On last night’s Countdown, Keith Olbermann named Rupert Murdoch his “Worst Person in the World” for the inside baseball decision of firing HarperCollins chief Jane Friedman, supposedly because she quashed the O.J. Simpson book and fired Judith Regan, despite Murdoch wanting the book out.
But maybe Friedman’s fate was sealed much earlier? Like, three years ago? When her ally Lachlan Murdoch, son of Rupert, left the company, and she had to begin reporting to COO Peter Chernin? And had to start meeting certain financial targets? Which would’ve meant layoffs? That Friedman would’ve had a problem with?
Memorabilia dealer Mike Gilbert claims in his new tell-all book that O.J. Simpson confessed to killing Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman when the ex-footballer was high on the maryjane, sleeping pills, and booze. Gilbert is also taking credit for suggesting O.J. “bloat his hands” so the leather gloves wouldn’t fit, though it’s unclear whether he also intends to take credit from Johnny Cochrane for “If the gloves don’t fit, you must acquit.”
The book, How I Helped O.J. Get Away With Murder: The Shocking Inside Story of Violence, Loyalty, Regret and Remorse, whose claims Simpson’s camp is refuting, is supposed to hit bookstores today. [AP]
So, let’s get this logic correct: When O.J. wants to write a fictional book confessing his sins, and profit from its sales, the publishing industry launches an uproar about padding the pockets of an alleged killer. But when one of O.J.’s ex-friends, who claims to have helped O.J. get away with murder, wants to do the same thing, major book retailers have no problem carrying it?
Four-time felon and O.J. Simpson setter-upper Thomas Riccio supposedly scored a cool $165,000 from TMZ.com in September in exchange for the audio tape of Simpson screaming at sports memorabilia collectors during that infamous spell in Las Vegas.
“While he initially sought $2 million, Riccio settled for the six-figure payout, which is still likely the largest sum paid by a gossip site for a story,” reports The Smoking Gun, which, like TMZ, is owned by Time Warner. “In its original report about the tape, TMZ stated that it had “obtained” the recordings, avoiding any mention that their procurement was secured by a $165,000 check delivered to Riccio’s Los Angeles home.
“Riccio signed a TMZ contract containing a confidentiality clause barring him from disclosing details of the financial transaction, presumably so that future “sources” don’t use the $165,000 payoff as a template in their negotiations with the site, which is co-owned by Time Warner’s AOL and Telepictures units. TMZ is apparently the only Time Warner entity that is allowed to pay for stories or tips (that corporate roster includes CNN, magazines like Time, People, and Sports Illustrated, and small outfits like The Smoking Gun).”
Heh. People doesn’t pay? Cute.
TMZ has previously denied to us that they ever pay for tips, but it is common practice to pay “license fees” for photos, videos, and, apparently, audio tapes. Between paying for baby photos and reimbursing its subjects for “location fees,” how else do you think Time Warner subsidiaries get scoops through their accountants’ books?
If the publishing industry is dying, it’s not for lacks of books about acquitted murderers.
Mike Gilbert, O.J. Simpson’s former sports agent, is penning a book subtly entitled How I Helped O. J. Get Away With Murder. The book will reveal Simpson’s late night confession to Gilbert and offer new evidence proving that Simpson did in fact do it. As if lack of evidence was the problem.
Lest you think publication of such a book is crass, don’t worry. A portion of the proceeds will go to the Make-a-Wish foundation. Our wish is for no more books about mid-90s murder trials.
• We forgive the Shins for the “changing over lives” since they recently sold songs for Zune and iPhone ads. Way to stick it to the man by selling out to him.
• Despite mountains of forensic evidence, O.J. Simpson pleads not guilty. Deja vu anyone?
• The Olsen twins business savvy goes beyond direct to rental videos. The asking price for their West Village condo is nearly triple what they originally bought it for. Meanwhile, our rent only increased $45 a month this year.
• Jake Gyllenhaal will star in a Joe Namath biopic. Reenacting the panty hose ad will surely squash any rumors about his sexuality.
• French Tennis player Richard Gasquet insists he’s not gay, even when nobody is asking.
• Miss Puerto Rico proves the real way to win a beauty pageant these days is to stage a controversy and appear on the Today Show.
O.J. Simpson learns the hard way that, when you deal with unethical criminal persons, you run the risk that they’ll eventually turn around and testify against you on the off chance that your tape-recorded, not very well executed armed robbery stint goes sour. Says (now former) friend-slash-accomplice Walter Alexander:
Out by the pool at the posh Palms resort a few hours before the alleged heist, “he asked me if I could watch his back,” after which “he leaned forward and it was kind of like, ‘Hey, do you think you can get some heat?’ ” Alexander testified. “‘Just in case things go wrong—just in case, you know, they may have heat, you know, can you bring some heat?’”
For those of you not in the know, “bring some heat” is tantamount to saying “bring a loaded firearm.” Which, unfortunately for the Juice, pokes a gaping hole in O.J.’s “Gun? What gun?” and “I’ve been framed! Again!” defenses.
It’s hard to find good scapegoats these days. After taking the fall for the O.J. Simpson book deal last year, Judith Regan is back with a $100 million defamation suit against News Corp.
In her case, Regan claims that HarperCollins told her to lie about her affair with Bernard K. Kerik, the former New York police commissioner. How Regan and Kerik got together remains a mystery, but conservative America is starting to seem like one big high school.
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• More surprising than the fact that Brooke Hogan lip-syncs? The fact that people actually showed up to watch her perform.
• Breaking: O.J. possibly didn’t do it! Sources say there’s a remote possibility Simpson didn’t even know about the gun used during the crazy Vegas robbery-slash-shitshow meltdown. Either that or he was totally set up by some racist cops.
