Already serving a sentence of 18 years to life in New York for the firefighter rape on Halloween in 2005, Peter Braunstein was treated to a quaint 23 year sentence in Ohio for his attack of a doctor there while running from authorities. Not that it's of any consequences to Braunstein: He plans to get himself murdered while behind bars. "It's not as far-fetched as you think. It will happen soon. Maybe as soon as Christmas. That's a pretty depressing time of year." Because Halloween is so much more joyous.

Congrats, New York Post. You get today's award for scraping together the least-needed, most-putrid story of the day. And you've got some stiff competition. So who do we have to thank for your delving back into the twisted mind of rapist Peter Braunstein?

The Post's Susannah Cahalan scores an "EXCLUSIVE!" interview with the jailed sicko (his first visit at the Clinton Correctional Facility since he arrived in August), who's adding to his creepiness factor by revealing he wishes he had killed ex-girlfriend Jane Larkworthy instead of torturing his Halloween night victim. Of the latter, he now says, "I wish I could have met her when I was normal. I think we could have been friends."

And then there's his wish to kill New York's Vanessa Grigoriadis, who wrote a story about him while he was on the run, as well a the entire Church of Scientology, and, of course, everyone's favorite fashion foe, Anna Wintour. Got that, St. Nick?

Where he'll have plenty of time to write in his journal about how Anna Wintour doesn't care enough about prison-issued couture.

• Problems at the Times' new offices include a leak coming from Bill Keller's office, toilets that "make catlike noises before they flush" and a "'big rat' scurrying around Metro editor Joe Sexton last week—'one so huge it made him turn pale.'”

• 'What if Conrad Black returns?' worries the Chicago Trib. Fortunately, that won't happen seeing as he's the Guiltiest Person Ever.

• Peter Braunstein to be sentenced today for acting out on that creepy faux-fireman/rape fetish.

• ABC's Charlie Gibson establishes a scholarship based on "compassion, honesty, fairness and trustworthiness," prompting undergraduate hopefuls to "lie their asses off" in droves.

As we already know, renegade WWD reporter/creepy faux-firefighter Peter Braunstein was recently convicted for torturing and sexually molesting a former co-worker, and for doing unspeakable things with a fireman's pole.

As we also know, Braunstein harbored delusions of killing Vogue's Anna Wintour, which&mto us, at least—seemed both humorous and disturbing, and sparked ingenious punchlines, such as "Braunstein admits to plotting death of Anna Wintour; jeopardizes basis for his insanity plea"*

And, as we learn today, Mr. Braunstein may not have been entirely responsible for his deviant sexual role-playing attack after all. Apparently, society's to blame! Which, according to the New York Times means, this wasn't a case of "Crazy Guy Tortures Virtual Stranger For No Reason" so much as it was the launching pad for "The Devil Wears Prada" defense.

Something strange happened in court during the Braunstein “fire fiend” trial. That was the moment when Anna Wintour’s name came up as someone Mr. Braunstein had fantasized about killing. It began to dawn on everyone, from spectators and reporters to, perhaps, the prosecution, that they were about to witness the first use in a high-profile criminal case of the “Devil Wears Prada” defense.

BONUS: Braunstein's crazy, grammatically inept diary entries are suddenly heart-wrenching cries for help, his incompetent lawyers are now innovative geniuses and author Lauren Weisberger is currently a prescient literati rather than an embittered—and unimaginative—former slave!

And, evidently, the more irrelevant literary and cultural references, the better.

CONTINUED »

• A jury of Peter Braunstein's peers rejected his mental insanity plea and convicted him on charges stemming from the 2005 Halloween attack. Jurors cited Braunstein's meticulous premeditation and overpowering urge to kill Vogue editrix Anna Wintour as evidence that he was, in fact, fit to stand trial.

• Meanwhile, attractive CNN wannabes are lining up in hopes of nabbing Paula Zahn's coveted anchor spot. But we're not ready to say goodbye to Paula yet. After all, who could predicted this?

• One year and 25 operations after being injured in Iraq, CBS news correspondent Kim Dozier is finally ready to tell her story. Which is both amazingly empowering and exceedingly difficult to turn into a punchline.

• The Today show's new "Today On The Trail" feature is remarkably similar to This Week with George Stephanopoulos' award-winning "On The Trail" feature. Then again, it's probably just an unfortunate coincidence.

• Scarlett Johansson channels Grace Kelly and Marilyn Monroe in the new Louis Vuitton campaign, reminds us that "curvy physique" is apparently synonymous to "Size two."

