While flipping through New York Magazine last night under the table while saying mumbling "Baruch Atah Adonoi" along with the rest of the family, I noticed something a little bit…funky. Not that the magazine's 40th anniversary issue wasn't fantastic and full of pictures and charts and timelines and confirmation that NY's always been fucked up so don't worry about this whole Dow Jones mess, but I couldn't understand the how the editors picked some of their celebrities for their New York Actors segment:
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Right on the heels of the news that Candace Bushnell thinks she's the new Jane Austen and is in the process of writing a book of Carrie's teenage years we have news of a possible SATC sequel? (Although some overseas sources claim SJP nixed the idea.)
Down girl! Our collective cultural estrogen levels can't handle the pressure:
Sen. Jon Edwards isn't the only high-profiler to be accused of cheating by a tabloid. Today, Star firmly places Matthew Broderick, husband of future reality TV show franchise and mole-free Sarah Jessica Parker, in that section of the Venn Diagram. Supposedly a 25-year-old red headed lass is the object of Broderick's affection, and they began a tryst earlier this year after meeting at a bar, and continued things while SJP was shooting Sex and the City. That Broderick's mistress calls him "Matty Cakes" adds a whole layer of authenticity to the report.
What's a post-Sex and the City Sarah Jessica Parker to do? Go behind the camera and produce! She's been shopping around the reality series American Artist for a few months and, in Bravo, has finally found herself a buyer.
This is good news for Parker. And bad news for Bravo. CONTINUED »
Why she waited until after the Sex and the City series on HBO, and after the Sex and the City movie on the big screen, we'll never know. But Sarah Jessica Parker has gone ahead and done it, removing the most obnoxious thing about her: her chin mole. "Yes, she had the mole removed,” a source tells CelebTV.com. "It was not for medical reasons." This will do nothing, however, to end comparisons of Parker to horses. CONTINUED »
Ew, remember Failure to Launch, The Family Stone, and Smart People, those horrific Sarah Jessica Parker movies? The first took in $88m domestically, while the second grossed $60m, and the third, uh, just $10m. Not terrible sums (minus the last one), but definitely regrettable roles. Then along came Sex and the City, racketing up $134m so far and landing Parker back in the hearts of single gals everywhere. And now that Parker has found her stride again &mdash that is, resurrected the role that squarely put her on the map — it looks like she's going to stick with what she knows best in the near future. CONTINUED »
And girl is pissed.
SJP had 40 dresses selected for various Sex and the City premieres, and worse this Nina Ricci gown, designed by Olivier Theyskens, to the New York debut. She was assured it was the first time it had been worn by anyone in public. Except it wasn't. [OTR]
Last month, socialite and Vogue intern Lauren (Davis) Santo Domingo worse the dress to the Met ball. And Theyskens went with her. And there were photographs, as there often are at those type of things.
"What bothered Parker was that she felt she had been deceived by both Grauso and Theyskens, who met her in the studio and assured her that the dress had never been worn except for magazine shoots," writes Cathy Horyn. "Parker says she remarked to Theyskens during the fitting that she was surprised the dress hadn’t been worn before. He assured her it hadn’t."
And also: That Theyskens actually thought he'd get away with it.
Mario Grauso, the president of the fashion division at Puig, which owns Nina Ricci, tries explaining it away this way: CONTINUED »
With an estimated 85 percent female audience attending the Sex and the City opening – though the LAT helpfully notes "along with husbands and boyfriends, gay males are part of the show's fan base" – the movie beat most expectations for a record-setting $55.7 million opening weekend. (The "record-setting" part comes in when you apply that sum to openings for romantic comedies, where Sex beat 2005's Hitch, which earned $43.1m.) So congratulations, ladies.
But why is it, then, that this is the most exciting thing we've seen about the movie?: CONTINUED »
How do you get four feuding co-stars to appear in the same magazine when they don't even want to be in the same room with each other? Shoot four different covers!
