Just how serious is Shannon Doherty about reprising her role Brenda Walsh on The CW’s new 90210? So serious that she’s “currently” “engaged” in “formal” “talks” about doing so! She just needs to make sure producers have a plotline figured out for whatever comes after the teen sex, teen drugs, teen sex with drugs storylines wear out. [EW]

We would love nothing more in life, besides an air conditioning system that worked outdoors and followed us where we walked, than a Gossip Girl spin-off. And it appears producers at Alloy Entertainment, which owns more of tweenage culture than you could ever imagine, are following the wise path of shows like The Office, which understand how hard it is to get a new program, with unfamiliar characters, off the ground with so many competing series premiering. So it’s the brand extension route they’re taking, and for Gossip Girl, it’ll likely hinge on little Jenny Humphrey, sister of Dan, who heads off to boarding school to reinvent herself as the popular girl. “In the books, a series of public embarrassments (such as appearing in a teen magazine wearing next to nothing) results in Humphrey having to either repeat ninth grade or find a new school.” [THR]

Only problem: Gossip Girl isn’t exactly drawing stellar ratings, and it’s home, The CW network, already has a slew of shows targeting similar audiences: The new 90210, as well as the brooding One Tree Hill. So while The CW, which is co-owned by Gossip co-producers Warner Bros., has a right of first refusal for the spin-off, it could very well turn down the new show. Which means Alloy would have to shop it elsewhere. Which is fine, our TiVo will know where to find it. Just don’t put a dagger through our heart and let it end up on Lifetime.

Update: This might all be false.

Is this a sign of things to come for The CW? The ratings-desperate network, which carries such high-brow fare as Gossip Girl and America’s Next Top Model, has disappeared from a northwest corner of Washington State. That’s because the local affiliate in Yakima (about 140 miles southeast of Seattle), KCWK-TV, has declared bankruptcy and gone off-air. [Y-K] Some customers, however, needn’t fret: Cable and satellite subscribers can still get their Tyra fix, and the channel may return when the FCC mandate for all-digital broadcasts kicks in. And had The CW not yanked its most popular show off its website, this wouldn’t really be a problem now, would it?

Sure, The CW’s ratings may have lost 28 percent of its 18-34-YO demographic, but it’s not not the network is sitting idly by and letting Gossip Girl walk to the plank into obliteration. They already turned off episode streaming on their website, and now they’re trying a new gimmick: If you watch the show live, you’ll have a chance to win swag!

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Despite our excitement about Elle’s The CW reality show Stylista, and fashion news director Anne Slowey playing the evil villainess, our behind-the-scenes spies are painting a less entertaining picture. At least for those working on the show.

As Jossip was the first to tell you last month, staffers have been roped into participating in the series unwillingly, being forced to ditch weekend plans to attend tapings at the show’s faux office.

Now we’re hearing two senior editors, Joann Pailey and Kate Lanphear, were blatantly lied to about their involvement on the show, originally being told they’d be extras, which they begrudgingly allowed, and then bait-and-switched into prominent roles as judges. “Both were completely humiliated and wanted nothing to do with it but were basically lied to by the powers that be,” says an insider.

As for the overdramatic Slowey? “Where do you start,” says our source.

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Picking up from last week: The CW “has lost about 28 percent of its target audience of 18 to 34 year olds so far this season. Its ratings during this month’s ’sweeps’ period — the all-important measure upon which future advertising rates are set — are down about 22 percent.” That is, um, very bad news.

It’s also a chance for the network’s brass to deflect accusations that its numbers are pitiful. Rather, it’s the guys creating those numbers that have things wrong. Yes, when the reports are bad, blame Nielsen. We do!

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The CW’s ratings are down 28 percent this season! During sweeps, viewership dropped 22 percent! Even with Gossip Girl’s buzz, the young people network is at risk of folding, say TV experts who are paid to have an opinion about these sorts of things. If things don’t pick up by next season, one of the partners – Time Warner/Warner Bros. or CBS/UPN – is expected to pull out, collapsing the network. [WSJ] So why does a network that had promise – courting the young demographic that advertisers love – face such an uphill battle?

