Because learning from the mistakes of the past is so five minutes ago, spoiled young Americans nationwide have yet to understand that racing to get rich is really a very horrible, unwise thing to do with one's life. This as many of their parents struggle to make this semester's tuition payments. What little brats we're rearing.
To wit, many college students, instead of going abroad to study foreign art or interesting cultures, are choosing to spend a semester in the exciting and unique locale of Los Angeles, California, boning up on how to make money in the clustered vampire pit that is Hollywood.
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Why buy the cow when its way of life is so reliant upon you that it can't leave, despite the fact that you rob it blind? That's apparently the abusive husband-like thinking of the city of Los Angeles, which continues to watch shows formerly filmed in its borders – Ugly Betty, In Treatment – head east after failing to offer film and television productions tax breaks comparable to those of New York City.
LA has always sucked, but it's going to suck even more if visitors driving around and looking at it can't every 20 minutes go, "Hey, that's that building from that one movie." According to the numbers, that's happening quite frequently these days. The mayor's office estimates that in just five months since the city of New York enacted their massive tax breaks, city-based shoots have contributed $505 million more in spending than they did during the same time last year.
And New York's not the only city wising up to how profitable playing nice with the movie stars is:
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For three weeks now, America has been engaged in a sort of media black-ops arrangement with China, sending over our best and brightest producers (Weinsteins excluded) from talents such as Sony, William Morris, and MGM, to teach the Eastern moguls how to create cinematic empires.
Which, sure, sounds a little shady: Doesn't China have a gargantuan movie industry already? And why were the sessions kept under such tight wraps until the conference was over? CONTINUED »
Salim Hamdan was just sentenced to five and half years for chauffeuring Osama bin Laden through McDonald's drive-thrus, or whatever the Afghani equivalent is, while he plotted the 9/11 attacks. Hamdan has been holed up in Guantanamo Bay for over five years without a trial, so he's actually eligible for release in five months, although Bush & Co. have threatened to hold him indefinitely after he has served him time. The media has been all over the story because 1) Not every programming minute can be filled by the Olympics; and 2) It potentially sets a precedent for suspected terrorists to receive something looking like a fair trial.
ANYWAY, this story has been blasted to death, but is not dead yet! Much like Oliver Stone's treatment of the Bush dynasty in W, Hamden's story has been optioned for film a little too soon for comfort. Like, jeez, this story has been around for five years but has only gained momentum in the last month or so, which is right around the time that hunky leading man and bad motorcyclist George Clooney bought the rights to The Challenge, journalist Jonathan Mahler's tale of the indicted Yemenite. Can't we let the headline cool, and its effects settle in, before ripping it into a feature? CONTINUED »
First they said the recession was hitting Hollywood hard, forcing fat cats to – gasp! – fly business class instead of first. Then they said industry profits were actually increasing. Now, they’re back to saying Hollywood’s screwed, despite the fact that The Dark Knight is making more money than should be legal:
A movie industry publicist plays a few roles. It is her (and these people are often shes) job to coordinate those obnoxious three-minute celebrity interviews that even blogs can partake in; there, it's her duty to make sure things like this don't happen.
It's also her job to coordinate step-and-repeats and the usual red carpet drama at movie premieres, selecting which media outlets get how much time with her client; inevitably, tabloid TV shows and anybody else with a video camera get the most time, while reporters with a handheld tape recorder will be lucky to stand next to somebody who gets to ask questions.
But the biggest part of a publicist's job? Making sure her asshole entitled client has bottle service reservations at a handful of clubs (because his tastes can change on whim) for the movie premiere's after-after party, and that the right food from a restaurant that hasn't opened yet, and doesn't offer take out, is served hot on her client's private plane. CONTINUED »
Indeed, not a single celebrity died during yesterday's 5.8 earthquake in Los Angeles. But that's not the only (yes we're morbid) bad news: Mother Nature didn't hamper a single reality television show filming in the area. The jerkoffs on Big Brother, who aren't allowed any communication with the outside world, were told by producers that the reason the soundstage was shaking was not because Kirstie Alley had a new show filming next door, but because tectonic plates were moving about beneath them. But there is one minuscule bit of good news: On Sunset Tan, E!'s hopeless irrelevant show about skin cancer, "sales rep and cast member Holly Huddleston was stuck in a tanning booth when things started to vibrate during an FHM photo shoot."
