If you haven't read CoverAwards.com — former Life & Style editor Mark Pasetsky's attempt at reinventing himself as a media consultant — you can be forgiven: Most of the website consists of magazine cover scans accompanied and bits of celebrity gossip disguised as tabloid coverage, and really, don't you have an RSS reader stuffed with those sites?

But now Pasetsky is reviewing a crop of magazine each week, focusing in on the tabloids — something we grew tired of, but is still done by many a website out there.

So what's so special about Pasetsky's write ups? For starters, they're less critical observations about the industry's products than they are an attack on his former colleagues.

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The bitter blood between Debra Birnbaum and Mark Pasetsky has not disappeared, even though neither of them are running Life & Style anymore.

You'll remember back in November 2006, we reported Bauer removed Birnbaum as the tabloid's EIC, where marketing type Pasetsky stepped in. Then we chronicled his handling of the magazine, which ultimately ended up with him leaving in September 2007, and Richard Spencer from sister In Touch stepping in to helm both weeklies.

Somewhere in the middle of that, Birnbaum headed to TV Guide as a consultant, and then executive editor. (She had been EIC of spin-off Inside TV, which shuttered.) Pasetsky left to run his own PR firm Mark Allen & Co. It's there he also launched the website CoverAwards.com, which claims to critique magazine covers with an expert's perspective.

In the past couple weeks, as TV Guide was sold to Macrovision and editor Ian Birch was shown the door, Birnbaum was elevated to the top spot.

And it's there, on Cover Awards, that Pasetsky is trying to take her down.

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Former Life & Style editor Mark Pasetsky – who takes some responsibility for all those Brangelina covers – must've found someone to pay $10 an hour to help kick off his stab at creating online content. Introducing CoverAwards.com, a "new way for consumers to offer their opinions on magazine and newspaper covers, as well as web site home pages from around the world."

Though published under the newly minted Tecktonik Media umbrella, make no mistake: CoverAwards.com is Pasetsky's not-exactly-transparent attempt to promote his "Magazine Cover Consulting Service" from his company Mark Allen & Co. Which, to be sure, is not a business move we're crapping on. Dubious, perhaps, but a suggestion we'd make to most PR and marketing firms.

Because we're officially new BFFs with ousted Life & Style editor Mark Pasetsky, we're privy to all his emails. Including the one he just sent out announcing Mark Allen & Co.'s new "Magazine Cover Consulting Service," where clients will, theoretically, enlist his firm's services to test different versions of magazine covers in hopes of putting the best-selling version on the newsstand.

"We will provide strategic cover recommendations designed to help publishers gain an edge over their competitors and ultimately increase newsstand sales," says Mark.

Sounds like a sure-fire plan, coming from the fella who put together this August cover of Life & Style — accomplishing the feat of seeing newsstand sales drop by 150,000, to just 600,000, after blowing a fat wad on exclusive photos of Maddox Jolie-Pitt's birthday party and then under-delivering on enticing coverlines.

After Mark Pasetsky was ousted as the editor of Life & Style, the official word was that he was headed back to the marketing firm Mark Allen & Co., where he came from. There, he was going to work on "various branding initiatives" for Bauer.

Well, at least we've got evidence of that first one. An Allen release announces Mark's latest client.

Mark Allen & Company, a leading communications firm headed by Life & Style’s former editor-in-chief Mark Pasetsky, has been named agency of record for Barc, a leader in the $1.8 billion African American and Hispanic men’s grooming category. [...]

“With Pasetsky’s experience at Life & Style coupled with his extensive public relations experience, we’re excited to have Mark Allen & Company representing Barc,” said Christopher Hayes, CEO, Barc.

If by "experience at Life & Style" means "experience destroying staff morale and confidence" and "extensive public relations experience" means "extensive experience allowing your name to be trudged through the mud," then Mr. Hayes has plenty of reason to be excited.

Nobody at Bauer has any idea where those rumors about Life & Style shutting down entirely came from. But the Bauer dust has settled, leaving In Touch EIC Richard Spencer in charge of both celeb weeklies.

There's no plan to fire anyone at L&S, says a source there. That doesn't mean the climate won't change by next week, of course, but we're told both magazines will maintain separate news reporting staffs. Spencer has met with senior level L&S staffers already and, from what we understand, everyone is well-liked. At least enough to keep the friendly game of smiles going on in Englewood Cliffs. Staffers at L&S tell us they're "thrilled" and "so happy" to have new leadership.

