Nicole Kidman, with child, was dumped this week as the face of Chanel [MC], though she still holds on to the Guinness record for earning the most money per minute, with her 30-second $3.71 million Chanel No. 5 advertisement. Replacing Kidman is someone 11 years her junior: the twenty-nine-year-old Audrey Tautou, who is French, like the fashion house, and an Oscar nominee, to her predecessor’s Oscar winner status. Tatou’s deal is rumored to be worth over $8 million [DM], which is nearly what Kidman’s standard $20 million movie price tag has been reduced to, thanks to The Stepford Wives, The Invasion, and The Interpreter.

Speaking of paparazzi becoming the story, a photographer from the agency Flynet found himself being attacked by Nicole Kidman’s bodyguard yesterday. (Warning: Expletives!) And like a good lensman, the camera was rolling the whole time.

The physical assault stemmed from an incident on Wednesday, when a fellow photographer was attacked by Nicole’s rambo-like trainer while the 53 year old photog was snapping Nicole and her trainer hiking. The trainer stole the guy’s camera which thankfully, was later returned.

Then on Thursday, our Flynet photog Jeremy and his 53 year old paparazzi friend were once again following Nicole Kidman and her bodyguard as they were making their way to the gym. The vehicle they were in stopped and the bodyguard stepped out, obviously in an agressive manner. Jeremy pulled out his video camera, hoping to quiz the bodyguard about the incident on Wednesday but as you can see from the clip, the bodyguard was in no mood to chat. Jeremy stepped back inside of his vehicle but that didn’t stop the bodyguard from attacking him anyway!

Afterwards, Nicole Kidman left along with her crazed bodyguard and Jeremy tried to follow them but eventually had to dial 911 because of his injuries. The police are currently investigating the incident. [Flynet]

Comments one website visitor: “Ha ha ha ha ha. You people are slime. You all deserve a beating. I am not a violent man, but I would break the legs of any papparazzo following me and ensure he never walked again.”

Cindy Adams reported on Tuesday that Nicole Kidman, inseminated with Keith Urban’s baby juice, ordered a white wine backstage at the Oscars. Cindy’s five-sentence item (where one of the sentences was simply “Oscars.”) was met with furor from Kidman’s rep Catherine Olim at powerhouse firm PMK/HBH, who issued a denial to, where else, Perez Hilton, even though “unlike most of the rest of the world” she “[tries] to ignore [Perez]” “because it is so nasty”: “But I have to tell you that Nicole Kidman most certainly did NOT drink white wine or any other alcoholic beverage backstage. She had water and lemon zinger tea. That’s it. I know, I was there with her I cannot remember that last time that Cindy Adams got anything right. She’s an idiot, and you can quote me.” Quoted and noted!

• Paris Hilton was awarded “Woman of the Year” by the Harvard Lampoon. In her speech, she said, “Harvard is so hot!” And smart. The “Woman of the Year” award has never garnered as much publicity.

• There’s a rumor that Shiloh Jolie-Pitt was the target of a kidnapping heist. We could make a joke about why the other kids weren’t targeted, but kidnapping isn’t a laughing matter.

• A Swedish group is auctioning off a swim suit Nicole Kidman accidentally left at a local pool to raise money to buy cows for families in India. This is all well-intentioned, but it seems like Kidman is being forced against her will to do charity.

• “Rachel Bilson Is Super Cute In Rome!” Do you ever stop and wonder why you read gossip blogs? She does look cute, though.

• Celebrity lips are the stuff of nightmares.

• Lourdes Ciccone Leon is all grown up. We remember when she was just an accessory in a Vanity Fair photo spread.

PRETEND When asked about Nicole Kidman’s pregnancy last night, Katie Holmes said, “I’m so happy for her. … It’s wonderful.” Let’s be real: best case scenario, Katie Holmes feels resigned indifference about her husband’s ex-wife’s pregnancy. [People]

BLIND ITEM NO MORE After dropping out of a movie, giving up botox and starring in a blind item, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are with officially with child and according to a statement are “thrilled.” Probably less than thrilled? Those two kids Tom and Nicole adopted all those years ago. Where are those guys? [People]

The Daily Telegraph last month thought they were being cheeky when they floated a story about Nicole Kidman, saying her endorsement deal with Chanel – to promote its Chanel No. 5 fragrance – was a farce, since she actually preferred the Jo Malone scent. Turns out, the $15 million cheque the designer label wrote to Kidman’s frozen face comes with litigious counsel!