Shia LaBeouf was arrested early Sunday morning in Los Angeles on suspicion of being a young, entitled, self-absorbed Hollywood actor. [AP]
Though Los Angeles magazine was, and likely never will be, to Hollywood what New York magazine is to New York City, it's been trying its darnedest to play a role is the lives of Los Angelenos and the culture wars at large. Interesting, then, about a rumor we're hearing: The magazine will no longer use celebrities on the cover.
This is interesting because, well, Los Angeles is the city of celebrities, so they would abandon the natural resource in its own backyard. Also, celebrities help sell magazines; even titles that have nothing to do with celebs put them on their cover, hoping to generate buzz and some newsstand.
But Los Angeles might be bucking the trend. So either they really don't care what their newsstand numbers look like, or they're making a subtle declaration that, "Hey, Los Angeles just isn't about celebrities!" And indeed they might be right. Agents, publicists, managers, and attorneys are people too.
ZOMG Batman: The Dark Knight is going to be the biggest movie in the history of movies that are big!! It'll play on 4,366 screens its opening weekend, the most any movie has ever registered. "By all accounts this should be Hollywood's best-ever 3-day overall North American weekend at the box office: the number to beat is last year's $151+ million," says Nikki Finke. Rejoice, Tinseltown: America does care about your well-being. And it only took the sacrifice of one of your children to get you there.
An interesting thing is happening inside the walls of 4 Times Square, and we like to call it cannibalism. Times two.
The first act of cannibalism is taking place between Vanity Fair and Portfolio, the anemic Conde Nast business magazine that wouldn't mind putting an A-lister on its cover — say, Will Smith? — and dissecting his Hollywood profit margins. Except doing so would infringe upon VF's territory, eating up Graydon Carter's editorial base.
And the second act of cannibalism?
That would be when Graydon Carter wields his power inside Tinseltown to keep Joanne Lipman and her charges from ever locking down an A-list cover. CONTINUED »
James Wolcott, the media and culture "expert" who, rather than be hired away by a university looking for somebody to produce immutable soundbites about things like media and culture, scribbles a column for Vanity Fair, takes on the "next wave" of Hollywood (see: Gossip Girl) in this way: CONTINUED »
Surprise, minorities: Hollywood doesn’t like casting us as leads in films, even if that means completely shifting around facts to accommodate white actors.
Although director Spike Lee just dressed down the wizened Clint Eastwood for not including black extras in his WWII dramas, a new ABC News article takes issue with the way Hollywood consistently uses whites to fill major roles written for blacks, Hispanics and Asians. To wit:
Back in 2006, Hollywood was staring at what could've been the end of Lindsay Lohan's film career. She was partying all night, rumored to be snorting her nutrients, and blowing off work while filming Georgia Rule. (Okay, so two years has changed little.) The movie's producer, James G. Robinson, even sent her a letter, demanding she adopt more self-control. In the end, of course, Lohan finished the movie, which bombed in theatres.
The ramifications, however, remained: Insurance companies became very nervous about bonding Lohan, which would stick them with a hefty penalty if, for whatever reason, Lohan couldn't complete her acting tasks. (Everyone from Kirsten Dunst to Paris Hilton have faced this problem.) Lohan became a risk, and insurers didn't want to bet a policy on it.
In 2008, it seems times haven't changed. CONTINUED »
That's what the writer's strike is estimated to cost California's economy through the end of 2008. Also: 100 days of a silent Hollywood helped the state enter a recession earlier than the rest of us. Score! [Variety]
Editorial Director