• Bounty hunter continues to be racist, slanderous otherwise disagreeable.
• Former American Idol winner Carrie Underwood cleans up at the Country Music Awards, leaves Ruben Studdard to once again wonder exactly where he went so wrong.
• Super-sized grandmother attempts to seduce Enrique Iglesias with her humongous girdle.
The only person on this planet who truly doesn’t care what O.J. did, how he did it, and why he decided to write about it? That would be O.J. Simpson. Keep hitting the golf course, Juice! We hear you’ve got one hell of a swing. [Mollygood]
In the December issue of Harper’s Bazaar, ousted HarperCollins publisher Judith Regan magically reappears just in time to answer the question everybody wanted to know six months ago: What in the hell ever happened to Judith Regan? As it turns out, not very much. The “retired” editrix claims she’s tired of the public spotlight, desirous of a major lifestyle change and finally ready to come clean about her biggest regret, namely:
“Agreeing to reward a known murderer with a hefty book advance in exchange for his detailed how-to guide to committing double homicide.”
Kidding! Her much more boring answer: “… that I spent too much time in the office. I gave so much to my work, and honestly, it wasn’t worth it.”
Weird! We hear her former assistants (who are, coincidentally, all suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder) had the exact same regret!
No longer content with merely swiping O.J. Simpson’s Rolex, re-releasing his hypothetical confession out of spite, and leaving his fate up to the occasionally faulty American legal system, Fred Goldman has instructed his lawyers to look through his son’s murderer’s tax returns with a fine-toothed comb.
Because, as Mollygood puts it, “Besides tax authorities and golf resorts, the main party interested in Simpson’s income is Fred Goldman, the father of one of Simpson’s alleged murder victims, who strongly believes that bankrupting his son’s killer translates to justice.”
Where can you go from participating in the most important legal trial of the century? The legal figures from the O.J. Simpson case have all continued to make their profession proud.
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Sinbad, OJ Simpson and Dionne Warwick are on the California Franchise Tax Boards list of delinquent tax payers.
Hopefully the California Franchise Tax Board has also levied some fee on Sinbad for his role in the 1996 monstrosity First Kid.
• Foxy Brown pleads “not guilty” to pulling a Naomi Campbell.
• We’ve finally found somebody crazier than the “I Will Blow Your For Genesis Tickets” guy.
• Urban legends are sometimes real! A 7-foot python was found in the sewer pipes of a woman’s apartment.
• It’s hard out there for a pimp. Especially the one named Joe Francis.
• According to Wikipedia, O.J. Simpson leads the NFL in “most murders in a single season.” Sometimes, even when Wikipedia is wrong, it’s also kind of right.
• Rudy Giulani’s attempt to literally capitalize on 9/11 (by fundraising in increments of $9.11) fails so miserably he actually ends up barely breaking even.
If I Did It tops Bill Clinton’s book, Giving, on the NYT’s non-fiction best-sellers list. [Reuters]
If they were so desperate to root for a deadbeat dad, Matt Leinart would have been fine. [Deadspin]
Who knew that moments after posting bail O.J. Simpson would be stalked by a crazed E! online reporter seeking to chronicle EVERY SINGLE BORING DETAIL of his four hour and 20 minute plane ride (US Airways Flight 888!) from Las Vegas to Fort Lauderdale, FL.? According E!’s breaking news report:
O.J. purchased a $3 snack pack for himself (the pack included chips, salsa, fruit bar, chocolate bar, cheese and breadsticks) and a $5 chicken caesar sandwich for his girlfriend and paid for the meal with a $50 bill. O.J. drank Coca-Cola and ice water while in flight, while Christie drank a small $5 bottle of red wine.
Worse still? He actually sat in coach, where he reportedly fit in nicely with all the other homicidal maniacs.
• In an amazing pre-taped appearance on The Tyra Banks Show, a pre-scandal Vanessa Hudgens lectures Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan on tabloid avoidance, explaining “It’s easy to stay out of those situations. You just have to smart about your decisions.” Well, obviously!
• Meanwhile, OK! magazine continues to rain on Vanny’s parade by informing us that she and Zac Efron are no longer fake-dating.
• Watch out! According to this sign, there are “children playing while adults have lawnmower sex,” just ahead.
• Here it is! The first picture from the set of the superfluous Sex and the City movie, shown from a respectable distance so as to avoid an unnecessary close-up of Sarah Jessica Parker’s giant chin pimple.
• Jessica Alba makes bad movies, good wardrobe decisions.
• Fred Goldman continues to chase the black murderer of his son his white whale.
O.J. Simpson’s PR crime run has paid off. Beaufort Books is printing an additional 50,000 copies of If I Did It. The book is currently No. 2. on the Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.com.
Simpson faces a total of 11 charges, including kidnapping. If his “sting operation” defense works, it might be time for a new constitution.
• O.J. Simpson to face one of his greatest all-time fears, namely being tried and convicted of a crime—and sentenced to prison for up to 35 years.
• The Onion’s “Israelites Sue God For Breach Of Covenant” is supposed to be funny, but surprisingly, it turns out they’re right on the money.
• Meanwhile, devout followers testify in polygamist Warren Jeffs’ defense. His wives unanimously rally around him, except #7, who’s “on the fence.”
• Did Rihanna get plastic surgery? Well, the rumors certainly are rife. And something about those funbags says she ditched the umbrella and went under the knife.
• Vanessa Hudgens divulges a “secret” crush on Matt Damon and brags about her throngs of adoring fans while simultaneously refusing to answer questions about those racy pictures of her cans.
Editorial Director