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• For the second time this year, building management suspends a doorman for having bad breath. Hey, the tenants aren’t paying Upper East Side prices to deal with lesser borough unpleasantness like halitosis.

• This round up of MTV’s Return To Fat Camp reminds us that overweight people without even the pretense of a healthy body image should never be subject to a reality TV series and the judgment of voyeuristic strangers. That said, boy are those porkers fat.

• At least the Knicks can get along at funerals. Which is fitting, seeing as their hopes for a playoff birth died back in preseason.

• The Botox school of method acting earns Nicole Kidman rave reviews. Meanwhile, Kidman herself had no immediately discernible reaction to the news

• With New York weather this weekend expected to stay in the 30s, we’re kind of jealous of this hairy male model.

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• Nicole Kidman has totally supported her relapsing/philandering husband Keith Urban and stuck by him through his alleged extramarital dalliances and reported coke binges. Which isn’t to say it’s been easy. Says Kidman, “They say the first year of marriage is the hardest. Please, God!”

• Of all the guys in the world, Lindsay Lohan has decided to date the only person in the world who Paris Hilton truly loves, besides herself.

• Eva Mendes takes a stand against fur by reminding everyone she looks much better naked than you do.

• Keira Knightley poses topless on the cover of next month’s Interview magazine. Which is to say she stares coquettishly at the camera while covering up her tiny nipples with a thin, 1-inch wide suspender strap.

• Note to Amy Winehouse: It is, in fact, possible to use drugs recreationally without leaving the house shirtless, deranged or with cocaine still dripping from your nose. Just so you know.

• It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No wait, it’s just Christian Slater’s inordinately large/shiny forehead.

• Nicole Kidman’s children refuse to respect her authority.

• Come on, Steve-O. Everybody knows when you smoke weed out of a soda can, you gotta go with Coca Cola classic.

• Not sure what to get your grandparents for question? Just ask yourselves, “What would Tila Tequila do?” Then go ahead and do the exact opposite.

• Hey Katie Holmes: Salisha from Top Model called. She wants her annoyingly perky bob haircut back.

“NICOLE Kidman and Keith Urban are movin’ out. The couple have put their four-bedroom, five-bath home - which includes a gym, pool and spa - in a ritzy section of Nashville up for sale,” reports Page Six. Congrats on the big move, you two! We know just the right men for the job.

• In the midst of all the “Britney Goes Bonkers” and Lindsay Cokehands madness, Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams quietly and amicably decide they just weren’t ready for the responsibilities of a pretend-marriage.

• Find out what celebrities are really thinking about. And no, the answer’s not (always) “nothing.”

• Nicole Kidman admits to wanting a baby of her own ever since she was 17. Which is actually rather strange! Especially considering her initial choice of sperm donor.

• Anne Hathaway shows us why she glows in the dark.

• Class act Gisele Bundchen spends $1,000 buying luxury baby clothes passive aggressive baby “gifts” for her new boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend when a simple but straightforward “Suck it! He’s with me” card would have cost her only $2.99.

• Lil Kim misses her jail cell so much she just might come back and pay it a small visit.

In Nicole Kidman’s upcoming sci-fi thriller The Invasion Kidman plays “an ambitious working woman [who] had a really ugly divorce from her dark, narcissistic husband [who comes] back in her life with an ‘entourage of humorless, robotic friends.’”

Meanwhile, Kidman’s rep, Catherine Olim, dismissed the subtext-reading as “so silly,” while evil galactic overlord Xenu reportedly panned the movie for being “boring and predictable.”

[R&M]

• “Scientology is not homophobic in any way,” scoffs John Travolta. “In fact, it’s one of the more tolerant faiths. Anyone’s accepted,” says Travolta, who hastily added, “Well, as long as they’ve got money.”

• The countdown until the Libby pardon continues! Have you entered your office pool, yet?

• Nicole Kidman takes shelter under her umbrella, Ella. Ella. Ey, ey—oh, nevermind.

• No longer content to make crappy music in only one genre, Kelly Clarkson signs with a new, country music manager.

• Sir Elton John exhibits the typical, understated British civility.

• Isaiah Washington’s back in the news, and we don’t care.

• A friend swears OJ Simpson didn’t do it! The book, not the double homicide, obvi.

