Frat boys the world over need to put their meaty little heads together and come up with a new 40-Year-Old Virgin quote to use insultingly when their masculinity is threatened. "Y'know how I know you're gay? You listen to Coldplay!" is to be immediately abandoned, as Coldplay lead singer Chris Martin is on a rampage, and he is not going to stop until mean people quit saying mean things to him.
One British journalist discovered this the hard way. (Sorry for all the crappy British slang that follows.)
CONTINUED »
Celebrity mom Gwyneth Paltrow tries her hand at an Oprah-esque media empire with the launch of her new website, GOOP. The "lifestyle" site promotes such good ideas as "cook a meal for someone you love" and "go to a city you've never been to before."
Fine. Let's review the problems here:
CONTINUED »
In her new film Two Lovers, Gwyneth Paltrow bares her left breast for the camera. For multiple seconds. "This is no wardrobe malfunction," adds Fox 411. "It’s on purpose." You mean they didn't overlook this in post-production? [Fox 411]
Blind Items are like the James Joyce of gossip. They’re challenging, but with hard work comes great rewards.
From Gatecrasher:
Which Oscars golden girl made her celebrity ex-boyfriend pretend to still be in a relationship with her months after they broke up, because she was afraid a split would look bad for her Academy Award campaign? It worked, and they discreetly separated months later.
You're thinking Reese and Ryan, right? Well, remember they were married and the split wasn't discreet in the least. Retro couple Gwyneth Paltrow and Ben Affleck don't work either; their dating time line doesn't line up with her Oscar. So who was the Oscar golden girl?
Your daily dose of schadenfreude: A bartender at Socialista, the bar Ashton Kutchner had his 30th birthday, has hepatitis A.
The disease is spread through food and water, which means A-listers like Bruce Willis, Gwyneth Paltrow, Madonna, Kutcher and Demi Moore could have been exposed to the A-version of the hepatitis.
After a vaccine, everyone should be okay. And after this small scare, they can go back to their carefree life of adoration and riches.
[Photo]
• Rachel Bilson: Anorexic or airbrushed?
• Related, Gwyneth Paltrow: Anorexic or pregnant?
• Kate Winslet: Real woman or star who needs to touch up her roots?
• Mustache on Seth Green: Sincere or ironic?
• Toe-sucking: Not kinky or so not kinky that it's kinky again?
• Britney Spears: Crazy or stupid?
Robert [Downey Jr.] called me and he said, 'This is gonna be fun, and this is gonna be good.' And then he said to me, 'Don't you want to be in a movie that people see?' And I was like, Whoa! What would that feel like? And he's right. Moviemaking is not supposed to be a masturbatory exercise; it's supposed to be shared by other people."
–Gwyneth Paltrow, opening up about her family, career and perspective on filmmaking in the September issue of W magazine.
• Because there's no better time for transcendent soul-searching than suntanning at your daddy's beach house in Malibu. In a Hermes swimsuit.
• If Pete Doherty's banned from London, how will he ever win back his ex, that old rag, Kate Moss?
• Justin Timberlake and Roboho lead the competition with 7 VMA nominations apiece.
• R. Kelly's underage victim (now 23 years old) is understandably embarrassed about that video footage documenting her affinity for water sports.
• Gwyneth puts the "W" in "Waxy-faced androgyny."
• Jason Preston (a.k.a. Marc Jacob's ex) is back on top. Literally.
• Do not hang out with Dori Cooperman unless you want to end up with a botched lypo job, coke in your pants or a Range Rover that runs people over.
• Angelina Jolie is reportedly depressed that her black-facey impression of Mariane Pearl was a box office flop.
• Brad Pitt and Gwyneth Paltrow are getting back together…for some boring political drama that you probably won't bother to go see.
• There's something kind of awesome about the Russell and Kimora Lee Simmons family reunions. Typically, it's the "I'm too old to pretend I ever loved this giant, giraffe of a woman" expression on Russell's face.
• Sumner Redstone is being sued by his son, Michael and is currently feuding with his daughter, Shari, but his brother Edward is totally not crazy at all.
• Congratulations to Kelly Rowland, who has finally learned to begrudgingly accept the color of her skin.
• Apparently, naming your kid "Jermajesty" isn't normal even if your name is Jermaine Jackson. [via Us]
• Diddy writes a not-nice song about ex-girlfriend Kim Porter. Which was probably a good move, seeing as women who let you bang Sienna Miller, ogle Jessica Biel and impregnate other women all while birthing and raising your own children are typically a dime a dozen.
• Annoying rich kids Brody Jenner and Spencer Pratt are in a big, douchey fight.
• Tweens given opportunity to overpay for tacky, American Idol inspired wardrobe.
• Hilary Duff reduces a 9 year-old girl to tears, presumably by forcing her to listen to her crappy new album. On repeat.
• It's not that Eddie Murphy doesn't have time to chase after his ex-girlfriends. It's just that he's sick and tired of supporting their designer shoe habits. Or, you know, their children out of wedlock.
• Is Liv Tyler married to a former homo? Or, should we be asking, 'what's the frequency, Gwyneth?'
• Creepy Scientologists have evolved beyond cupcakes.
• Russell Simmons (seen here plugging something at Art Basel), puppet for corporate America? The audacity!
• Saturday Night Live once again ripping off the lesser knowns?
• Samuel L. Jackson and 50 Cent get over their feud to make a movie and make money, make money.
• LaLo ditches celeb friends, alcohol to party with her nobody gal pals, water.
