Chaunce Hayden, the Steppin' Out editor whose name regularly appeared in Page Six until he found himself embroiled in a false report about a Bam Margera and Lynsi Smigo sex tape, is the center of this Radar profile, which lists his various past careers: male stripper, car washer, failed punk rocker, bartender, swimming pool digger. Hayden acknowledges that nobody actually reads his publication, which is littered around New York and New Jersey, which might be a growing concern because until lately, it's been his single entry into getting his gossip items, and his name, in the press. Then the Post banned him (Smigo has since filed a $10 million defamation suit against him and the paper); MSNBC blacklisted him after a he caused a commotion on Joe Scarborough's show; he's persona non grata at ABC, when he went on-air to report Diane Sawyer had just shushed him; and Howard Stern would like to see him dead after Hayden said, on ABC, that Stern should be looked at for insider trading for allegedly leaking details of his then-impending move to Sirius. Interesting, though, that Radar is reporting all of this. Not because the gossip industry isn't the pub's territory — it is — but because paragraphs like this:

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With all the top-level staff exits at Radar, one might conclude the magazine, now living its third life, is in danger of shutting down again. Except it's easier to whisk away those silly rumors by simply saying the magazine is moving in a new direction. [Portfolio]

In case it wasn't clear before, here's Radar magazine's editorial strategy: Find a pop culture trend that was hot and fully dissected by the press at least a full 12 months ago, then hire a clever illustrator to give it a fresh spin. Need the evidence of Maer Roshan's M.O.? It's below.

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Radar magazine continues its assault on the universe this week with another Spencer Pratt advice column. This time around, Spence counsels a young man who is suddenly on his own financially to find a rich girlfriend — which could be difficult, because he also advises to not buy drinks for girls.

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Tabloid refugee Spencer Pratt launches his new gig at Radar magazine today: advice columnist. He's answering your relationship questions, whether they involve what to do with your narcissistic girlfriend, who to make your narcissistic girlfriend jealous, and how to convince yourself you're not a D-lister simply because of your ties to your narcissistic girlfriend.

Question: I just started dating this guy who I really like. The other night, we went out and got hammered. I ended up passing out in his bed. When I woke up, I discovered that I had wet the bed. I was so embarrassed that I left while he was still asleep. If I call him, do I have to apologize or can I pretend it never happened? Or do I have to wait for him to call me?

After the jump, Spencer's answer that sounds like first-person experience.

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Yesterday we pondered whether, in signing Spencer Pratt as a columnist, Radar magazine was getting sucked into Pratt's press whoredom, or whether it was Radar looking for free circulation of a press release. The fact that there's an AP story about the new arrangement does little to answer the question.

Radar magazine just signed reality tard Spencer Pratt as its new advice columnist. The question begs: Which party is more desperate for publicity?

My entire life I've treated women right. I've learned from my parents how to treat a woman. I'm a Midwestern boy. My dad still holds my mom's hand and opens doors for her, and I think a woman should be treated that way. If a woman doesn't want to be treated that way, that's fine, it's her prerogative. But if she wants to be treated that way—with respect and with dignity—and she's not, then I guarantee you there's something that she's doing to prevent herself from being treated that way.

-Dr. Travis Stork, former Bachelor, "The Ladies' Man," Radar Online

Maer Roshan has gotta be pissed. After unleashing yet another Radar unto the masses – just to prove that he could, we're convinced – he loses out on the cover story's publicity to … Us Weekly.

Let us explain.

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Radar was hot on the trail of ABC News anchor Sam Donaldson (seen here with a friend) whose phone number had shown up in the outgoing calls of D.C. madame Deborah Jean Palfrey. So they "stupidly asked" BigHeadDC blogger and the magazine's semi-regular contributor Rob Capriccioso to investigate, based on his supposed existing relationship with Palfrey. Except all Palfrey had to say to Capriccioso was that she made a single call to Donaldson — to explain a phone call mix up, not to offer her services.

Not that it stopped Capriccioso's report. That Radar tried to kill.

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These days, it’s easy to get depressed. Women are routinely raped in the Congo, journalists have no morals and people cheat in online scrabble. Good thing Spencer Pratt is here to take our minds off of all that suffering.

In a new interview in Radar, he says,

The bottom line is I'm making people react and ultimately not think about that we are in a war in Iraq and are trying to pick leaders. The Hills is good breath for people. I do not take it a little bit seriously. I'm an entertainer.

Yeah, thinking about who should be our next president is a real downer. Too bad George Bush can’t stay in office forever.

But Spence’s strategy to get people not to think about their leaders will come in handy after his reality TV run ends:

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Sadly, Vanity Fair no longer has the monopoly on covers featuring megalomaniacal egotists clothed only in their overinflated sense of self-worth. [Folio]

The intrepid reporting team at Radar deserves a special shout-out for this revealing interview with Black Eyed Pea's resident poet in which lyricist will.i.am explains the nuanced meaning of the time-honored classic, "My Humps."

I always wondered what it must be like to be a girl, always gettin' pulled on. Maybe she's the smartest genius on the planet, but she's rackin' double Ds with a 26-inch waist and a big ol' ass and no one's ever gonna see her like that because that's the way the world is.

You know who else is the smartest genius on the planet? That rich motherfucker, will.i.am.

And now we interrupt you with a blind-item update. Thanks to an astute (and completely anonymous!) tipster we've added a late-breaking entry to the poll about the "struggling new glossy" who can't even afford to pay its outstanding photo bills.

In fact, it's so obvious, we're practically kicking ourselves for not immediately coming up with it ourselves.

"Radar [has] no mention of the story on their site," notes our source, "and aren't they supposed to be all media/celeb/gossip focused?"

They are, indeed!

So back to the polls, kids. Vote safely. Vote often. Vote…for Radar.

Earlier:
• Yo’ Magazine’s So Poor…It Just Bought An Imitation Of A Fake Rolex

PRWeek had a quick chat with outgoing Radar staffer and incoming Portfolio blogger Jeff Bercovici, who some might know this website has a history with.

PRWeek: Do you have any tips for PR people, or things that annoy you?

Bercovici: [...] And the other thing I would say is, inevitably with the kind of coverage that we do, people are going to get pissed at us. I accept that, but I also pride myself on being able to maintain good relationships with people, even when I might have an adversarial exchange with them. And I would just say if you're pissed, or if your client's pissed, let me know. Because I will go back and forth with you all day. I will talk it out and try to come to a resolution and an understanding for next time. But I can't do it if you don't let me know you're pissed. That's when relationships go bad, when someone just stops talking.

OMG, it's like the Berc is speaking right to us.