Okay, we know that the Backstreet Boys originally had five members and that they were once insanely popular. But when we look at this picture of the boy-man band with only four boy-men, we have no idea who is missing. That, along with their most recent video, doesn't make this reunion seem that promising.
[Photo Credit: WireImage]
Apparently, former boy banders who currently have protruding bellies, no job prospects, and overly high opinions of themselves are still awfully picky when it comes to choosing a mate. Take, for instance, Nick Carter, who flatly nixed the possibility of reuniting with former flame Paris Hilton. His reasoning? She isn't "intelligent" enough.
At the risk of inviting ridicule, we beg to disagree. Knock Paris all you like, but she's impressively managed to parlay slightly above average looks, zero talent and a famous last name into boldface status, independent wealth and a burgeoning career as, well, someone who gets paid a small fortune to show up at parties long enough to say "That's hot" and have her picture taken.
Meanwhile, everything self-proclaimed intellect Nick Carter has done post-Backstreet Boys can be neatly summed up as follows: failed solo career, failed acting career, failed reality show, failed relationship with Kathy Griffin. Yep, sounds like this boy-genius has it all figured out!
We blame Justin Timberlake’s post boy band success for encouraging this reunion.
• Paris Hilton flashes some nipple on the pages of German GQ, then finds out her precious teddy bear tested positive for Herpes…type two.
• Gays aren't buying rumors that a secretly gay Jake Gyllenhaal has an illegitimate lovechild. When reached for comment, a flaming homosexual replied, "Secretly gay? Puh-leeze. That's wild"
• You’re mom is right, you could lose some weight. New York comes in as the 38th fattest state.
• "Careful, Ashley, stop!" they cried. But it was too late, and Ashely went over the side.
• CNBC anchor Erin Burnett becomes Daily Show fodder. And finds out that the Money Honey hates her. Presumably, because she's hotter.
• The iPhone hacker proves he has lots of brainpower by working 800 hours straight. Not even stopping to shower.
• Backstreet Boys: Are they too cool for school? Or just a bunch of washed-up no-talent fools?
From People: "Jessica Simpson Turns Down 'Porn Star' Role." 'We were promised we would win an Oscar with that,' says father-manager-idiot Joe Simpson. "I was like, 'Eh, we'll just buy a [statue of a] little man and keep our clothes on.'"
• Backstreet's back… again.
• We hear intergalactic travel is so much better when you're wasted.
• We always felt bad for the youngest son on Home Improvement. Twelve years later, we still do.
• O.J. Simpson's maybe, sorta confessional is now available…at a home computer near you.
• ALLLLVIN- Was this not the worst idea ever?
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