That's the nefarious raison d'etre we're drawing for why Marie Claire chose to put each of the Sex and the City ladies, seen here pretending to get along, on their own cover for the magazine's July issue, which coincides with the movie's release. Life & Style says the ladies were all part of the same April 9 photoshoot, but only Sarah Jessica Parker's cover will be on newsstands — Cynthia Nixon, Kim Cattrall, and Kristin Davis' covers will be sent only to subscribers.
Which means even if you do subscribe to Marie Claire, you'll only be able to score one cover in your mailbox and the SJP edition on the newsstand, so expect a BOOMING black market on eBay!
GRUDGES AND THE CITY When Sarah Jessica Parker sits at a different table than her Sex and the City co-stars at a gala, does that symbolize she's feuding with Kim, Cynthia, and Kristin, or that she's simply more important? [R&M]
Sarah Jessica Parker is terribly upset Maxim named her one of the unsexiest women alive. (Just think about how Matthew Broderick feels: Ferris married an ugly!) How Cynthia Nixon escaped this trap is the real story though. [NYP]
• Amy Winehouse was hospitalized due to exhaustion and sleep deprivation? Weird! We always figured that early riser fell asleep just as soon as her head (and 4-feet of hair) hit the pillow.
• SJP launches a new fragrance while simultaneously auditioning for the part of "Sky" in the revival of American Gladiators.
• Director Brett Ratner gets all touchy-feely with The Hoff.
• Katharine McPhee's skirt is blowing out like a candle in the wind.
• Rose McGowan is, like, Knights of the Round Table hot.
With Sarah Jessica Parker's new collection, Bitten, set for release, fashion critics everywhere are praising the actress for designing chic clothes at affordable prices. Even the unforgiving fashionistas at the Daily News give Parker's new line the thumbs up, though they're also quick to remind us that SJP herself is none other than a walking faux pas.
Tonight, Sarah Jessica Parker and New York's fashion finest will celebrate the actress' new collection, Bitten, at a swanky party in Chelsea…
A better reason to celebrate: Nothing looks like anything SJP would ever wear.
Let's face it. No one really wants to look like Sarah Jessica Parker. The mutton-dressed-as-lamb styles that thrilled and shocked the country during "Sex and the City" never quite found their way into a normal woman's wardrobe. And all that chiffon and pouffy satin she wears on the red carpet? Smart, stylish New Yorkers stay far, far away from such over-the-top getups.
Ouch. In other words, the most redeeming quality of Sarah Jessica Parker's "Bitten" collection is the fact that it would never find its way into Parker's own closet.
Or at least that's what we think they're trying to say.
(We're still distracted by the phrase "mutton-dressed-as-lamb styles," and unsure of what "the flesh of fully grown sheep" has to do with fashion).
• Rose McGowan confuses "Cinema for AIDS" benefit with her "Slutty Mermaids Anonymous" meeting.
• Howard Stern admits to having twice contemplated suicide. Experts say his unequivocally annoying girlfriend, Beth Ostrosky, is to blame.
• Sarah Jessica Parker launches her new affordable clothing line, Bitten. Carrie Bradshaw would never have approved.
• Nicole Richie is surprisingly funny, surprisingly knowledgeable when it comes to the male erogenous zones.
• Matthew McConaughey shirtless, and rolling around in the sand. This time, it's for a movie!
• Jack Valenti, the longtime Hollywood lobbyist, dies at 85. His death will be mourned by everyone who knew him, and rejoiced by every teen who's ever been denied admittance to an R-rated movie.
• Two "major publications" (read: NYP and People) digitally obscured portions of the photo from the VT shootings. "Eh, that's nothing. I used to to pull that crap all the time!" says recently fired Blade photog, Allan Detrich.
• Say, remember when we suggested Rush Limbaugh might be the next Don Imus? Apparently, he was listening!
• ABC network exec, Andrea Wong, to take the reins at The Lifetime Channel. Her first goal? To make it "even more boring."
