Starting today, Thursday July 27, 2006, at 3 pm EST (which is, like, now) Jane magazine's editors will be online, waiting to hear your pitch ideas.

Your dreams of being in Jane could come true … and you won't even need to throw up your tofu to make it into a fashion spread! Is your cat depressed? Did your roommate turn into a lesbian and try to make out with you while you were in the shower? Where you seduced by Jeffrey Epstein? (Wait, actually, if you were, send that story to us, ok?)

Brandon Holley, along with her crew of editors will be signed on and ready to respond to readers with a story idea. We're told that editors "don’t have specific requests," as of yet, "but say an editor is looking for information for a story or a source, she might go to the pitchfest and put out a query." They're looking for stories from all over as part of their whole "getting connected with the readers" thing.

Honestly, we feel like if Brandon gets any closer to her readers, she's going to have to host a 3,000 person slumber party at her apartment. Why are you still reading this? Get your ass over to Jane.com and try to try to get your story published, minus the cheesey cover letter.

Upon browsing the Jane magazine website today, we noticed a little announcement buried between videos of Anne Hathaway and questions for Kevin Connolly. "Dinner with Brandon" the box read, and our intrigue overwhelmed us. The editor in chief of the hottest 20 something magazine invites randoms over for dinner at the Jane office? So cool.

We decided to give Brandon Holley a call to see what this whole "dinner with Brandon" thing was all about. Apparently it has been going on since she started at the mag about a year ago. But she's assured us the event is picking up speed faster than the nautical look. Truthfully we were just thrilled that the EIC was willing to even talk to us. Most of them just hang up.

So, what goes on at these inter office gatherings? How can you get on the guest list? Should you bring your resume and pitch your ideas? We've got the goods on the debonaire dinners, after the jump. Yum!

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Invitations to a screening of The Devil Wears Prada are rumored to have gone out to the executive and editorial assistants of top magazine EIC's. The invites were addressed to "Asst. to Graydon Carter," "Asst. to Ingrid Sischy," so on and so forth.

The stunt, which was pulled together by a PR team at Harrison & Shriftman's, was intended to douse the "finest high powered assistants in town," in Corzo tequila and cover them in Sephora make-up. Sounds fun. But, uh, you'd think that if they were making such a big deal out of this "you're an important person" crap, they would have at least addressed the invitations by name, instead of " to Brandon Holley's bitch."

Like, it took us three minutes to find out the names of Catherine Strawn (Ass't to Brandon Holley), Jon Kelly, Leigh Herzig (Ass'ts to Graydon Carter), Karen Wilson (Ass't to Ingred Sischy), and Wendy Hanson (Ass't to Charla Lawhorn).

Now we know why we've never fucking heard of Corzo tequila.

Peon Homage [Sara James, WWD]

We knew they had an "only the best for Condes" policy over at 4 Times Square. But (call us naive) we had no idea Si Newhouse was actually buying his employees $4 million apartments. More or less. Hey, these folks can't be entertaining the likes of Sarah Jessica Parker and Marc Jacobs in a Brooklyn loft.

As today's Observer reports, the top Conde editors must live in top Manhattan properties. It all began in the 90s, when Uncle Si reportedly picked up the mortgage on Tina Brown's $4 million four bedroom pad on East 57th St. But why stop there?

Over 20 Condé Nast executives, editors and even a couple of writers have either been loaned money directly by the company (sometimes listed as the overarching corporation, Advance Publications) or had the media giant secure mortgages in order to purchase properties, according to city records.

A brief rundown of what exactly it costs Conde Nast to hold on to their socialite editors … and their socialite statuses.

Anna Wintour: Her and her husband took out a $200,000 mortgage on their Greenwich Village townhouse — "with Condé Nast lending the money."

Graydon Carter: Him and his first wife Cynthia bought their four story Bank St. townhouse in 1999. "Shortly thereafter, the couple took out a $3.841 million mortgage, with Advance lending the money.

David Remnick : He signed a contract for a West 86th Street duplex listed at $3.25 million. "Advance secured the loan."

Jim Nelson: After taking over as EIC of GQ, "Nelson moved into a co-op apartment in a Chelsea brownstone, with Advance serving as the secured party."

Oh, and they threw Ariel Foxman a couple thou for his "oversized" one-bedroom spread. We wonder if Si is going to by his favorite Fairstepchild Brandon Holley a downtown crashpad, of if it's only the "real" Conde editors who get houses?

