You forgot the lady-powered WOWoWOW.com launched over the weekend? Shame! Now you’re going to have to spend your morning catching up on the items you missed.

Like Leslie Stahl’s cat burglary (they found the alleged culprit!), Lilly Tomlin reprinting a 1943 magazine article aimed at men hiring women, and a call-and-response session about which four women you’d like to see adorn Mt. Rushmore.

Ahem. Sorry for needlessly sounding the alarm.

Remember that week-old footage of Lily Tomlin and director David O. Russell going ballistic on the set of I Heart Huckabees? Well, guess who just caught wind of it? The Grey Lady! And she’s spreading the word in today’s Times, for all her canasta buddies and late internet bloomers.

Natch, the NYT attempts to detract from its slow responsiveness by reminding us that “reports of the video’s existence first surfaced in a 2004 article in the New York Times,” and by noting that the Russell tirade had been played on YouTube “more than 150,000 times.”

But our favorite part? The (recycled) Lily Tomlin quote, where the not-at-all-redfaced actress affirms she’s “not the least bit upset” about the leaks, explaining, “there was a lot of pressure in making the movie…[and] adults have fights and go through stuff.”

Translation: “Russell came off looking ten times crazier than I did, and I Heart Huckabees was a boring, pretentious mess.”

• Lindsay Lohan, Meryl Streep, and Lily Tomlin are all no-shows for Robert Altman’s lifetime achievement Oscar celebration. Robin Williams went, though … mostly for the open bar. [NYT]

• Sob your hearts out, well, everyone. We want to not love Chad Michael Murray, but we can’t help it. And now, he’s freakin’ engaged. [People]

• Naomi Campbell, fresh from beating the crap out of her assistant, is in South Africa with none other than Nelson Mandela. [Fox]

• Maybe George Clooney and Lindsay Lohan really are made for each other. She should go for the “we both like to show our bare asses” angle next time she hits on him. [A Socialite’s Life]

• We have a feeling Kevin Costner actually paid this dude to steal his laptop, just so he could get his name back in the news. [AP]