
Without Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan’s daily antics, it’s fallen on Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt to fill the gossip blogs and tabloid covers. And they’ve more than made themselves available. “We’re always the juicier story,” Spencer tells the LAT. “And when Heidi and Spencer are gossip machines, it’s like, ‘What did Heidi and Spencer do?’”
This is the stock of celebrity we’ve allowed ourselves to settle for, and they’re cleaning up; $50,000 each for hosting a party here, $15,000 for posing for “paparazzi” photos there. CONTINUED »
In what will truly be the worst hour in the history of television, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are set to appear on Tuesday’s episode of The Tyra Banks Show. And, because they don’t know how to discuss anything else, the topic of conversation is Lauren Conrad.
Spencer offers to take a lie detector test and claims he is “1,000 percent” positive that a sex tape featuring Lauren and ex-boyfriend Jason Wahler exists. Did we suddenly travel back in time to one year ago?
Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt did end up attending the White House Correspondents Dinner, even after turning down MSNBC’s invite, an invite they denied ever extending. (They were the invited guests of Fortune.) Except Heidi committed the ultimate faux pas. No, she didn’t flip-flop on her John McCain endorsement — she wore the same outfit she sported for an event just a week earlier.
AGAINST ALL ODDS Spencer Pratt says he is 100 percent sure that a Lauren Conrad sex tape existed, despite her denials and the awkward segments on The Hills where she alludes to why she’s not friends with Heidi Montag anymore. Sadly, this news comes on The Tyra Banks Show and is only relayed by Us Weekly, who Spencer supposedly inked a deal with. [Us]
While ABC News is bringing Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, Ashlee Simpson, and Pete Wentz as its guests to the White House Correspondents Dinner on Saturday, MSNBC thought it was bringing Us Weekly conspirator Heidi Montag. That was until Montag’s boyfriend and manager Spencer Pratt demanded a pair of first class plane tickets for their travel. MSNBC refused, though they claim to have never invited Montag; “We are not having, nor did we invite, any celebrities to sit at our table.” One Montag source says, “It wasn’t ‘A-listy’ enough.” Huh. Because in addition to ABC’s roster, Donatella Versace, Rupert Everett, Pam Anderson, Jeff Koons, Kerry Washington, Karl Rove, Mark Penn, Hayden Panettierre, John Cusack, Claire Danes, Rob Lowe, Marcia Cross, Tracey Ullman all didn’t think the event was below them.
Which weekly glossy just signed a mega-million-dollar contract with a certain annoying celebrity couple? The deal is the magazine will get exclusive interviews with the couple, but in turn they need to break up (again), get back together (again) and actually get married.
Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are said to be working over MTV for their own Newlyweds-esque show. Fiance and manager Pratt wants the world to see the real Heidi primadonna that she is, not the contrived one she acts like for the cameras. [P6]
Radar magazine continues its assault on the universe this week with another Spencer Pratt advice column. This time around, Spence counsels a young man who is suddenly on his own financially to find a rich girlfriend — which could be difficult, because he also advises to not buy drinks for girls.

Like everything Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt related, news that they’re relationship is on the rocks this week is a perfect opportunity to plug the two different Las Vegas hotels they’re staying at: She’s at the newly opened Palazzo and he’s at the Hard Rock.
Stay tuned for a list of every vodka brand they imbibe and every store and restaurant they visit.
Oh wait, too late: People mentions they dined at Dos Caminos and CUT Steakhouse.
Tabloid refugee Spencer Pratt launches his new gig at Radar magazine today: advice columnist. He’s answering your relationship questions, whether they involve what to do with your narcissistic girlfriend, who to make your narcissistic girlfriend jealous, and how to convince yourself you’re not a D-lister simply because of your ties to your narcissistic girlfriend.
Question: I just started dating this guy who I really like. The other night, we went out and got hammered. I ended up passing out in his bed. When I woke up, I discovered that I had wet the bed. I was so embarrassed that I left while he was still asleep. If I call him, do I have to apologize or can I pretend it never happened? Or do I have to wait for him to call me?
After the jump, Spencer’s answer that sounds like first-person experience. CONTINUED »
Who’s surprised to find these “candid” Pacific Coast News shots of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt spending Easter with her neice pop up on Us Weekly? It’s as if they had no idea the photographers would be there … when they phoned them in. [Us]
Yesterday we pondered whether, in signing Spencer Pratt as a columnist, Radar magazine was getting sucked into Pratt’s press whoredom, or whether it was Radar looking for free circulation of a press release. The fact that there’s an AP story about the new arrangement does little to answer the question.
Radar magazine just signed reality tard Spencer Pratt as its new advice columnist. The question begs: Which party is more desperate for publicity?