Not making that list of well-liked, of course, is Mark Pasetsky, the now-former L&S chief who took the reigns in November to, um, our chagrin and delight. He was a "nightmare manager," says one knowledgeable source, "demanding to get stories that didn't exist." Well, yeah.

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How else to explain the nearly identical Us Weekly and Life & Style covers than to assume it was the Bauer pub who stole Janice Min's idea?

Rumor-counters L&S EIC Mark Pasetsky: "There is no truth to this story whatsoever. I had no concept of what they were working on." Retorts Us: "Everything about Life & Style's cover story is a poor imitation."

Demands the peanut gallery slash Britney's kids: "Help us!" [P6]

Evidently, Lindsay Benjamin's exit from Life & Style isn't the only turnstile swing the Bauer tabloid is seeing. We're hearing there's more "massive bloodletting" going on, with at least two more people – senior news editor Rosemarie Lennon and senior designer Valentina Porrazzo – making friends with the exit signs on this "Black Thursday."

From inside Bauer comes word (as if we needed it) that "they're getting rid of a lot of people" and "restructuring."

Update: Another source "thinks" photo billings coordinator Betsy Jimenez has also been shown the door.

Update 2: Staffers are being "[called] into the conference room one by one" and being fired. "No one knows why or what's going
on." More for the list of axings: senior reporter Shauna Bass, designer Matt Orefice, Betsy Jimenez (a definite this time), and style director Anne Fritz (perhaps the highest firing thus far).

Mark Pasetsky's tenure helming Life & Style continues to erode.

Not only have executive editor Rebecca Dolgin and features editor Ingela Ratledg departed the Bauer tabloid, but we hear things at the office have only worsened for current staffers. You've already heard the tales of Mark bringing in a feng shui expert and holding employees till late in the night.

Now word continues to stream in that things haven't gotten any better. Late nights are turning into later nights. There's no such thing as a "light day" any more. And, worse, Mark's makeup choices haven't changed

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Did you see Page Six this morning? Yeah, so did we. But shockingly (perhaps even unforgivably) we failed to properly appreciate the informative—yet succinct—item about the New Jersey offices of Life & Style. Sure, we've all heard the rumors that the mag's going down faster than Paris Hilton on a Saturday night. But what we hadn't heard was gratuitous venting from disgruntled staffers, the analogies between editor in chief Mark Pasetsky and Courteney Cox's character on Dirt and the one line that aptly sums up the Englewood Cliffs experience:

"It's hell on earth to get out there [to Jersey]. And when you get there, it's the worst job you've ever had."

Anyone else think Pasetsky should keep channeling Courteney Cox and attempt to boost ratings circulation by planting a steamy, same-sex kiss on one of his rival editors? Nah, that'd never work. Readers can smell desperation, and Jann Wenner just isn't looking for anything serious right now.

Exclusive

By the looks of this week's staid cover of Life & Style – Angelina Jolie looking pregnant is an exclusive? – you might've thought things had toned down at the Bauer tabloid. But that's not the case at all, according to our tattlers in Englewood Cliffs. As you'll recall, newly seated L&S EIC Mark Pasetsky has been met with more than a little staffer resistance ever since he took over from (or, had a hand in the removal of) Debra Birnbaum in November. And we've had a great time reporting it.

But even after all the staffer exits, insults, name calling, and makeup tales, the shenanigans aren't over. Now we hear Mark is trying to hard to reposition the workplace that he recently brought in a feng shui expert, who told him, among other things, that he needed to change the wall color. So goodbye "blah" blue, as one tipster tells it, and hello "pale yellow." (Another insider chimes in to say the color is actually more of an "institutional beige.") Says one insider: "He probably thinks [painting the walls] will lift everyone's spirits."

If his color pallete – and trust in a feng shui hack – isn't enough to flee New Jersey, Pasetsky is giving his staffers plenty more reason to run — he's continuing his Bonnie Fuller tactics and keeping staffers late into the night. All of a sudden, Fridays and Mondays have become late nights, we're told, which comes after Mark began holding staffers late on Wednesdays and Thursdays. If anyone's pissed off, it's the designers: "The number of designers who call in sick is hilarious," says one in-the-know tattler.

