In Nickelback they trust

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Nickelback, the maybe-Christian rock band that makes us want to take a hammer to our radios, is thisclose to signing one of those 360 deals with Live Nation, the troubled concert tour and music marketing company that’s firing everybody, including its chairman.

This, from FoxNews.com gossip Roger Friedman, which makes the report questionable — since Friedman also reported it was Nickelback who had the hit “The Reason.” Except they didn’t; Hoobastank did.

Like fellow Live Nation transplant Madonna, Nickelback is currently on Warner Music, which means if Friedman’s other reports about Warner planting negative items about Madonna and her supposedly struggling tour are true, then the Canadian rockers should expect the same when their next tour dates are announced. Something tells us tens of millions of dollars from Live Nation will soften the blow.

Jul 3, 2008 · Link · 1 Response

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Gym Class Heroes frontman Travis McCoy was performing “Peace Sign” on stage with his group during the St. Louis Warped Tour stop when a black audience member called him a “fucking ignorant nigger.” That’s when things went downhill.

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Jul 2, 2008 · Link · Respond
WWHMD?

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The great (and by “great” we mean “annoying”) thing about Heidi Montag is that she’s a mystery: Does she really believe the stuff that comes out of her mouth or is it all a big joke? And if it’s a joke, why does she insist on being the punch line?

Lately, Horse Face has gone off on a Christianity tangent, claiming she reads the Bible every day and is a “kind of non-denominational Baptist.” Whatever that means. Also? She plans to insult God through the power of her terrible music by recording a Christian album.

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Jun 30, 2008 · Link · Respond

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As part of the lesson it learned in trying to offer customers everything at once, Starbucks, which as seen same-store sales dip for the first time ever, will lighten the load in at least one category: music. Though it moved some 4.4. million records last year (or a little over 4X the number of albums Lil’ Wayne moved in a single week), it will drop from the dozen-plus CDs it offers at any time to about four as part of a “less is more” way of thinking. The coffee chain will continue selling music in a partnership with iTunes, which means if you’re a Starbucks Card member, get a cup of coffee, and make use of the two free hours of WiFi that comes with it, you’re still welcome to bombard yourself with too many music offerings.

Jun 26, 2008 · Link · 1 Response
Fake relationships lead to fake splits (and the perfect summer single)

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To drum up buzz for her single “7 Things” and its Brett Ratner-directed music video release, Disney starlet Miley Cyrus claims the song is about an ex-boyfriend who she wants “to be upset. That was my point. Maybe after my video we’ll hear from somebody, because it’s pretty honest.” Naturally, the finger pointing lands squarely on Jonas Brothers star Nick Jonas, as the two were said to have dated last year — but let’s not play pretend: the whole scenario was very likely a Mickey Mouse orchestrated set up to drive interest in their brands. And now that the two have “split” (just in time to promote the tour)? The perfect time for a “boys suck!” anthem!

Know what it’s also perfect time for? Speculating on another break up … between Miley an Disney.

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Jun 26, 2008 · Link · 6 Responses
Music math

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While we sort of expected to see another rant from Roger Friedman about the newest cover of TV Guide — still no Tim Russert, but plenty of reality TV stars — we were turned on by his rumormongering about who might be behind the anti-Madonna reports that have been popping up lately.

Friedman, as he so often does with the New York Post, is battling back against the paper’s report yesterday that concert ticket sales have been sluggish for her upcoming Sticky & Sweet tour. Though Madonna has racked up $74 million in sales for 13 European dates, the Post says “just over half of the 43,000 seats available for a Nov. 6 date at Los Angeles’ Dodger Stadium - 27,000 tickets in all - have been sold in their first three weeks of availability, raising red flags about the limits of US demand for the 49-year-old Madonna at this stage of her career.”

Worth mentioning: This is her first fourth tour with Live Nation but her first since signing a $120 million “360″ deal that covers all of Madonna’s recording, touring, and merchandising, though these mega-deals have also led to reports (also from the Post) of massive layoffs at the company to follow chairman Michael Cohl’s ouster.

But Friedman, a regular Madonna foe (don’t get him started on her Kabbalah), notes, “Dodger Stadium is the only venue Madonna hasn’t sold out. Of course, the show isn’t for five months. The fact that she’s sold half the stadium now for November is pretty darn impressive.”