• Kirstie Alley is “stepping down” as the spokesperson for Jenny Craig. Fatties are so self-hating.
• Based on her topless photo spread, rumors that Lindsay Lohan had breast implants were false.
• Okay, Elisha Cuthbert, this is the last time we’re writing about you until you make out with another chick. Going to first base with Paris Hilton only takes you so far.
• That’s cute: Spencer Pratt thinks he important enough to have a feud with Madonna.
• Ah! Our boss man is coming back from Amsterdam.
• Girl kisses, the Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson edition.
[Photo]

Us Weekly co-conspirator Heidi Montag pops up on this week’s cover, albeit in a small box, to share her reaction to the horror that was her music video. Though the video, shot by sorta-boyfriend Spencer Pratt, made it to No. 7 on iTunes, Montag says the brutal reviews brought her to tears. CONTINUED »

Our daily attempt to help you seem smart, even if you’re not.
collegium \kuh-LEG-ee-um\ noun
: a group in which each member has approximately equal power and authority
Heidi and Spencer never felt like they were in a collegium with Lauren because as the narrator, she has more power over the show.
[Photos]
• Heidi and Spencer really believer her post-USSR “Higher” video was great art. This is what MTV does to the kids.
• The polls say that Jews don’t like Obama. How could that be? The media loves him. CONTINUED »
NO ALARMS AND NO SURPRISES On Super Bowl weekend, Sunday Styles is bereft of its happy couples from Ivy League colleges and/or schools that cost as much Ivy League ones, and must turn to trends. The latest: celebrities living it up in Vegas, where they given freedom to pimp themselves on their own terms. “In Vegas, I don’t have to worry about photographers waiting outside my house every day because they can’t wait outside my hotel room,” Spencer Pratt says. His girlfriend, Heidi Montag’s thoughts on the matter, or any matter whatsoever? Silence. [NYT]

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt might be running the most lucrative faux celebrity relationship in Hollywood. Not only are they said to be pocketing cash for cooperating with photo agencies like Pacific Coast News, but we’re also hearing they’re under the sheets with the celebrity weeklies.
A tabloid operative with direct knowledge of the situation insists Us Weekly paid the couple a “HUGE fee, around $15,000″ in exchange for shooting them for the “Why I Called Off My Wedding” cover story.
It’s on the books as a “location fee,” we’re told, which would allow Us to hold up its public persona of not paying for stories or access, while getting the shoot through accounting’s spreadsheets.
An Us Weekly top editor, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, flatly denies the charge: “No, we didn’t” pay, says the staffer. “Make-up was taken care of by us,” but there weren’t even any travel incidentals to pay for, since “I think we shot at his house.”
Which is true; the photos were taken at Spencer’s house in the Palisades. (Wenner’s money managers might be wise, then, to question any such “location fee.”) And it’s also a little perplexing that any magazine would have to pay to shoot Heidi and Spencer — those two will sell their first through fifth born for a cover, or even a quarter-second of footage on a VH1 countdown show. But that’s the rub.

Is Pacific Coast News just the latest paparazzi agency to be fingered for colluding with celebrities? We’re hearing very good information that the agency cut a deal with The Hills‘ Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. PCN gets access the couple, staged shots, and thus a leg up in selling their photos to tabloids, while Heidi and Spencer get to be seen in positive light. Oh, and pad their pockets with a cut of the revenues.
A PCN exec we reached out to hasn’t returned comment, but one knowledgeable source also says PCN had a similar financial arrangement with cash-starved Brandon Davis, who would ensure shots of him and Mischa Barton were captured by the agency’s photogs. (So the rumor goes, Brandon began running out of photo-worthy activities with Mischa. Thus, there’s a pic of them playing croquet.) Mischa, who was once thought to be just a pawn in Brandon’s photo escapades, is now said to be in on the deal herself; following her DUI arrest, a tearful Mischa walking her dogs in Greystone Park appeared, credited to PCN.
PCN has also acknowledged to industry sources we spoke with that they have a “business relationship” with Spencer, but didn’t elaborate. Heidi has been overheard talking about her own deal with “Matt at PCN” to shoot her exclusively.
So how much do these photos enrich this unnerving reality twosome? A two-page spread inside a celeb weekly can snag “at least” $5,000 gross, according to one paparazzi source, but the percentage Heidi and Spencer take home isn’t known. But their lengthy photospread on UsMagazine.com, as exhibited here in a PCN photo, probably paid for a teeth whitening or two.
Of course, none of this is entirely “news,” as most photo agencies secure exclusive or semi-exclusive relationships with any number of celebs and reality starlets. Not that standard industry practices aren’t worthy of our attention, of course.