It’s Condo Nast: Newhouse Keeps Editors Housed [Michael Calderone, New York Observer]

At this point, we have a glass of gin (light on the tonic) in hand and are smoking in the apartment. Via the Fishbowler, the news that really is bringing a tear to our already salty ojos:

Elle Girl, headed by Christina Kelly since the departure of she's so Jane Brandon Holley, will say goodbye with their June/July issue.

One source says staffers were alerted earlier today, and that the June/July issue will be its last.

Shocking, too, because, 2005 was a monster year for ElleGirl in terms ad pages and revenue — taking in over $33 million in advertising revenue on 750 ad pages, increases of 77 percent and 46 percent, respectively. And in 2006, the magazine was outpacing 2005's numbers through February.

UPDATE: Women's Wear Daily allows us to remove the question mark.

What the fuck is going on? What are we supposed to read at the gym now? How are we supposed to know what our little sisters are listening to on their iPods or what's cool in pre-teen feminism?

Inside Mischa Barton's home we can live without — but inside her heart? We just don't know if we can make it without that.

Ellegirl To Fold [WWD, Sara James]
Elle Girl to Fold [Fishbowl, NY]

Earlier: Christina Kelly loves your body

The fears have been confirmed: Bradon Holley is moving to shed the sharp-tongued, bitchy, Jane, and turn her into an iPod obsessed Louis Vuitton carrying fashion fiend.

In an attempt to further placate and streamline young women, who apparently are considered only important for their ability to buy belts, give blow-jobs, and plan for Botox, Jane will be turning away "from the tone that helped set [it] apart from the Glamours and Cosmos of the magazine world."

Women's Wear Daily interviews Holley, who points out that the stigma against high fashion is over, (and really, nobody wants to go back to grunge). "A Jane girl can wear Marc Jacobs shoes and still be irreverent." (Jacobs, as it happens, is profiled in the March issue.) Irreverent and funky, however, is as far as the new, sweeter Jane, is going to go.

Holley is also carrying a major ELLEgirl theme over to Jane: rock chicks. "Music and fashion are really intertwined for this woman," Holley said. "Our girl is a lot like her iPod."

We're not sure yet if this is a result of having a more upbeat editorial mission or Conde Nast shunning the heroin shooting, wrist-slashing girls of yesteryear. Even so, an over-saturation of Marc Jacobs stomping iPod addicts in the LES doesn't feel So Jane. It just feels so mainstream.

Two Women's Magazines Shift Focus to 'Millennials' [Julie Bosman]
Not-So-Plain Jane [Jeff Bercovici]

When Jane Pratt left her namesake magazine in August, everybody totally thought, "how's this gonna work?" We weren't to sure there would ever again be hope for our once favorite chick mag.

But, with the help of a few "She's So Jane," ad campaigns featuring Brandon Holley, and a starving Nicole Richie on the cover, 2005's November issue beat single-copy sales of November '04 by 32%.

Holley's December/January issue, featuring Shakira, was up 14 percent over last year's December/January — which happened to be the bestseller of 2004. And a recent cover test of the February issue with Alicia Keys, hitting newsstands Jan. 24, produced the most promising test results Jane has ever received.

Is it possible that Jane is sitting at home with her Women's Wear Daily, going, "ouch?" Creating catchy cover lines and the attempt to steer away from the clique-y, insider-y, tone that was beginning to dominate the indy feel glossy, have apparently paid off.

"A lot of what I'm doing here is going back to the vault," said Holley. "I loved the tight [cover] shots Jane used to do."

The ever humble Ms. Holley credits timing and luck, to Jane's success, but we totally heart her. She is not only so Jane, she's so freakin' fabulous. We bet you could even eat omelets in the elevator when she's around.

Jane's Addiction [Sara James, WWD]

• Jane Pratt's been spotted at Time Inc. meeting with chief Norman Pearlstine, fueling rumors she's ready to put out that 35-and-up magazine she's been chatting about. Meanwhile, Brandon Holley takes a stab at explaining to Jane readers why her name isn't, in fact, Jane.

• Not even Maureen Dowd agrees with the New York Times' fee wall, TimesSelect. While the paper promised its start columnists would offer bonus content for those willing to pay, she's delivered nothing but her twice-weekly column.

• Chatting with Loud Dobbs, Judith Miller says Patrick Fitzgerald's "zealousness" and decision to detain her might be justified if he actually indicts everyone. Meanwhile, Lou is hanging on to his grudge.