So if that’s the case, and many of her shows are selling out in minutes (like her three dates at Madison Square Garden), how does the Post manage to print the headline “Madonna Sale$ Sag: Live Nation Defends Limp Response to Her U.S. Tour”?

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Jun 25, 2008 · Link · 13 Responses
Looking on the bright side

Around Jossip HQ, we’ve been having an informal debate about what will be this year’s Song of the Summer. For the past two years, Rihanna has (wo)manned the throne; in 2006, it was “S.O.S.,” and in 2007, she had “Umbrella.” We kinda liked N.E.R.D.’s “My Drive Thru,” though we’re concerned about its staying power. And then arrives this video: Shaq’s insta-classic Kobe Bryant rant, “Tell Me How My Ass Tastes,” remixed. A worthy contender if there ever was one.

Jun 25, 2008 · Link · 1 Response

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If you are among the last contestants to survive American Idol, one of two things will happen to you after the show wraps: You will make the morning show press rounds, announce a record deal with a major label, put out an album, win the Grammy for Best New Artist, and go on to a lifetime of fame and money; or you will make the morning show press rounds, announce a record deal with a major label, put out an album, watch sales stall at 200, and get dropped from your label. Guess which category Blake Lewis – who lost to Jordin Sparks – falls into?

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Jun 24, 2008 · Link · 4 Responses
What the f*ck's up with that?

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“The pragmatist wonders: Does a band with this profane a name even hope to be successful? The question applies to a glut of acts with similarly FCC-unfriendly names like Holy Fuck, the Fuck Buttons, the Fucking Ocean, Shit Robot, Shitdisco, Holy Shit, and Psychedelic Horseshit, all of whom have released very good records in the past two years, and some of whom are aptly named. At least two bands lay claim to one of the great movie band names, the profanely sacrilegious Shitty Beatles. (The movie is Wayne’s World.) These names aren’t controversial, per se, and few of these artists traffic in sounds that should truly offend. But they do raise a question: Does it matter anymore what you call yourself if you no longer rely on regulated forms of broadcast or mainstream media to get your name out there?”

Good question. So let’s ask one of the music industry’s most prolific troublemakers.

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Jun 24, 2008 · Link · Respond
Except Not Really

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Jessica Simpson’s venture into the world of country music has been successful thus far — if you believe the things you read in Us Weekly or hear on the radio. So just how successful is she? Well, just look at this “packed house” (yes, the interviewers actually called it that) of fans who came to see Jess in person. It’s amazing that no one was injured during the riot.

Video of the craziness, complete with Jess’s annoying baby voice and charming stories, after the jump.

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Jun 23, 2008 · Link · Respond

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And such is the life of celebrity DJs: Like the nightspots they spin at, their buzzworthiness has a short shelf life. Take DJ AM, who rocketed on the scene in 2003 when he was dating Nicole Richie. Since their split, he’s entertained himself with celebrity trysts that include Mandy Moore, but without a starlet on his arm, his demand has plummeted. Gone are the five-figure fees from clubs in NYC, LA, the Hamptons, and international destinations; instead, corporate gigs, like this week’s Palm Centro smartphone launch in out in Beverly Hills, are what’s paying the bills. But AM, real name Adam Goldstein, isn’t the outlier.

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Jun 23, 2008 · Link · 5 Responses

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After signing much-hyped nine-figure “360″ deals with Jay-Z and Madonna, to handle all their album sales, touring, and merchandising, concert promoter-cum-all things music industry company Live Nation faces the fallout: Chairman Michael Cohl is being pushed out. He’s negotiating the terms of his “resignation” now with CEO Michael Rapino. Not everybody thought lavishing more than a hundred million dollars on major artists was such a good idea, given the current industry climate.

Jun 20, 2008 · Link · 2 Responses
Dead Man Moonwalking

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Michael Jackson, 49, … is working on a new clothing line with Ed Hardy designer Christian Audigier. ‘It’s still in the developing stages, but it’s going to be big,’ an insider tells Life & Style. ‘This will be a major comeback for Michael.’”

