Think Fridays are slow news days? Think again! Today, in a rousing lead entitled "Scathing Look at Gov's Goofs," Page Six blows the lid off an upcoming Vanity Fair's article purporting to, well, blow the lid off Eliot Spitzer's lifelong pattern of brazen social-climbing.

"[Spitzer] wants to do a good job," Hank Sheinkopf is quoted as saying. "But, ultimately, what he really gives a [bleep] about is whether Harvard, Princeton, Yale and The New York Times love him, because, in the back of his brain, if they don't love him, he's nobody."

Wait a sec, so Spitzer's less interested in serving the general public and more interested in pandering to a closed circle of highly influential liberal elitists? Start the presses! Looks like Spitzer's finally been recognized for what he truly is: a consummate politician.

In today's newest Times exposée, we learn that Ivy League rejects from coast to coast are being forced to focus their sights on (gasp!) second-tier colleges. And, once they get over their initial horror/humiliation of being waitlisted at Brown, the underachieving pre-frosh are actually kinda psyched about settling for their safeties!

Turns out their name-dropping parents aren't quite as good at coping, though.

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Sometimes, we like to make fun of the Grey Lady. Because, like most old people/things, the NYT occasionally sounds awkward or out of touch. And because, from time to time, their trend pieces sound less like actual trends and more like "things a couple of eccentric rich people are doing."

But today, we have to applaud them. Because today, they reminded us why a rolled up New York Times, tucked tidily under one's underarm, is the only appropriate choice for the discerning bathroom reader.

We are referring, of course, to the praiseworthy headline in today's Education section, which is equal parts accurate, informative and mildly condescending regarding the throngs of disappointed would-be Ivy Leaguers.

The headline?

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