When word arrived from the television network FX that they were moving forward with Courteney Cox gossip vehicle Dirt, our hearts pitter-pattered as tidbits began to emerge, like Cox basing her cutthroat tabloid editor character on Bonnie Fuller, and how sex tapes would play an important part of the plotline. (Sextapes. Remember those?) Then the show actually appeared on our TV sets and, well, "disappointment" was the only way to describe the mess that we saw. But somehow, FX still had faith. Despite lackluster ratings (even Jennifer Aniston couldn't help) and the cold shoulder from critics, they ordered a second season of Dirt, but that nasty writers strike cut short Cox's gossip revival. And now, the ultimate bad news:

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We've been remiss on our Nip/Tuck watching, so recently we crammed four or five TiVo-d Dr. Troy splurges into a single viewing bonanza.

It just so happened that, while fast-forwarding through millions of dollars worth of commercials, we actually did catch a glimpse of a promo for the second season of Dirt, the Courteney Cox vehicle where she plays a tabloid editor a la Bonnie Fuller.

Given we stopped watching the show during the first season, right about when the crazy guy took the office hostage, we were only remotely interested in the show's March 2 return.

Though we did want to see how writers would treat real-life Fuller's veritable loss of power at her own company. Our guess: They would ignore it for a plotline only mildly more sexified.

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, today F/X announced they are canceling any new production on ABC Studios' Dirt, as well as channel cousin The Riches from Fox TV Studios, beyond the seven episodes of each churned out before the writers strike dried up the script well. So does that spell demise for Cox and her schizophrenic paparazzo pal?

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• Magician Hans Klok comes out of the closet; pledges to leave all the man-on-female sex crimes to (alleged) rapist David Copperfield.

• Jodie Foster's best performance to date.

• Tyra Banks to tell you more than you ever wanted to know about her vagina.

• Courteney Cox is a surprisingly caring mother! Especially for someone who named her innocent newborn "Coco."

• And speaking of Cocos, Ice-T's wife accidentally forgets her Halloween costume at home. A pity.

• Meanwhile, Google accidentally confuses outgoing Time Warner CEO Richard Parsons with…two monkeys. Even better? The ensuing Newsweek article is entitled "Google: Glitch, Not Racism."

• Famous people have it so hard! It's like, once you're a pop star trainwreck, you can't even so much as impulsively strip down to your bra and undies in the middle of broad daylight without attracting the completely unwanted attention of those nosy paparazzi life-ruiners. Seriously! Just let them live their lives, people.

• Nick Nolte, like you've only seen him once or twice before: drunk as a skunk, and possibly living in an airport.

• Awwww, David Arquette clearly has no problem with carrying wife Courteney Cox's purse. Or picking up her feminine hygiene products for her at the local drugstore. Or wearing her panties when he knows she's not around.

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• Reese Witherspoon refamiliarizes herself with her nether regions.

• Beyonce at the BET Awards, live and blissfully uncensored.

• Courteney Cox raids her 15 year-old brother's wardrobe.

• That Gemma Atkinson is such a doll. Too bad she's also best known for dating a European footballer you've never heard of.

• Cameron Diaz smartens up, ditches that creepy magician dude in favor of a Rothschild. Cha-ching!

• Tom Cruise creates production company in megalomaniacal attempt to micromanage his wife's every move.

Look, I don't want to be rude or anything, but I usually don't talk about Jennifer in interviews. People should stop worrying about her life. I could talk about just how great she is doing at the moment, but then it's just an interview about her. I understand your position because her world is so public but, well, I can tell you we're both very fortunate to have each other.

–Courteney Cox, tired of talking about her Friend-ship with Jennifer Aniston. [via Popsugar]

• The mental picture of firecrotch Danny Bonaduce "shoving his junk" into a stripper's face is enough to make us vomit a little. But for those of you with strong stomachs, there's also a video!

• Has anyone else noticed how utterly transparent Courteney Cox has become?

• Sienna Miller bonds with Keira Knightley while filming The Edge of Love, a.k.a. the film that booted Lindsay Lohan for being a total shitshow.

• Paulina Rubio performs on TRL. Rubio remembers her lyrics, forgets to wear pants.

• Meanwhile, Calum Best is vying to become the next K-Fed.

Did you watch Dirt last night? Yeah, neither did we. But we did manage to see footage of the over-hyped, underwhelming "makeout sesh" between Cox and Aniston! Turns out it was less "Girls Gone Wild" and more "Boring Peck On The Lips." Though we did appreciate the super slow-mo camera action, the cheesy music and the obligatory reaction shot of Cox's leering colleague.

[via Popsugar]

Alright, we know this is coming a bit after the fact, but here's your slightly tardy (but still "en pointe") weekly Dirt recap. After all, better late than never, right?

This past episode did not feature the infamous Cox/Aniston makeout scene, although it did boast some sort of a murder mystery about a pregnant cheerleader. Most noteworthy, however, was the guest-appearance of Pee Wee Herman (who managed to restrain himself from, uh, going anywhere near his package) and the raunchy sex scene in the limo, when Lucy Spiller mounts Holt and finally discovers why vibrators are only a woman's second-best friend.

Also, the schizo guy keeps on fucking up and Julia's become a drugged out mess, which we'd care about if we had even slight feelings towards her character.

Read on for the extended recaps, and find out what made our reviewers tick (or ticked off) this week.

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Dirt continues to serve up fictional A-Listers' scandalous secrets on a silver platter…and we continue to (begrudgingly) follow along.