The above is a lie, and it’s one we’ve heard before. By our calculations, ever since the release of his last reasonably solid record, 1991’s Dangerous, which moved over 14 million copies, Michael Jackson has been on the verge of a comeback 237,000 times; each one ushered in with all the theatrics of “Thriller” before sputtering out as quietly and wimpily as “The Girl Is Mine.”

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Jun 20, 2008 · Link · Respond

Snoop Dogg’s new “country” music video, an ode to Johnny Cash, is a team up with Willie Nelson. The song is called “My Medicine,” and you do not need to stretch your imagination to know what Snoop is referring to. Watch the video here.

Jun 20, 2008 · Link · Respond
How to move 1 million records in your first week

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Is Lil’ Wayne the record industry’s last hope? After 2005’s 50 Cent album release, The Massacre, you would’ve been hard pressed to find a record exec who would’ve predicted another album to move more than a million units in its first week. After all, since 50 Cent’s record three years ago, even grandmothers got broadband Internet in their homes and figured out how to use iTunes; things were supposed to get worse for the industry. And, while anyone from Sony to Bad Boy will tell you they have, Lil’ Wayne’s Tha Carter III, shipping just over 1 million copies in the first week since its June 10 debut, represents an anomaly.

So how come it was Lil’ Wayne, and not even the likes of world superstar and egomaniac Kanye West, who accomplished the impossible?

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Jun 19, 2008 · Link · Respond

Led Zeppelin’s song “Stairway to Heaven” has, through record sales and royalties, earned an estimated $572 million. If you believe this math.

Jun 16, 2008 · Link · Respond

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Depending on how you look at things, Amy Winehouse was either “loaded” by the $2 million cheque she received from Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich, to perform at the art gallery opening of 25-year-old girlfriend Dasha Zhukova, or she was “loaded” on drugs as she arrived in Moscow completely inebriated, so much so that organizers began scrambling to find another singer before deciding it was too late. Finally, Winehouse finally sipped enough Coca-Cola to lumber to the stage, though it was there she threw her lighter into the crowd and used non-verbal communication to share that she wasn’t wearing underwear.

And while it would be perfectly reasonable for Abramovich to be bitter over Winehouse’s antics after ponying up so much cash, the reason one hires a celebrity act to perform at an event is to generate press. And Ms. Winehouse certainly earned her fee in that regard.

To be fair, at least she wasn’t scheduled to go on at 2:45 a.m., then kept everyone waiting until 4:25 a.m. before taking the stage like some self-entitled acts.

Jun 16, 2008 · Link · Respond

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Unlike, say, Nine Inch Nails, which has embraced every facet of the Internet and exploited it to great reviews and returns, the band Metallica carries a reputation for hating the web. Not only did they single-handedly ruin Napster by suing it into obliteration (slight exaggeration?), but they have refused to put their music on iTunes, effectively ignoring an entire youth fan base that more than happily downloads their tracks on BitTorrent.

Now, with a new album out, it’s only appropriate that Metallica find a new reason to hate all those 1s and 0s floating around.

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Jun 11, 2008 · Link · 11 Responses

Times Square’s Virgin Records store will close, and the Union Square location isn’t far behind. [Fox]

Jun 9, 2008 · Link · 1 Response

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There have been those rumors about Michael Jackson taking up residency in Las Vegas, clearing tens of millions of dollars with a high-profile show a la Cher or Prince. But whether the gossip was simply made up or based in truth, the murmurs of a deal would always fizzle, owing in part to Jackson’s inability to be a reliable performer, thus shortchanging any possibility his act could be insured.

And now, Britney Spears. She’s been seen, very publicly, dining with George Maloof, the billionaire owner of, among other things, the Palms Resort & Casino in Las Vegas. All of which is helping fuel rumors that she is in talks for a Vegas house show, with sums of $10 million being floated around. [SBS]

Maloof, meanwhile, is also behind the insidious production of E!’s Living Lohan, a project that is less about celebrating a manager mama and her celebrity offspring than it is about promoting his corporate interests while ruining a Long Island family. His exploitation of Ms. Spears, then, shouldn’t be anything less.

[Photo: WENN]

May 22, 2008 · Link · Respond
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