Well, we’ve doubted Paris Hilton’s intelligence before, but we have to credit her for being smart enough to skip out on the televised ego trip known as The Apprentice. This heiress/actress/partygoer/musician will not be participating in this season’s Celebrity Apprentice.
Even without Paris Hilton, plenty of people are desperate enough for media exposure to be in the same room as Donald Trump. And they include: Omarosa, Lennox Lewis, Tito Ortiz, Gene Simmons, Stephen Baldwin, Carol Alt, Vincent Pastore, John Cena and Marilu Henner.
First off, Omarosa isn’t a celebrity. She’s a person who appeared on a reality TV show three years ago. Stephen Baldwin is related to celebrities, but is no longer one himself. As for Lennox Lewis, it’s a shame he didn’t have better endorsements back when he was heavyweight champion of the world.
Angelina Jolie is sort of amazing because everyone thinks she’s like this great beauty. And I’m not saying she’s an unattractive woman, but she’s not beauty, by any stretch of the imagination. I really understand beauty. And I will tell you, she’s not — I do own Miss Universe. I do own Miss USA. I mean I own a lot of different things. I do understand beauty, and she’s not.
–Donald Trump, using his ownership of the Miss Universe pageant to disprove the fallacy of Angelina Jolie's attractiveness. [DListed via Mollygood]
• We're used to seeing Courtney Love look wasted. We're not used to seeing her wasting away.
• Turns out Chris Crocker's wee is even shorter than his fifteen minutes of fame. Zing! (Very, very NSFW).
• "Spoiler" alert: Carrie is going to be wearing some fugly outfits in the SATC movie.
• Your social networking habit is worth $10B, which is, incidentally, the approximate value of all that time wasted annually on social networking.
• How is Kanye West like a nervous teenage girl before a first date? Answer: Both of them take FOREVER to get ready, desperately need their friends' approval and change their outfit a zillion times.
• Trump's upcoming new magazine to cater to "wealthy readers." Who would have guessed??
Beauty doesn’t pay. At least beauty pageants don’t.
The New York Times reports today that beauty pageants are really just as dumb and vapid as they seem. Winners are having trouble collecting on the college scholarships they were promised for parading around in their bathing suits.
Technicalities and paper work stopped Miss South Carolina 2004 from collecting her $20,000 scholarship. “What is very clear to me is that the goal is to not give out the scholarships if at all possible,” she said.
That Miss South Carolina attends Wharton. Meanwhile, Miss Teen South Carolina 2007, who could have certainly benefited from a college scholarship, seems to be doing fine without any education.
Say what you will about Donald Trump, at least he keeps it real about what beauty pageants are all about: beauty.
• Sex and the City spoiler alert: Charlotte gets knocked up, Big is emotionally distant, but nobody cares because the SHOW ENDED OVER THREE YEARS AGO.
• Can we tawk for a minute about that meshugana Joan Rivers and her horse-faced daughter, Melissa?
• Stupidity pays: Miss Teen South Carolina stands to make $25,000 as a model for Donald Trump
• Oddly enough, not every bearded Asian man is Judge Lance Ito
• 62-year-old prostitute apprehended by police, mercilessly mocked for her $15/hour going rate.
• Bombing live performances is so now!
Now that she's no longer wanted by the police or even by E!, Paris Hilton is still in hot demand for reality TV. Donald Trump is courting her via Page Six, calling her possible competition, Britney and Lindsay, "[bleeping] messes." But her business savvy might take her away from working. According to The Sun, Big Brother is offering her more than $600,000 to lay around, get in caddy fights and humiliate herself under the public gaze. If health care and a 401(K) are included, it could be the perfect job.
• At a very minimum, there are five things wrong with Debra Messing's outfit. And "unattractive side-boob" is only one of them.
• Unlike a fine wine, Donald Trump's comb-over only gets infinitely worse with age.
• Boyfriend/pant-stealer Claire Danes, bringing "penis-belt" to a whole new level.
• Paris is in love! Unfortunately, the object of her affections is a dimwitted, wonky-eyed hotel heiress.
• Angelina Jolie is hanging on by a clavicle.
• Unemployed actress Sally Kirkland dons blackface and a Lionel Richie "fro" and poses beside Nicole Richie—presumably because (a) they're all crazy, and (b) Angelina Jolie was unavailable.
• Meanwhile, the next time Paris Hilton screams, "Why won't those awful paparazzi just leave me alone?" simply shake your head and remember that she's a crazy, lying mess.
• Lauren Conrad accidentally-on-purpose broke Brody Jenner's finger during a heated game of touch football. Natch, Jenner didn't let it ruin his beer buzz and had resumed his normal activities (read: binge-drinking and spending his father's money) within hours.
