, October 9
• "You can‘t put two Jurassic Parks so close to each other. You got to space them out." —David Hans Schmidt, explaining the intricacies of marketing celebrity sex tapes, Scarborough Country, October 11
Sex tapes, third world babies, and more Paris, after the jump.
• "He makes fermented horse urine sound good." —Tucker Carlson, feeling the love for "Borat" Sacha Baron Cohen, Tucker, October 10
• "They`re going to take me to the CNN woodshed and spank my bottom." —Glenn Beck, hoping to get spanked by Nancy Grace, Glenn Beck, October 11
• "Republicans needed this Mark Foley scandal like Paris Hilton needed another case of herpes." —Joe Scarborough, who knows exactly what STDs Paris Hilton has, Scarborough Country, October 9
• "You know, they take this baby and they rescue him from third world Cambodia. This kid probably thought he hit the jackpot when he got adopted by this movie star and just to find out that they were going to take him back to every other third-world country in the universe." —Chelsea Handler, on why it sucks to be Maddox Jolie Pitt, Scarborough Country, October 11
• "I think you‘ve come a long way from milking the cows." —Rita Cosby, dazzled by porn king David Hans Schmidt, Scarborough Country, October 11
Editorial Director
Porn, ok. But is it ok to commit adultery? Why be snarky with Sara Evans? She's the victim. He's politician… I believe her claims.
Twistys Presents: Zdenka
Buyers of guns must take gun-safety courses
Women are not, are fairly portrayed in the media
Rural development is the main cause of wildfires
I can't be bothered with anything these days. Basically not much noteworthy happening. I feel like an empty room. I've more or less been doing nothing.
More or less nothing seems worth thinking about. Not much on my mind today. Today was a total loss. My mind is like a bunch of nothing, but maybe tomorrow. So it goes. I just don't have much to say recently, but whatever.