• Paris Hilton and Britney Spears aren't lovers. They're just one-week friends who will have nothing to do with each other after the New Year.
• Lane Garrison's car crash could've been prevented if he would've settled for Absolut.
• Gwyneth Paltrow makes her real estate decisions based on public attitude toward her.
• Rosie O'Donnell draws local ire.
• Lance Bass only needed a few days to rebound.
• Keith Urban isn't out of rehab yet. He was just allowed an outside conjugal visit.
• Gwyneth Paltrow backpeddles on hating this great nation.
• Guy Ritchie rumored to be not so happy about his burgeoning family.
• Eddie Murphy wants Spice Girl Mel-B to pinky swear the kid is his.
• Jessica Simpson ended her Dolly Parton tribute with "so nervous" and a quick exit. Appropriately, there was no applause.
• Beyonce's late gay uncle helped her buy her prom dress. Ah, memories.
• Gwyneth Paltrow pulls a Madonna and puts British culture on a pedastal above American.
• Keith Urban is out of rehab and back to brunch with Nicole Kidman.
• Paris Hilton ditches Kim Kardashian for being too popular.
• Tracey Morgan disinvited from Christmas tree lighting by Mayor Bloomberg for all those DUIs.
• Marc Jacobs' ex-boyfriend and former rentboy Jason Preston spotted making out with Perez Hilton, the celeb blogger who claims his sex life is nonexistant.
• If Nikki Finke is to be believed, the flick from the anti-Semitic actor-producer is going to perform better than a feel good movie about killing for diamonds.
• Jake Gyllenhaal finds love with a M.M. that isn't Matthew McConaughey?
• Naomi Campbell attacks her drug counselor, gets arrested. Spokesperson calls it a "misunderstanding." [AP]
• The baby daddy of Madonna's adopted son hopeful David wants the media to back off, fearful she'll dump the boy like her equestrian theme. [BBC]
• David Hasselhoff's divorce battle rages on with with accustations that wifey Pamela Bach was "intoxicated" at their daughters 16th bday party. [TMZ]
• Gwyneth Paltrow calls Brad Pitt's Babel performance the best ever, though our vote goes to his acting during the last of the Jennifer Aniston era. [R&M]
• If given the opportunity, former New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey would so jump at the chance to bed his partner on their wedding night. [Queerty]
Gwyneth Paltrow declaring her African heritage was not enough for One, the celeb-heavy org devoted to ending poverty, hunger, and AIDS in the great "nation" of Africa. They now want celebs to pose in their t-shirts, looking like they're smack in the middle of a mad acid trip.
We agree with our snotty little sister — Lindsay Lohan looks like she's hella' cracked out … and what the fuck are Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger doing sharing a t-shirt?
If they were to get two celebs to share a t-shirt you think they would pick Mary-Kate Olsen and Nicole Richie. At least that way it would emphasize the need to help fight starvation on a global level.
One…shirt for the both of us [Mollygood]
While there is nobody we are more sick of in the world than this one, the latest news is news, and we guess you should get it here. Blah, blah, blah.
It is nice to see more successful African actresses going back to work after having kids, though. Ok. We are returning to ordering Chinese food and clipping our toes now.
Today, People answers the truly burning questions facing our society right now.
Uh … hello? She turned African. And we totally hear that's an even better diet than mono.
There is nothing we love more than celebrities trying to save the world. Seriously, we think it's important for them to feel like they contribute to more than just Bonnie Fuller's kids' college funds. Which is why ads like this, ads which support keeping children alive in Africa, are so moving.
Especially when you have an actress like Gwyneth Paltrow wearing war paint and a beaded necklace claiming "I am African."
We're not going to say this is ridiculous because she's white … as we all know, there are some white folks in the great "nation" of Africa. We just can't understand why they couldn't get Charlize Theron to do this particular ad instead?
Right Gwynnie. And I'm Martian. [Copyranter]
• Katie Holmes should just split from Tom Cruise, run away with Suri, and buy Johnny Carson's old home with her settlement money. [ET]
• We're not usually into chicks, but if Adriana Lima wanted to slap us, we might just ask her to do it again. [Page Six]
• How much would a yoga class with Gwyneth Paltrow go for? Oh, only about $50 grand. But she won't get nekked — even though she took her top off for $10 when making The Anniversary Party. [The Scoop]
• Lloyd Grove renames the Ritz Carlton "Swag Central." And at the Swag Central Nicolette Sheridan takes off her clothes. [Lowdown]
• In an attempt to score more movie roles, Naomi Watts has signed up to be a UN ambassador. AIDS is becoming really, really popular among the celebs. [AP]
• Our fave fake celebrity, Natalie Reid, gets banned from Stereo for life. Hmm, maybe that place might be kind of fun to chill at afterall. [NYP]
• Lloyd Grove thinks you should all want to be Gwyneth Paltrow … she just had a baby and she's still skinnier than you. Thanks for that reminder of our 1999 Paltrow-induced anorexia, dude. [Lowdown ]
• Tom Cruise actually has a reason for changing Katie Holmes' name to "Kate." And he's over emphasizing the "woman's name" just a tad. [Bizarre]
• Looks like "Maury's girls" are not too happy with one another. Hey, this mistress should just be happy she's still alive. We all know what happened to Charlie Sheen's side dish. [NYP]
• College sports announcer Keith Jackson hangs up his jersey. Please, don't ask how we came to be reading the sports pages. [NYT]
Editorial Director