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• Sarah Jessica isn't making crappy bargain basement clothes; she's making fashion democracy!
• Obnoxiously loud celebrities and Charlie Sheen embrace 9/11 conspiracy theories.
• "The Diary of Anna Nicole Smith" sells for upwards of $500K. And she couldn't even read good!
• Jared Paul Stern sticks to his revenge guns, elects to sue the entire world over that whole nasty extortion episode.
• The debut of Apple TV makes us unreasonable angry with our Sony Vaio.
• Internet maestro Abbe Diaz launches members-only online club for people who identify as "the help."
• Lindsay Lohan pulls an accidental Lizzie Grubman, backs her gigantic car over an opportunistic shutterbug who you just know has "1-800-I-N-N-O-C-E-N-T" on his speed dial.
• Jennifer Aniston contemplates a return to NYC. Now, who wants to gently break the news that "Central Perk" doesn't actually exist?
• Second-tier fashion designer Anand Jon has been arrested/charged with rape. Marc Jacobs would care, but he's too busy rehabbing with much more famous and important people.
• Sarah Jessica Parker's new fashion line will be cheaper than H&M! Guess it wasn't Olsen-inspired after all…
• Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson continue to sleep together without ever actually dating.
• Meanwhile, Jessica Simpson loves dogs so much she wants to adopt a child. Wait, what?
It's not that we plan on bumrushing Indochine today to get a look at Sarah Jessica Parker's super secret fashion line – or to sneak a peak at which second-tier editors are forced to attend the grand unveiling – but we took a particular interest in Mrs. Matthew Broderick's Bitton collection because of what it's being compared to.
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• The King of Page Six, Richard Johnson, attributes his gossip super-stardom to marrying a hottie and punching Village Voice columnists in the face.
• The obligatory Anna Nicole Smith update includes the number of meds in her system at the time of death (ten) and reports that her mom abhors Howard K. Stern.
• Vince shows up for Jen's bday bash. Must mean they're doing it again. Or else he wanted to see her new nose.
• Lindsay Lohan proves she's serious about turning her life around by buying the former pad of suicidal pin-up girl Marilyn Monroe.
• Sarah Jessica Parker may not still have her original nose but she definitely hasn't surgically altered those catcher's mitts hands of hers.
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Da Silvano is, by now, a New York staple of sorts. A place where celebs, socialites, media elites, and restaurateurs meet for dinner before hitting Dowtown Cipriani's for cocktails. Yet, none of that means a thing to New York Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni. Tom Hanks, Danny DeVito, and Madonna have all sung the restaurant's praises — but Bruni is standing his ground, knocking the famed eatery down from Ruth Reichl's assignment of two stars to a measly one.
“Bravo!” proclaimed Mr. Hanks. (His exclamation point, not mine.) “Bellissimo!” raved Mr. DeVito. (Again, his exclamation point.) Madonna, in a less exclamatory mood, said, “Yummy yummy.” She’s always been such an eloquent lyricist.
Celebrities love Da Silvano. Many regular folks love Da Silvano. Even some self-regarding gastronomes whose opinions I respect love Da Silvano, and I have to wonder if any of them has had anything like the chicken liver crostini I sampled on the first of several recent visits. They tasted like pet food — or, rather, how I imagine it would taste.
Pet food? Ouch. Luky for Da Silvano, they've given Sarah Jessica Parker a shit ton of free meals.
Sarah Jessica Parker, who once scribbled her “love” of the food, stood by that statement, saying in an e-mail message that she used to go there weekly and order artichokes, linguine with clams (“never grew bored” of it, she said) and whatever pasta was being served with seasonal truffles.
So Bruni went back, tried her suggestion, and thought it was lovely. And the waiter didn't even call him disgusting that time. Still, even SJP can't sway the Bruni — the one lonely star stays. Among the likes of Tom Hanks and Madonna, but still.
To Be Seen, and Perhaps to Eat [Frank Bruni, New York Times]
Editorial Director