• Mediabistro editor Liz Spiers is shopping around her first memoir via ICM but, whether it fetches four or six figures, her tenure at the media social club site sounds limited. At least she could get back at Lauren Weisberger.

• Oh, those pesky right-wing conspiracies and political jihads. Mary Mapes, who was at the center of last year's infamous Memogate scandal with Dan Rather, claims she was the victim of a group of "loosely knit Internet bloggers" who plotted her downfall. Not surprisingly, she's got a new book out in November.

• Those wacky folks at Fox News are now expanding into a gay dating service, at least for Condi Rice. In a truly bizarre interview with the Secretary of State, FNC's James Rosen suggested her hooking up with Lauren Green of Fox and Friends. No word yet on if Bill O'Reilly will make this a "talking points memo."

• Nightline blesses us with Ted Koppel's departure then reprimands us with a live from Times Square proposition? When will the torture end?

• Don't let Fairchild's "She's so Jane" ads fool you: Brandon Holley is no Jane Pratt, and her mass market push for Jane isn't going over well with editors. They're jumping ship like Chris Mitchell.

• Dan Rather is gung ho about reopening President Bush's National Guard story, but CBS News isn't thrilled with the idea for, ahem, obvious reasons.

• The hurricane coverage continues to bolster ratings for the cable news networks, with Fox News remaining in the lead with an average 1.2 million daily viewers. 'Cause you knew Roger Ailes was going to milk death and destruction for every last viewer.

• Anderson Cooper didn't have any luck avoiding the Gulf Coast's harsh weather and he can't avoid trouble on the housing market either. His West 38th Street loft, originally listed at $2.2 million, has dropped to $1.795m in its second price cut.

• Even though the New York Times didn't exactly apologize to Geraldo Rivera for implying he staged a Hurricane Katrina rescue, the Fox News journo doesn't plan on suing.

• Maybe Lynne Cheney's next book should be called D Is For Dodging. Fox News' Shep Smith's exclusive interview with the veep's wife didn't last after he asked her about Nancy Pelosi's recent criticism: "Listen, I'm not going to talk to you anymore Shepard, but it's been a great conversation. I appreciate it."

• Jailed NYTer Judith Miller might be ready to spill the goods if it'll get her out of prison. Her attorney Floyd Abrams isn't commenting on rumors of a potential deal with prosecutors, which can only mean one thing.

• Is there stormy weather ahead for Good Morning America? Weatherman Tony Perkins is said to be entertaining quite a few courting offers from other networks.

• A CNN staffer bared all but his upper body to an in-house feed, prancing around the network's London studio showing the whole company his bits and pieces.

• Magazine circulation directors are breathing easier, now that the Audit Bureau of Circulations decided to postpone new rules on the inclusion of third-party subscription sales figures. Let the circ scandals continue for just a little while longer.

• Jane Pratt isn't digging her old haunt's new ad campaign. Jane magazine is touting new editor Brandon Holley as "she's so Jane," but Pratt wants nothing to do with it. Damn those "image and likeness" clauses.

• The price was definitely wrong yesterday at CBS. The network broadcast a December rerun of Bob Barker's game show, which featured a trip to New Orleans as one of its showcase gifts. CBS spokeswoman Beth Haiken offered the requisite mea culpas.

• Just because it's fashion doesn't mean Time Inc. execs should be excluded — so long as you allow them recreational time with their Blackberrys.

Now that former ELLEgirl editor Brandon Holley helped shove Jane Pratt out of her throne at Jane (leaving Pratt all sorts of upset) and executive editor Christina Kelly has been promoted to editor-in-chief, there are the less headline-worthy transitions at ELLEgirl to note.

But as you readers of Jossip surely know, no masthead hopscotch is too mundane for us to care and their sheer mass of title housekeeping is worthy of your – and the New York Observer's – attention.

You're already aware Vitals' Nancy Gillen is taking over as managing editor and Sophie Schulte-Hillen was promoted from beauty director to deputy editor/beauty director.

Now, from right next to the oversized blowups of Hilary Duff at 1633 Broadway, we're tipped off that:

• Former beauty market editor Anais Lombard was promoted to beauty editor, working under Schulte-Hillen.

• Former editorial assistant Joanna Douglas was promoted to staff writer.

• Melissa Walker, currently a senior editor, will also receive a title change, but we're waiting to hear from today's edit meeting to figure out what it is.