Which might explain why – as we've collectively heard from staffers and readers alike – the pages look like crap lately.

Looks like the Life & Style fall out is getting a good start. We hear that yesterday, the embroiled tabloid's photo director, Polly Teller, walked off the job. An insider tattles, "She was there in the morning, and then she wasn't, and slowly word filtered out from other photo editors that she had actually quit."

Meanwhile, disgruntlement with newly seated EIC Mark Pasetsky continues to grow as he begins morphing into Bonnie Fuller and holding the staff late in the night. So-called "early nights" like Wednesday and Thursday have become later and later, with staffers being chained to their desks till 8 or 9pm as he demands the art department continue to redesign layouts. But, "he doesn't give any direction — he just knows he doesn't like the result. So the designers have to keep trying until they finally happen by chance to hit on a design he likes."

To be fair, however, our insider says Mark is "not a tyrant or anything, but he
doesn't seem to have any idea how low morale is around the office."

Sounds like Hubert Boehle certainly put the right man in charge of things.

Exclusive

Is Bauer Publishing one of publishing's least friendly employers for those with XX chromosomes? That's what multiple current and former staffers, from the business and publishing side of the business, have been telling us. Forget VNU's dildo-slash-sexual harassment doozy of a lawsuit. If you're a woman who feels uncomfortable in the workplace, there's a good chance Bauer is your boss.

And most of the blame, we're told, falls on chief Hubert Boehle. One former Bauer employee calls the CEO an "egomaniacal misogynist," and that seems to be the kindest of compliments we've heard.

Bauer, of course, was in the news most recently for axing Debra Birnbaum as Life & Style's editor-in-chief, even after she managed a staggering 49 percent increase in circulation only to see the floor fall out on her. Her replacement was Mark Pasetsky, the mag's general manager who – we've been telling you – doesn't have the confidence of many staffers.

One current staffer claims Brinbaum's ousting may have much to do with the fact that she's a lady. "It's pretty obvious [Boehle] had a problem with a woman having so much success," tattles our insider. But an ex-staffer questions why Boehle – who has only one woman, the relatively powerless teen group president Lynette Gallagher, on his executive roster – would replace a woman with the openly gay Pasetsky. Perhaps it's because, as our source tells it, he's the "bottom" in this relationship.

I was very surprised when he put then openly gay Pasetsky in the GM role. He keeps most of his female and effeminate staff in editorial where they stay under his thumb. Of course, I have always held the opinion that his interest in Mark was a little deeper than general manager.

Bauer is an atrocity of an employer. Ask anyone who has worked for Carol Brooks at First For Women. During my time at Bauer she once told me that "employees at Bauer were the most 'litigous' she'd ever seen". Of course, that's what happens when you fire people for getting married/pregnant/having a life and take it as a personal affront.

So Hubert isn't the panty-chaser we took him to be, but rather on the verge of a Jann Wenner coming out story? We'd love to be the ones to report it. Or perhaps its the childish story more suited for Bauer's J-14. Either way, the infractions against women apparently continue to mount. And soon enough, Rachel Sklar is gonna hear about it. You were warned.

It would be just wrong of us to head into the weekend without another EKG report from Englewood Cliffs, right? Live from an insider, new EIC Mark Pasetsky actually racks up some bonus points as blame is tossed at Bauer CEO Hubert Boehle. But not before he gets called a "lapdog." After the jump, another note from an ex-Bauer type — but not before we present you with this here photo: Pasetsky as Brad Pitt for Halloween. What, you're not feeling it either?

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Just three days on the job and it sounds like Life & Style editor-in-chief Mark Pasetsky doesn't have a floor to stand on. You might expect a replacement EIC to face some awkward glances and stop-start editorial meetings at first, but an absolute fall-out? Even us gossip cravers couldn't have hoped for anything more.

Since we broke the news on Tuesday that Bauer Publishing removed Debra Birnbaum as editor, we've been hearing from hoards of current and former staffers (yesterday's update is here). It's unlikely we've ever received more communications from unhappy insiders about a single person at one time since this blog launched three years ago.

While Debra received much praise (and a few disgruntled asides), we've yet to hear one promising iota about the new L&S leader.