• Only Barry Bonds’ mistress knows the truth about those so-called “performance enhancing” drugs.

• John Stamos pulls a Paula Abdul, which is to say he slurs his way through a television interview then attributes it to being “jet-lagged.”

• Nintendo hires Nicole Kidman to demonstrate that even attractive people who’ve had lots of plastic surgery enjoy video games.

• Hugh Grant may be back together with heiress Jemima Khan, If so, he may or may not have popped the question, in which case Khan conceivably answered with either a “yes” or a “no.”

• If Al Gore was actually running for president, he’d never allow his daughter to have a Beverly Hills 90210 inspired wedding.

• Mary-Kate Olsen is taking time out of her busy not-eating schedule to play a Christian fundamentalist on Weeds.

• If you scratch Tom Friedman’s back, he’ll totally return the favor with a “reach-around.”

• Debbie Matenopoulos reminds us all why she was cast as the orignal “dumb blond” on The View.

• Nicole Kidman distracts her husband from his cocaine addiction by getting back in the saddles.

• NYT: “For the First Time, New York Links a Death to 9/11 Dust.” Fortunately, Jerry Falwell’s not around to attribute the blame to the Jews.

• TVNewser editor Brian Stelter graduates from college; fails to graduate from TVNewswer.

• Courtney Love is accused of not paying for her latest rehab stay. Meanwhile, Love is counterclaiming that you shouldn’t have to pay if you come out just as batshit insane as when you went in.

• Rita Cosby really is leaving! Officially, it’s to “pursue other interests,” which is just publicist speak for, “panicking until she finds her next job.”

• Eva Longoria and Tony Parker never go to bed angry. Even if he has a really, really big game the next day.

• Daylight savings is the new Y2K!

• Nicole Kidman to make a cameo on Nip/Tuck next season; preferably as another one of Christian’s crazy model/actress conquests.

• The NYT has two good reasons for you not to see 300: (a) It’s about as violent as Apocalypto and (b) it’s “twice as stupid.”

• Those damn movie trailers are so persuasive even we’re convinced Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is a drama

• The former treasurer at NBC Universal is arrested for allotting a suspiciously large percentage of the budget towards, well, himself.

• Tyra Banks talks about bulking up for her role as the increasingly irritating host of America’s Next Top Model.

• Check out the gold chain! Those chiseled abs! Josh Duhamel has gotta be the hottest guy this side of New Jersey!

• Special Olympics thanks American Idol for treating “special” contestants as nastily as everyone else.

• A bunch of Brooklyn idiots plan to race shopping carts on January 27th…and it’s not too late to join them.

• Not exactly sure why anyone would want to watch it, but here’s footage of Nicole Kidman mini-car crash caught on tape.

Yesterday, we reported that Brandy was involved in—and may well have caused—a car crash that resulted in another driver’s death. Now we’re hearing that Nicole Kidman was hospitalized after an automobile accident on the set of “The Invasion,” which she’s currently filming in downtown L.A.

Details are still somewhat murky, but here’s the initial report:

A Jaguar carrying the actress, her co-star, Jackson Bond and several crewmembers hit a pole and a garbage can after the driver towing the vehicle took a turn too quickly, witnesses tell Access.

Authorities confirm a non-paramedic fire crew was called out to the set at 6th Street and Broadway around 12:25AM for an on-set traffic accident. “All parties” were complaining of injuries, Police say.

Kidman walked away from the scene and was taken back to her on set trailer sources say. Shortly thereafter she was taken in a SUV to a hospital.

Given that Kidman walked away and wasn’t initially rushed to the hospital, we’re guessing (and hoping) that she’s alright. We’re still waiting to hear back definitively, however, as to her condition and that of her co-star and her fellow passengers.

For what it’s worth, however, we’d like to say that car crashes are serious business, no matter who’s behind the wheel. And if we sounded somewhat trite reporting Brandy’s involvement in an auto-related death, then we sincerely apologize. Because, frankly, this is one celebrity trend we hope gets nipped in the bud.

From People:

Just as we were about to give Nicole a ring and wish her a hearty, completely unsuperficial congratulations, we remembered, uh, this:

Earlier this year, Witherspoon surpassed Julia Roberts as the highest paid actress in Hollywood, commanding $29 million a movie, while Phillippe, 32, makes roughly $2.5 million a film.

$29 million is sort of the same as $17 million. Except not really.