And, warranting the most fanfare is Erin Meanley, who now dons the title of assistant editor after slaving away as the assistant to EIC Brandon Holley.

We're sure there's more to come, but if we revealed all our ELLEgirl secrets our friends at CosmoGIRL! might start struggling to show their frown lines.

• When Ann Curry isn't bringing you toned down versions of the rest of the world, she's pissing off her neighbors. Meanwhile, ex-Entertainment Tonight host Maria Menounos is headed to the Today show to make it "more hip."

• Lachlan Murdoch is getting a giddy-up on his own plans for a media empire, having registered the new Australian company Illyria just three days after announcing he was leaving the News Corp. empire.

• The Washington Post named in-housers Roxanne Roberts and Amy Argetsinger as its new Reliable Source scribes, which should finally put to rest any rumors of Wonkette's Ana Marie Cox taking over Richard Leiby's byline.

• We're not the only ones concerned over Brandon Holley's coming editorship at Jane — the Wall Street Journal has its quibbles too. As in, for instance, should the mag be renamed Brandon? Probably not, as we don't need today's teens struggling with gender identity any more than they already do.

• It's not just Jason Binn launching new luxury lifestyle publications. And, he's hoping, we're the only ones who care.

• MSNBC's Joe Scarborough has a choice to make, and it's between renewing his contract with Rick Kaplan or submitting a bid to run for a Senate seat.

• FishbowlDC blogger Garrett Graff is joining the staff of Washingtonian magazine as an editor-at-large. Not that we're totally ignorant to the bloggers-joining-magazines craze or anything.

Even though Jane Pratt voluntarily agreed to step down from her namesake magazine, she's quietly seething over ELLEgirl's Brandon Holley ascending the Jane masthead.

Pratt doesn't plan to be in the office when Holley takes control next week, though Fairchild would like you to believe the transition is running smoother than production on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. They're throwing a party for staffers and to welcome their new boss, and, after checking with a source, we hear attendance is mandatory.

Meanwhile, incoming ELLEgirl editor Christina Kelly (formerly the magazine's exec editor) remains a member of Pratt's inner circle stemming from their days together at Sassy.

Which reminds us, we have a media incest survivors group meeting to attend.

• ELLEgirl's executive editor Christina Kelly is taking over the masthead, now that editor Brandon Holley is slamming the door on her way to head up Jane.

• The New York Times is prepping for its own sports magazine (it will not, however, go by T: Sports) while Sports Illustrated is planning a brand-extending lifestyle pub.

• Snoop Dogg is off the hook from allegations he drugged and raped a makeup artist backstage at the Jimmy Kimmel Show. She dropped her charges and he dropped his counter suit.

• Knopf is more than just a little upset with Marie Claire's three-part diet series that sounds a little too similar to its own French Woman Don't Get Fat by Mireille Guiliano.

• 50 Cent's G-Unit cohorts Lloyd Banks and Young Buck are facing felony gun possession charges after cops found loaded weapons during a traffic stop after their Anger Management concert at Madison Square Garden.

• Fresh from serving a year in prison, rapper Beanie Sigel is already on the road to promote his autobiographical DVD.

• Montell Williams is reportedly being courted to join the morning show Good Day New York. His guest spots on the show have gone over well with viewers and now producers want to offer him a regular paycheck.

• CNN is greenlighting a commercial from pro-abortion group NARAL that attacks Supreme Court nominee John Roberts with bloody images of an abortion clinic bombing.

• Former New York Post publisher Abe Hirschfeld is dead at age 85. You might also know him for building parking garages and serving nearly two years in prison for conspiring to kill a business partner.

Maybe if we hadn't taken last week off, we would've dug a little deeper into the depths of Jane magazine. We had almost convinced a full two staffers to tip us off before the official press release on who would be taking over for editor Jane Pratt, but that place has tighter lips than the Church of Scientology.

In the end, it's ELLEgirl founding editor Brandon Holley, who Fashion Week Daily originally waxed rumors about, and not Seventeen's Atoosa Rubenstein (a rumor squashed so long ago, we're calling the era B.H., or Before Holiday).

Our gal pals at Gawker have the full release, so we suggest you put down that 640 calorie catered muffin and take a gander, if only to learn Holley is "so Jane."

And Brandon has a moniker just gender-ambiguous enough to distract readers from the fact that her name is not, actually, Jane.