TRIPLE THREAT Mike Wallace is recovering from the triple-bypass heart surgery he had over the weekend at Lenox Hill Hospital. A ticking clock joke that referenced the 60 Minutes theme and our own morality would be inappropriate, right? [NYP]

Mike Wallace wants to make it clear that he is not being pushed out of CBS — he's just retiring because he's old.

"When asked in an interview last April if he would ever consider retiring from 60 Minutes, Mike Wallace said that he planned to do so only 'when my toes turn up.'

'Well,' Mr. Wallace said, amending that statement in an interview today, 'they're just beginning to curl a trifle.'

You all know Wallace as a correspondent on 60 Minutes, a role he has held since the show's beginning in September 1968. Today, Wallace announced his plans to retire this spring, at the close of the current television season.

Let the psychic predictions over who will take his spot (will it be Diane Sawyer, Katie Couric, Merideth Viera, or Elizabeth Vargas?) begin.

Confirmed: Mike Wallace Retiring [TV Newser]

• Who to swap handshakes with: Members of the Marine Corp. or Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles? We'd choose to watch Lost repeats, but Tom Brokaw broke his armed forces speaking commitment to be with the latter. [Page Six]

• So much for Leonardo DiCaprio's Pussy Posse's charm. After getting the boot from Gisele Bundchen after exploring the shores of Sienna Miller's beach, he couldn't even muster a Halloween lay. [Page Six]

• The latest Rosa Parks name dropper? Sarah Michelle Gellar, who lectured on the shallowness of women's values today – compared to Parks' mission – at .. a party for DKNY jeans. [Lowdown]

• She'll do the cover of New York and pen 12,000 words for the Times in any given week, but point a paparazzi camera at Maureen Dowd and she'll flee. [Gatecrasher]

• Wednesday night's gala at the Guggenheim for the new Michelin Red Guide was a foodie who's who, but the French book's snubs meant the Four Seasons' Julian Niccolini was (among others) a no show, leaving Daniel Boulud to soak up the limelight. [Page Six]

• What do you do when your own network won't help you pimp your memoirs? If you're Mike Wallace, you have your son, Chris, interview you. [AP]

• Retired nightclub impresario Peter Gatien is back on the scene, but if a nightclub opens in Toronto, does it really count as a comeback? [Page Six]