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'Officials on Tuesday said they charged two Malibu men for attacking a paparazzo who was snapping pictures of actor Matthew McConaughey as he was surfing in the Pacific Ocean in June. [...] Skylar Martin Peak, 24, and Philip John Hildebrand, 30, both of Malibu, were each charged with one misdemeanor count of battery for attacking Richid Altmbareckouhammou, who was working for a French news agency, the Los Angeles District Attorney's office said. Officials claim the two men threw Altmbareckouhammou into the water from where he was taking pictures on the beach. Each faces up to six months in jail and a $2,000 fine.' [Reuters, earlier]

Sep 3, 2008 · posted by david · Link · Respond
Human Trafficking

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The endless race for the latest set of exclusive celebrity photos wraps another round, with OK! reportedly snapping up the first pictures of Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves' son Levi Alves, adding to this week's long-expected coup of Jamie Lynn Spears' new daughter Maddie. Of course, this is just a small battle compared to the People v. OK! bidding war for Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's new bundle of paydays.

Update: The price for the pics? Three million dollars, says TMZ, with the deal including the baby's first Christmas pics too and the option to bid first on their weddings photos should they tie the knot.

Jul 9, 2008 · posted by david · Link · Respond
Edited video footage that makes the paps look like the good guys

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When news broke of "The Matthew McConaughey Paparazzi Surfing Scandal," heretofore referred to as the "incident," the story was shaped in a very particular way: It was the band of surfers on the beach, out to protect their sand and their celebrity leader, that taunted the paparazzi, leading to the skirmish that was caught on video. But what if it was the other way around — the paparazzi actually started the fight that caused a broken nose and $10k in damaged camera equipment? And because the photogs were the ones recording everything, they got to edit the video in such a way that made the beer-drinking surfer fellas look like the culprits? And that everybody who would report on this sort of thing, from mainstream entertainment press to blogs like this one, reported the "paparazzi as victims" version because we're so reliant on these agencies' photos for content?

To the conspiracy theories!

CONTINUED »

Jun 26, 2008 · posted by david · Link · 1 Response
America, America, This Is You

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Beach blanket belligerence!

A group of paparazzi and the Malibu surfers who attacked them last weekend – to protect the privacy of Matthew McConaughey, say the surfers – have taken to Web site comment boards to taunt and threaten one another with promises of future attacks. What began as just standard American race-bating has become promises of a photographer vs surfer beach rumble, set to go down this Saturday. Unfortunately, we don’t think there’s enough time between then and now to come up with a way to knock Southern California into the briny depths, so, if you’re in the area, go and watch these idiots smash each other’s hollow heads like so many tan jack-o’-lanterns. And take pictures!

After the jump, some of the really witty verbal jabs.

CONTINUED »

Jun 25, 2008 · posted by david · Link · Respond

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While paparazzo Josh Levine levies a $2.5 million lawsuit against Woody Harrelson for allegedly assaulting him and breaking his video camera two years ago, some other photogs might be heading to court over this weekend beach battle with a group of surfers, who were either intent on protecting their hidden beach enclave from overcrowding, or view Matthew McConaughey as their leader who must be protected at all costs.

CONTINUED »

Jun 23, 2008 · posted by david · Link · Respond
Human Trafficking

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Following yesterday's news of People paying an estimated $1.3 million for Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz's pics from tomorrow's wedding comes news that Matthew McConaughey and Camila Alves are already shopping around their offspring to the highest bidder. [TMZ] They've enlisted "brand agent" Todd Shemarya, who was behind similar deals for Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie and Christina Aguilera, and already there's interest from at least three magazines with a price over $1 million. We're guessing it's People, OK!, and Us Weekly in the running, leaving the only question remaining: Will McConaughey hold the baby with or without his shirt on?

May 16, 2008 · posted by david · Link · Respond
we admit it: we just got carried away

• We don't any straight girl or gay man who isn't excited for the Sex and the City movie. The extended trailer proves why.

• We know we mentioned this yesterday, but here are more details about the Pax adoption. Even though Brangelina hyphenate, this kid's name is Pax Pitt. Porn career much?

• If Fergie and Donatella Versace don't share a biological father, then they at least share a plastic surgeon.

• News that Jennifer Garner and Matthew McConaughey are starring in a rom-com is about as surprising as John McCain's reaction to the New York Times story. They do look cute, though.

• When you mash-up all their features, your beautiful celebrities aren't so beautiful anymore. You remain angelic.

• Pictures of David Beckham without a shirt on. Like you even need a quip to click the link.

Feb 22, 2008 · posted by rebecca · Link · Respond
Matthew McConaughey disappoints us

• Matthew McConaughey doesn't wear deodorant, but can sell cologne for D&G.

• "Hillary Clinton Thinks Shakespeare was Francis Bacon," and other reasons to vote for Obama.

• Tyra Banks hugs fierce. Like you're surprised.

• This worst weekend in New York proves that the Times are snobs, but you love them for it.

• What passes for gossip in other countries: Real Madrid soccer star might be gay.

• Lindsay Lohan, real or fake debate continues in earnest.

.

Feb 18, 2008 · posted by rebecca · Link · Respond
i've got you

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• Cher continues to inspire drag queens everywhere with her wigs.

• With Heroes on hiatus, Hayden Panettiere is devoting herself full-time to looking like a 30-year-old.

• "Grammy fashion" continues to need quote marks …

• … Particularly, Beyonce's camel toe-inducing underwear.

• Good news for your dwindling faith in humanity: The Hottie and The Nottie bombed at the box office.

• What gives? Matthew McConaughey has been wearing shirts lately.