In this latest installment, Cox's Lucy Spiller character strengthens her hold on desperate B-Lister, Holt McClaren, and facilitates the downward spiral of McClaren's trusting (but cheating) girlfriend, Julia. Also, Bonnie Fuller's stand-in has now reverted to a single entendre as the hellish, no-holds-barred vixen, and invariably sports red clothing as an outward manifestation of her inner "evilness."

Indeed, both reviewers point towards the overly dramatized "Courteney Cox as the Devil" vibe, and seemed amused that the immoral one had enough journalistic integrity to protect her sources. (Also entertaining was how the "forbidden seduction scene" essentially evolved into Spiller taunting a vegetarian about his refusal to eat meat. Wuss!)

Meanwhile, there were a bunch of crazy twists and turns in the plot that had absolutely nothing to do with the impending Cox/Aniston makeout session, including updates on that crazy schizo guy, behind-the-scenes look at what publicists really do and unnecessary ass-shots.

Our Secret Tabloid Recappers weigh in after the jump.

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Apparently Jennifer Aniston was none too pleased about her bestie Courteney Cox making nice with Brad at Angie at the Golden Globes.

Natch, Aniston couldn't have been too angry, seeing as she just guest-starred on Dirt as a rivaling editor with a giant, lesbian crush on Cox's Bonnie Fuller-type character. But we can imagine she was less than thrilled to see Court extending an olive branch to the woman who ruined her marriage.

According to the National Enquirer:

1) Jen is pissed that Cox and her husband, David Arquette, "went out of [their] way" to approach Brangelina.
2) Angelina Jolie, like everyone else on the planet, is extremely comfortable during run-ins with her current boyfriend's ex-girlfriend's friends.

Oh, and also, this:

At the Jan. 15 Golden Globes, Courteney and husband David Arquette bumped into Brad and Angelina during a break in the awards show.

"Jen is insulted that Courteney took the initiative and went straight up to Brad when he was there with Angelina," disclosed an insider.

"In Jen's mind, Courteney could have easily avoided them. It's like Courteney went out of her way to be super nice to Brad."

The "Babel" star gave Courteney a bear hug and cooed, "Hello, sweetheart. It is so great to see you."

And he introduced Arquette and Cox to Angelina as "dear friends."

Ouch, one could see how Aniston might have been momentarily miffed, though this hardly has the trappings for any sort of lasting rift. Still, apparently the very idea of Courteney acknowledging Angelina was enough to ruffle Jen's feathers.

But when it came down to picking sides, the husband-stealing/childnapping Angie still loses by a nose.

Update: When this item originally ran, we inadvertently misspelled actress Courteney Cox's name by neglecting to add the second "e," and then attributed the mistake to the National Enquirer. We're sorry for any distress this may have caused, and apologize to our friends over at the Enquirer for tarnishing their good name.

Now that we've learned Jennifer Aniston is on board at Dirt to play the rival to Courteney Cox's Lucy Spiller – and engage in a LESBIAN KISS with her! – it's becoming quite hard to find just one example to illustrate how the show manages to shark jump in each episode. We're at the point where it's happening multiple times per show. You know what other primetime drama exerts that feeling? Lost. And what a boring maze of exhausted plot apexes that series has become.

In this week's episode alone, we've got equal parts necrophilia, foot fetishist, little girl walking in on her father's suicide, and masturbation (well, two parts masturbation). In the end, we're left with the type of cocktail where you swore the bartender put lemon juice in there instead of vermouth.

That said, at least one of our anonymous Tabloiders is enjoying the sauce. And who are our Tabloiders once again? Well, they'd lose their jobs if we told you, but rest assured, these are top-level folks who know that no real-life tabloid editor would lack so much tact she'd hurl insults at her mother. In public.

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With Dirt's ratings in the, uh, dirt, executive producer and star Courteney Cox isn't above cheap ratings gimmicks of the lesbian kind. When it was announced last week that former Friend Jennifer Aniston would be stopping by the show's season finale to play a rival tabloid editor, we had no idea just how desperate the FX series really is.

Aniston's character is a lesbian. What's more, she won't just mouth off to Cox's tightly wound counterpart; she's going to share a lip lock with her.

It's just too bad no man in America wants to masturbate to Courteney Cox. Such a waste.

Sure, Courteney Cox's Dirt may have lost nearly a million viewers by its second episode, but that doesn't mean the show about a fictional tabloid magazine editor is completely off your radar, does it? There are still barely two million of you watching it, so at least twelve or two of you must care — especially when Rachel is coming!

And by that, we mean Jennifer Aniston, who agreed to help out her gal pal and come by the set to film a role for the show's March finale. Aniston will play Tina Harrod, editor at a rival magazine, whose masturbation scenes will be just as uncomfortable.

We're already feeling overloaded with Courteney's Cox (and ginormous balls), but alas, we made a committment to ourselves that we would see this Dirt show through the end-ish — which means it's time for round two of Dishin' The Dirt, our on-going feature where we have two high-level tabloid insiders weigh in on the realities of Lucy Spiller's fictional world of celebrity sex tapes and editors-in-chief getting their own coffee.

In our first installment, our pair of gossip industry veterans pointed out some obvious missteps by Lucy Spiller & Co. Among them: an editor-in-chief would never get her own caffeine dose, for one — and second, she'd never be so technologically inclined that she can whip around on her Treo and PowerPoint at the same time.

This week, Dirt brings us a whole new round of tabloid misrepresentations, like a glossy gossip editor giving a shit about winning an ASME award, or letting a lowly assistant dive into the trenches of investigative reporting. Let's check in to see where Tabloiders One and Two stand.

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