Here's how the Fox Business Network maintains its commitment to relevancy: "FOX Business Network will host a televised debate between two contenders for the Libertarian presidential nomination, Mike Gravel and Wayne Allyn Root, on May 16 (Friday), at 8:10 am (eastern time). There will be a 10-minute session which ends at 8:20; then there will be a second session, also 10-minutes, that starts at 8:40.

"Also, Reason Magazine hosts a 3-person debate on May 20 in Washington, DC, at 4 pm eastern time. That debate will not be televised, but will include Gravel, Root, and Bob Barr." [BAN] [Photo: bluntzilla]

After the Iowa caucus, many candidates will have to admit their adolescent aspirations for president are both absurd and financially unfeasible. But before they go back to political obscurity, we’re taking a quick look at a few of the wackos who want to rule the free world this week.

Who: Mike Gravel

Current Job: Currently retired, former Senator and House Speaker from Alaska.

Currently Polling: 1% [CNN]

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• Casting for a slutty blond pin-up girl in Hollywood is like going to a Star Trek convention and looking for a pimply-faced socially awkward guy who's never been laid. Trying to find a curvaceous size 16 in Los Angeles? Now therein lies the challenge.

• And today in crazy: "Sperm donor 'dad' hit up for child support.'" Geez. For that matter, any masturbatory emissions could be termed reckless abandonment.

• Lindsay Lohan may have cheated on her annoying rehab fling with recently divorced womanizer Heath Ledger. Discuss.

• John Edwards has yet to discover how to outshine fellow Democratic rivals Hillary "The Woman" Clinton, Barack "The African American" Obama and Mike "I Remind You Of The Grandparent You Never Call Or Visit" Gravel.

• Ever wondered what the inside of an interior designer's home looks like? It's easy! Just picture your apartment, except with rich colors, expensive couches and nothing from IKEA.

Sen. Mike Gravel thanks the gays and Queerty for getting the Human Rights Campaign to backtrack on its decision to exclude the most overtly gay-friendly Democratic presidential candidate from its "debate" on Logo.