• JLo and her skeletal hubby Marc Anthony claim they couldn't be more "normal." Assuming "normal" is slang for "stuck-up rich people, one of whom has a disproportionately large ass."
Yesterday, we told you Ben Silverman's hatching a plan to court famous people (and, um, the cast of The Office) for an extra special ratings stunt all-celebrity edition of The Apprentice. And now, we hear Trump's cordially invited his arch-nemesis, Rosie O'Donnell to participate, with disingenuous promises that she won't be unfairly targeted and/or fired in the meanest, most dehumanizing way possible.
"If Rosie would like to do it, she would be treated very fairly," Trump tells PEOPLE. "Don't forget her show got the highest ratings in December and January when she and I went at it. So I think it would be very good for Rosie. And she would be treated very fairly."
Persuasive words! But will Rosie take the bait?
Ever wondered how the cast of The Office would fare on an all-celebrity edition of The Apprentice? We sure have! In fact, lately, we've been thinking about it a little bit more every day.
As we see it, the annoyingly sycophantic Dwight Schrute would quickly tick off The Donald with his transparent ass-kissing and self-promotional banter. Meanwhile, Jim and Pam would be too busy pranking Ivanka and debating whether or not to make out to seriously compete, while the Regional Manager of the Scranton Branch of Dunder-Mifflin would undoubtedly ruffle Trump's feather's with his overinflated sense of business savvy, then offend him with some sort of wayward racist or sexist remark in a misguided (and socially inept) attempt at humor.
Fortunately, programming guru Ben Silverman is already well on his way towards making our Office/Donald Trump crossover premise a reality (show).
• Ice-T and Coco hit the beach for some fun in the sun. Unfortunately, Coco forgot her bathing suit, and had to wear two strategically placed red strings instead.
• Meanwhile, it looks as though Ice-T hasn't seen the sunlight since the mid 1990's. Watch out, man—those rickets can be a bitch!
• If you insist on wearing an ugly, purple pleather dress, at try and find one that's not three sizes too small.
• In case you ever wondered what happens when Oompa-Loomps grow up.
• We have no idea whether or not Kim Kardashian's ass has been surgically enhanced. We just wish she'd stop waving it in our face.
Have you heard the news? Only weeks after The Apprentice was found to be conspicuously absent from NBC's Fall upfront schedule, the Donald is already said to be working on a brand new reality show venture. The premise? Trashy—but still attractive—party girls (from the wrong side of the PATH train) are hauled off and sent to "charm school," where they receive stern discipline, presumably from improbably hot dominatrix-types.
'But who,' you ask, 'would ever air such a thing?'
Earlier this week, the prosecution rested their case against billionaire mogul, Conrad Black, thus opening the door for the defense to try anything and everything to win over the jury. Which might explain why they've invited Donald Trump, officially to have him testify on their client's behalf, unofficially to distract the jury with his residual star wattage.
But Trump's task won't be an easy one. The Apprentice star is reportedly being called up on to put a positive spin on the over-the-top "surprise" 60th birthday party Black threw for his wife, Barbara…which he then charged on the corporate card.
[The defense's] focus will be on Trump's account of [Black's wife's] extravagant birthday fete. Hollinger International picked up two-thirds of the $62,869.57 tab for the party at New York's pricey French restaurant La Grenouille, where guests feasted on Beluga caviar and lobster washed down with $320 bottles of Dom Perignon and $13,000 worth of wine.
Prosecutors charge the party was "a social occasion with little, if any, business purpose."
You hear that? Black—oops, we mean Hollinger International—spent $13,000, on wine alone. That's practically enough to buy a new car (or at least a Kia). And here we were conflicted about those four cocktails we threw back at yesterday's Happy Hour.
First Rosie O'Donnell, now Jeff Zucker. The NBC chief is the latest to join the ranks of Donald Trump's roster of enemies after he refused to make a decision to renew or cancel The Apprentice. So what's The Donald to do?
Quit. CONTINUED »
Nancy O'Dell axed as the host of Miss USA? That's not what we hear. Despite Page Six's Monday report that Donald Trump is looking to replace the Access Hollywood anchor as the host of his pageant franchise, one insider tells us that "she is hosting the pageant" — "and "she's mad" over any suggestion otherwise.
The rumor initially started over The Donald's supposed anxiety of a pregnant (and showing) woman hosting his show. Not that discriminating against pregnant women isn't illegal or anything.
So where'd the leak – where Emmitt Smith's name is floated as a replacement – come from? Our source says "not from [O'Dell] or NBC." For its part, NBC has confirmed O'Dell is hosting the show. All of which points to a certain follicle-challenged real estate baron who's looking for an out on O'Dell's contract.
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