Though we have learned he dressed up as Brad Pitt at Bauer's Halloween party and likes to wear eyeliner. We don't know the brand, but staffers certainly have a nickname for him: "snake eyes."

Says one insider:

This guy has wreaked havoc on far too many people for far too long. If he works in the celeb gossip world, now's his time to see what it feels like to be the subject of the very gossip he likes to create in his brilliant cover lines that he loves to take credit for.

He also thinks he's a brilliant PR aficionado. So can he control all of these messages? Good luck.

And that seems to be the kindest of all notes. An ex-staffer – who recommends we "interview at Life & Style so you can see first hand how accurate MOST of the pissed off staffers are" – notes that Mark "transforms from a pseudo-closeted 'suit' to a gold chain wearing, muslce tee sportin', backward hat rockin' gym rat."

This person's email to us was so riveting, in fact, we've reprinted it in full after the jump. We're also going to send 'em a job offer. (Life & Style's PR folks, meanwhile, declined to comment.)

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The Life & Style melee is only just beginning, according to multiple insiders. Following Tuesday's dismissal of EIC Debra Birnbaum, current and former staffers, as well as other Bauer insiders, have been flooding our inbox with reports, which range from "morale is non-existant" to "there's at least a half dozen resumes from different people sitting in the printer tray." Some folks have had the audacity to claim Debra Birnbaum's replacement, Mark Pasetsky, has "not a drop" of "journalism experience," "ZERO edit or fashion experience" and that he "started at Bauer as marketing flunky."

Says one insider: "He has no vision, changes storries in middle of them being shipped, and cuts out outher mags and asks staff to copy it."

Clearly not the vote of confidence you'd hope for during such a top-level regime change — and it's unlikely Pasetsky is going to put up with it. "Expect a mass exodus," one senior level insider instructs us.

A parade of sudden vacancies wouldn't come as a surprise, and not just because of the new leadership, but because "[Bauer CEO Hubert Boehle] doesn't want to pay holiday bonuses." Another tattler tells us Pasetsky's role will be more "lapdog" than editor-in-chief, since Boehle's latest gimmick is to micromanage the magazine.

Which, as you know, works so well with Jann Wenner and Us Weekly.

We're hearing that following Tuesday's dismissal of Life & Style editor Debra Birnbaum – where she was replaced by L&S general manager Mark Pasetsky – creative director Tom Lowe also made an exit. Signaling what might be the beginnings of a staffer exodus, we're told Lowe left his gig voluntarily, without the fanfare of a formal firing. Which leaves Pasetsky without a No. 2 to handle .. what was it again? Ah, yes, editorial.

Some Bauer insiders are calling bullshit on the publisher's official excuses for firing Life & Style editor-in-chief Debra Birnbaum.

The official story – which we were the first to tell you about yesterday – has Bauer brass firing Debra (who'd only been sitting as editor since March) and giving Mark Pasetsky (who held the title of "general manager") the job because Debra supposedly had zero interest in the style/fashion aspect of the magazine. Mark, meanwhile, is allegedly a style expert and was around when the original concept of L&S was hatched.

But multiple sources we've spoke with inside the magazine (and staffers who used to work there) tell us the official word doesn't add up.

One insider with direct knowledge of the situation says Bauer was showering Debra with praise as recently as two weeks ago for bringing circulation up a full 50 percent during her tenure. Then, all of a sudden, they started asking for more style coverage; Bauer wanted L&S to become the "style bible," we're told. Which is odd, because as our tattler tells it, they were telling Debra there was too much style editorial just two weeks ago.

Meanwhile, some quick poking shows Debra's replacement doesn't have much of a style background himself. "Sure, he may be [general manager, and Debra's boss], but could he tell you the difference between Christian Louboutin and Heather Mills' shoes? No," claims one insider. And while Bauer may delcare Pasetsky as having hoards of editorial experience, we're told he barely had a hand in any of the day-today editing, story selection, or focus of the tabloid "besides saying, 'We need to be on Britney's divorce."

All of this, meanwhile, comes on the eve of what was supposed to be a new debut from L&S: a shopping website, much like ShopVogue.com, where readers can instantly access and buy the very items featured in the magazine. While one source says it was Debra's idea, another counters that the web venture is definitely one initiative spearheaded by Mark.

So maybe he does understand fashion, but a crash course on the difference between Chloe and Clarendon might be worth it.