Just like Peter Braunstein, the Peter Braunstein firefighting rape trial gets crazier by the day! While last week it was revealed the former WWD scribe and current psychopath had a hankering to plunge Anna Wintour into the farthest reaches of hell, this week's proceedings showcased his intent to "lead a gang of angry displaced Hurricane Katrina survivors" to New Orleans. This, from Peter's psychologist, who says Peter dreamed up the stunt while running from authorities following that harrowed Halloween night in 2005.

CONTINUED »

"Because I just feel like it" is the reason firefighting rapist and former WWD run-around-town-er Peter Braunstein scrawled in his journal for wanting to kill Anna Wintour. The revelation – shared by hundreds of fashion designing hopefuls whose dreams the Vogue chief ruins every hour – was revealed yesterday during his trial, where the full details of his plot weren't unleashed, but his choice for what she would wear in hell ("tropical wear") was. But why the hatred? Because Anna wouldn't take his calls. To the journal!

When I was a media reporter, there were many high-profile editors, and God knows they had big egos, but you could still get them on the phone. … Remnick, Carter, Fuller, even Martha Stewart. But Wintour? She just never talked to peons like us."

And from Post reporter Laura Italiano's article: "Wintour did not return calls for comment yesterday."

Better keep an eye on that Italiano.

Oh Lordy. We're back on the Peter Braunstein track again? Seriously, we had forgotten this guy still had an actual trial to take part in and wasn't just planning on spending the rest of his life locked up at Rikers. But, innocent until proven guilty we guess, and Braunstein is now facing the New York Supreme Court and Judge James Yates.

Braunstein's dad showed, along with a small gathering of supporters and the whacko's lawyer was scolded for providing information that his client is totally nutjob to the press. Here's the mental picture of Braunstein you can draw if the idea of doing so doesn't frighten the absolute crap out of you:

He was unshaven and dressed in a grey t-shirt and cotton slacks, his graying hair cut close to his scalp. He appeared alert and attentive throughout the proceedings, despite being handcuffed and flanked by four armed court officers at all times.

We guess the neck wounds healed? Anywyas, as long as we don't have to see anymore footage of his weird "I'm famous! I'm on TV!" smiles, and his lawyers keep showing us brainscans to prove he has the mental capacity of a chicken on acid, we guess we can stand to continue reporting on the fire fiend.

Peter Braunstein Makes First Court Appearance; Trial Date Set [Eat the Press]

Breaking news from the Daily News! Peter Braunstein's a total psycho fuck. Doctors looked into his brain and saw the same thing we see when we look into Cindy Adams' crystal ball: nutso.

But it's what did the Riker's Island psychologist cited as the incident that finally put Braunstein over the edge that has us a bit intrigued/worried about our media reporter friends over there.

Kirwin said Braunstein's job as a media reporter at Women's Wear Daily helped push him over the edge.

"Working in the highly competitive, glitzy and sexually charged atmosphere of a celebrity-driven fashion periodical was an extremely toxic and unsuitable environment," Kirwin wrote in her report.

And the fact that Conde Nast (the most competitive, glitzy, and sexually charged towers of them all) owns WWD, we couldn't be more afraid.

Doc looks in Braunstein's brain, sees psycho [Helen Peterson, Daily News]

Aren't you guys just dying to know how Peter Braunstein is passing his time in Bellevue?

According to a most reliable source — another psych ward inmate — Braunstein wiles away the hours "bullying fellow inmates, ogling female staff and fondling himself in public." And chowing down.

William Allman, 64, spent three weeks with the accused fake-fireman attacker in Bellevue last month. He said Braunstein "hounds" others into giving up their food so he can stuff himself with extra bagels and muffins, turkey and Jell-o.

He also, allegedly, harassed a 75-year-old Chinese man, played checkers, and fondled himself under a newspaper.

On one occasion, he said, Braunstein fondled himself under a newspaper in a common room while gazing at a shapely corrections officer. "He was sitting with a newspaper on his lap and pretended like he was reading. But he was rubbing himself and staring at the officer.

So gross and sort of sad, right? But, really what else do you expect psych patients to do with the New York Times?

LIFE INSIDE WITH BULLYING & PERVING PETER [Brad Hamilton, New York Post]

You've got to really hate Judy Miller in order to find her more loathsome than Peter Braunstein. In a world where those New York Press staffers stand by their liberal ways, free press totally trumps sex offender in the worst of the fuck-ups category.