[Photo]

Feb 11, 2008 · posted by rebecca · Link · Respond
what d'ya say, son?

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Our daily attempt to help you seem smart, even if you’re not.

haplology \hap-LAH-luh-jee\ noun: contraction of a word by omission of one or more similar sounds or syllables

Due to his Texas upbringing and surfer tendencies, Matthew McConaughey often lets a haplology slip in his speech.

[Photos]

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Feb 6, 2008 · posted by rebecca · Link · Respond
peee ewwww, Matthew

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• Page Six uncovers that Matthew McConaughey doesn't use deodorant. Here's hoping that his next People profile reveals his toilet paper consumption.

• Bart Simpson, or rather Bart Simpson's voice, Nancy Cartwright, gave $10 million to Scientology. Residual checks well spent!

• Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson go all the way and hold hands in public.

• Avril Lavigne enjoys her last few weeks with a bikini body.

• Jessica Alba is having a boy. Whatever, unless you're buying a onesie for her, you have no business caring about this.

• Good news: If you like picturing celebrities doing menial labor, some has done the Photoshopping work for your imagination.

[Photo]

Jan 30, 2008 · posted by rebecca · Link · Respond
famous people continue being famous on MLK day

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• We're bad with make-up ourselves, but we're pretty sure Pamela Anderson did something wrong here.

• Britney & Adnad: The break-up video. Hey, it's more appealing than the sex video.

• J. Lo looks kind of conical, but has a nice glow.

• A round-up of Matthew McConaughey exercise pictures. Enjoy them now before he starts gaining sympathy weight.

• Hollywood has aged Lindsay Lohan. Her breasts, along with her tolerance for drugs and alcohol, were among the victims.

• Despite the time difference, Australians have been out and about lately.

Jan 21, 2008 · posted by rebecca · Link · Respond

MATTHEW TO MAN UP All the pot hasn't lowered Matthew McConaughey's sperm count. GF Camila Alves is pregnant. In his words, "we are stoked." Totally! [Mollygood]

Jan 16, 2008 · posted by rebecca · Link · Respond
heidi montag lives up to her potential

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• On seeing this picture of his ex-fiancée and current GF Heidi Montag posed on all fours, Spencer Pratt thought to himself, "now this looks familiar."

• Trying to seem smart by taking a stand on the writers strike, Joaquin Phoenix ends up looking like a misguided first grader, and misspells his name.

• For our money, Brian Austin Green peaked during the later college years of 90210. Everything that came before and after was for not.

CONTINUED »

Jan 10, 2008 · posted by rebecca · Link · 1 Response

Ever shirtless Matthew McConaughey will replace Owen Wilson in Ben Stiller’s upcoming movie, Tropic Thunder. Since McConaughey would never give his heart to a woman, he should be a safe choice. [Variety]

Sep 19, 2007 · posted by rebecca · Link · Respond

When was the last time you saw Matthew McConaughey with a shirt on?

Sep 14, 2007 · posted by rebecca · Link · Respond
Reese Witherspoon And Jake Gyllenhaal Are No Longer Dating If, In Fact, They Ever Really Were

• Reese Witherspoon tells Jake Gyllenhaal, "it's probably better if [we] don't talk at all." Which is different from when they were "dating," how?

• Matthew McConaughey runs like a girl.

• Orthopedic shoes are the new Manolos!

• Elizabeth Hurley may have dumped Hugh Grant years ago, but she's still hanging out with a couple of boobs.

• Marc Jacobs threatens to move his show to Paris, where nobody cares if he arrives 2 hours late and unshowered.

• Tyra Banks doesn't look "fierce" so much as she appears to be saying "Look, here's my vagina."

Sep 14, 2007 · posted by debbie · Link · Respond
And, In Some Cases, Even Longer!

Did you hear? Matthew McConaughey was just named as People magazine's bachelor of the year—presumably because he's ambiguously gay chronically single, and has a well-documented habit of running shirtless on the beach.

And while we have no problem with paparazzi capturing every blissful moment of McConaughey's early-morning calisthenics (his six-pack abs more than make up for that "dirty, hippy hair") we can't say we feel the same way about a few of this year's other runner-ups.

CONTINUED »

Jun 15, 2007 · posted by debbie · Link · 4 Responses
Pamela Anderson May Be Turning 40, But Her Silicon Breasts Don't Look A Day Over 35

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According to Pamela Anderson, "40 is the new 20." Which is funny, because that's exactly what her plastic surgeon said.

• Matthew McConaughey convinces C-list actresses to "take off their tops" for the sake of art.

• LSD has always been known for its psychedelic goodness. But who knew its lesser known side effects include amazing 60's hair??

• Ashley Olsen continues to adhere to her all-Starbucks diet.

These pics of Enrique Iglesias with Anna Kournikova remind us that even second-rate tennis stars aren't immune to "settling."

Jun 13, 2007 · posted by debbie · Link · 1 Response
David Hyde Pierce Proves It Is, In Fact, Possible To Come Out Of The Closet Without The Help Of People Magazine

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• Apparently, David Hyde Pierce is a homosexual. And here we thought his love for Daphne Moon was real.

• Matthew McConaughey continues to get rejected by establishments upholding the "No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service" policy.

• Lily Allen reveals she was expelled from high school for going down on some dude.

• Jordin Sparks is totally comfortable with her body. That is, until the tabloids, media and fashionistas all convince her she's horribly wrong. And fat.

• Who knew Ice-T's cracked out wife had her very own magazine? What's more, she even graces the cover herself. Like Oprah!

May 30, 2007 · posted by debbie · Link · Respond
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