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It’s a poorly kept secret that networks like CNBC make much of their cash from trafficking in infomercials, selling weekend and early morning timeslots to debt reduction services and work-from-home come-ons. Now The CW, which is struggling for ratings, even for Gossip Girl, plans to do something similar on Sunday nights for a 3-hour block beginning at 7pm. But rather than slap a few 30-minute ad spots on the air, instead the network is selling the programming block to a media buyer, who will be the one responsible for developing programming and selling ad time. [Variety] (UPN actually just did this with WWE Smackdown, selling the time to World Wrestling Entertainment as an ad buy, not a programming license. And the morning hours on broadcast networks are usually sold off in chunks.) That this is taking place during primetime is a relatively new phenomenon, and since they haven’t yet named the buyer, may we suggest someone who will stuff it with all those cutesy viral videos?

Hey? Internet tards and Gossip Girl fanatics? Did you know that the phrase “OMFG,” Internet slang for exactly what you think it is, is actually “an expression of surprise” and could mean “Oh My Frickin’ Goodness”? That’s what The CW marketing vice prez Rick Haskins tries convincing one cynical CNN anchor. Video here (via).

This image is not the life support monitor for Patrick Swayze, all though by the looks of his chain smoking and the way this graph is steering, it might as well be. Rather, it’s a chart of network television ratings for this season vs. last season. Some obvious highlights: The CW is nearly off the charts, in a very bad way; for all its awesome new shows, ABC is dragging; American Idol cannot support the entire Fox channel; and NBC, once the top network and then suddenly the No. 4 loser, is the only channel showing gains.

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The CW network spent a fortune promoting the return of Gossip Girl with that OMFG campaign and, unintentionally, with actress Kelly Rutherford’s plot spoiler. So how come their latest ploy – a contest giveaway with Us Weekly – is the most obvious low-budget effort ever?

In exchange for your name, address, and email, you have a chance to win a tote bag and mirrored compact courtesy of the CW network. Yes, THAT IS ALL.

The success of Gossip Girl’s “OMFG” campaign and other buzz-making efforts have proven too successful, driving so much traffic to The CW’s website that hundreds of thousands of people have been watching free streams of the show … WHICH WAS THE WHOLE POINT OF ALL THIS.

Now the network everybody talked about behind its back is shutting down the web streams over fears they’re cannabilizing the show’s television audience. And since the target demographic of young people are so Internet savvy, The CW thinks they’re becoming too lazy to bother catching the show in primetime, where ad dollars are much more grand, and instead growing accustomed to catching the show on the Information Superhighway, which nobody has figured out how to monetize.

Perhaps you’ve seen the homepage takeover for Gossip Girl … that you’re staring at right now? Turns out, it’s sort of racy! Because The CW’s marketing team decided to add the “F” in the common Internet slang “OMG,” the message when from “Oh My God” to “Oh My Fucking God,” which is dicey! That means family-friendly media rejected the campaign: Entertainment Weekly, In Touch, Soap Opera Digest, TV Guide, and People all said no to the “OMFG” version, even though all of these magazines, perhaps with the exception of Digest, have talked about Heidi Montag at one time or another, and what’s more offensive to readers than that? No matter: The CW had campaign spots ready to go sans the “F,” which was deemed more acceptable. Not for us, of course.

Upset that its TV network merger with UPN is paying off with dismal ratings for The CW, Warner Bros. now hopes by dumping its library of old hit shows on WB.com, it’ll dye some of that red ink black. It could also signal the studio’s readiness, should The CW fold, to launch a younger-skewing standalone WB network. Like it already had. You know, B.G.G.: Before Gossip Girl. [Mediaweek]

Although Elle always had “no comment” for us when we asked them to confirm they were working on a TV project aside from Nina Garcia’s involvement in Project Runway, it’s clear they’ve finally found a skein to latch on to.

As we were the first to report in December, Elle EIC Robbie Myers and creative director Joe Zee were running around town meeting with various TV outfits, including Ugly Betty and America’s Next Top Model.

Now it seems Myers’ minions have sealed a deal with the latter, with Zee and Anne Slowey signing on to a Tyra Banks-Ken Mok-produced project for The CW that’s billed as The Devil Wears Prada meets The Assistants. Rumor has it, the show will be called Fashionista, with the contestants all gunning for the grand prize of a gig at Elle.

FOLLOW THE MONEY The CW joins NBC in giving cash back to advertisers who didn’t receive the audience figures they were promised. Actually, it turns out The CW began rebates before NBC, but you know how proud those peacocks are.