Others who made their top 50 most hated New Yorkers list (surely an honor for at least half the chosen ones) include politicians, neighborhoods, blogs, and members of the athletic community. (And everyone who Paper magazine has ever praised.) While we hate Kip's Bay, pointy shoes, and vegans, New York Press takes their bottled-up anger out on NYU, the Meatpacking District, and David Marvisi.

A few highlights from their hit list:

50) Former Press Edit Staff: "These guys walked out in the middle of a production cycle because they felt “censored” by not being allowed to show those ridiculous Danish cartoons of the Prophet Mohammed. This mountain-into-a-molehill gave them a semi-Warholian 13 minutes of fame, while we were left picking up the pieces."

42) David Marvisi: "The infamously underhanded former club-owner (Exit, Spa, Capitale, Estate) … Marvisi’s sleazy demeanor and shady business dealings still resonate today, leaving an indelible, if not original, mark on nightlife."

25) Meatpacking District: "From a district known solely for its abattoirs, anonymous gay sex and tranny hookers, the area around West 14th Street known collectively as the Gansevoort Market in the past few years has become one of those horrid “international destinations” so beloved of travel writers and—oh, ye oxymoron!—lifestyle journalists."

7) John Sexton: What’s worse than a bunch of over-educated, privileged crybaby Felicity wannabes? Their disciplinarian daddy, of course.

We agree, all of these people, places, and things do suck pretty bad. But we're a little worried about the level of anger one must get in touch with to conjure up all the things people hate about New York. From the 6 train on a Saturday to Chinatown everyday, it's pretty easy to go Ted Turner on ourselves.

Just chill, Pressers. Go get a drink from Sapa, or box of chocolates from City Bakery. And, should George Clooney stand in your way, you have our permission to totally take your anger out on him.

2006 SUPER-VILLAIN EDITION [New York Press]

Peter Braunstein's maniacal babbling continues. Police officers who drove him from Tenessee to ew York were wishing they had some tranquilizers to stab the suspect (or themselves) with.

Braunstein muttered on — he called his father a "media whore" and asked if the woman he assaulted, a former Women's Wear Daily co-worker, "has written her book yet … it is a symbol of a true victim when you get the book rights."

Yeah, we feel very releived that we have no idea what this psychopath is talking about.

Braunstein also told Manhattan Detectives Josh Ulan and John Savino that he couldn't believe he didn't die after stabbing himself in the neck, "because he did research and studied the carotid artery."

"Defendant stated that he bought the knife he used to stab himself in Greenwich Village … that it was a scary knife and that it had only one purpose [defendant made a fist with thrusting motion]."

Yes, that is strange … normally, as long as a knife is scary it should be able to kill you. Oh, yeah, and he thinks he looks like a "crazed Mexican" on his wanted picture. Crazy ass white boy.

Maniac's ravings [Barbara Ross and Adam Lisberg, NYDN]

Peter Braunstein tries to tell everyone that he's not guilty of the Halloween sex crimes, but we're all like: "so why'd you stab yourself in the neck, then?"

Luckily for Braunstein he has papa to foot the bill for his defense, in which his lawyers are "considering" pleading insanity. (What's the other choice? Pleading: "I'm the devil incarnate?") When reporters asked why Braunstein Sr. was supporting his crazy kid, and funding his defense, the response was, "He's my son."

Wow, that's deep. We really hope they get this sicko behind bars as quickly as possible, because the crazy photos look worse and worse by the minute. And we saw him half-smiling for the cameras on NY1 News this morning, and it really, really, really freaked us. Even more than those Nicole Richie skeletor photos.

Accused phony firefighter pleads not guilty to Halloween sex attack [Court TV]

We know that pregnant ladies can get a little crazy — especially ones who stick weird suction cups to their backs five times a week. But, sometimes the super famous take it to the next level.

As if wanting to name her baby "Capone" and giving birth in a fish tank weren't enough, Gwyneth Paltrow now thinks there is a ghost in her house. Even a rabbi from the hippest jew hang-out on the block may not be able to rid her home of it.

“Gwyneth believes that the dark energy that has dogged her lately is due to something dark and unexplained in her home…Her pregnancy is not as peaceful as her last one and she has also been upset by a stalker.”

Um, did anyone check to make sure Peter Braunstein is still locked up?

Who’s Gwyneth gonna call? Ghostbusters! [By Jeannette Walls, The Scoop]