When Lindsay Lohan starts downing shots of tequila with The Hills‘ Lauren Conrad, it’s hard to tell who’s social standing sank. [R&M]
Somehow the travails of Buzz Bissinger v. Will Leitch, Jared Paul Stern v. Ron Burkle, Page Six v. Vanessa Grigoriadis, Cathy Horyn v. Giorgio Armani, Dale Peck v. Rick Moody, and Leonard Wieseltier v. Andrew Sullivan get boiled down to what’s going on between Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag: CONTINUED »
END OF DAYS The Hills has been renewed for a fourth, 19-episode season of fictionalized drama. [Us]
In what will truly be the worst hour in the history of television, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are set to appear on Tuesday’s episode of The Tyra Banks Show. And, because they don’t know how to discuss anything else, the topic of conversation is Lauren Conrad.
Spencer offers to take a lie detector test and claims he is “1,000 percent” positive that a sex tape featuring Lauren and ex-boyfriend Jason Wahler exists. Did we suddenly travel back in time to one year ago?
AGAINST ALL ODDS Spencer Pratt says he is 100 percent sure that a Lauren Conrad sex tape existed, despite her denials and the awkward segments on The Hills where she alludes to why she’s not friends with Heidi Montag anymore. Sadly, this news comes on The Tyra Banks Show and is only relayed by Us Weekly, who Spencer supposedly inked a deal with. [Us]
While ABC News is bringing Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, Ashlee Simpson, and Pete Wentz as its guests to the White House Correspondents Dinner on Saturday, MSNBC thought it was bringing Us Weekly conspirator Heidi Montag. That was until Montag’s boyfriend and manager Spencer Pratt demanded a pair of first class plane tickets for their travel. MSNBC refused, though they claim to have never invited Montag; “We are not having, nor did we invite, any celebrities to sit at our table.” One Montag source says, “It wasn’t ‘A-listy’ enough.” Huh. Because in addition to ABC’s roster, Donatella Versace, Rupert Everett, Pam Anderson, Jeff Koons, Kerry Washington, Karl Rove, Mark Penn, Hayden Panettierre, John Cusack, Claire Danes, Rob Lowe, Marcia Cross, Tracey Ullman all didn’t think the event was below them.
I’ll come right out and admit it: My hatred for Heidi Montag knows no bounds. Out of any reality TV character — even Spencer Pratt — she is by far the most vile human being I have ever witnessed, what with her absolute disregard for reality and her lame attempts at rewriting history. Things hit rock bottom the other night, when my roommate had to sit and listen to my hour-long diatribe detailing how happy I would be if Heidi were to get hit by a bus.
Heavy.com’s Jimmy Jellinek writes in to refute our claim that old people really aren’t too angry about its web series Over The Hills. Read the update.
Like everything Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt related, news that they’re relationship is on the rocks this week is a perfect opportunity to plug the two different Las Vegas hotels they’re staying at: She’s at the newly opened Palazzo and he’s at the Hard Rock.
Stay tuned for a list of every vodka brand they imbibe and every store and restaurant they visit.
Oh wait, too late: People mentions they dined at Dos Caminos and CUT Steakhouse.
Kudos to former Maxim editor Jimmy Jellinek for inventing a press-worthy controversy that doesn’t exist. Jellinek, who’s helming Heavy.com these days, needs to promote the hell out of Over The Hills, a web series that reenacts The Hills word-for-word, but stars old folks. So far, he’s already got plenty of people writing about it, but how better to extend his free publicity run than to get Rush & Molloy to claim “senior citizen watch groups are attacking Heavy.com” and then refuting the accusation himself, saying, “We’re doing the senior community a service by making them sound hip. Grandpa Spencer drank me under the table at Les Deux, then tried to kick my a-. He’s a stud. No way we’re stereotyping senior citizens.”
No watchdog group we could find has made any sort of statement about the series. But then again, the elderly don’t know how to use computers.
Update: Jellinek writes in to say Heavy.com has, in fact, been receiving emails from senior citizens, but not, to our knowledge, senior citizen “watch groups.” He sent us a copy of one, which we’re reprinting after the jump, because, well, it’s proof old people do know how to operate a keyboard!
After the jump, a quick look at Over The Hills. CONTINUED »
MTV’s investment in the incomprehensibly popular reality show, The Hills continues to pay off: “With an average of 4.7 million viewers, the premiere was the most watched program across all of TV for viewers aged 12 to 34 and the highest rated cable telecast of 2008. An additional 1.8 million streams of the show were delivered on Tuesday by MTV.com.”
Some people say the gays are killing America, but these staggering numbers indicate something far more sinister.
The New York Times‘ review of The Hills was updated today with this printed correction: “A television review on Monday about The Hills, on MTV, gave an incorrect identification in some editions for the character who has Whitney as a close friend and colleague. She is Lauren, not Heidi.” Two surprises: The article wasn’t written by Alessandra Stanley, and the correction did not apply to the part where Heidi was called a “feminist hero.”
Merchandising expert Lauren Conrad wasn’t happy with the cover Us Weekly gave her this week. She agreed to give Janice Min’s tabloid an exclusive interview (whatever that means with press-hungry reality tarts), and they had the audacity to write a cover line that made her look all woe is me instead of girl power. CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY WOULD DO THAT TO HER?!?!
So she took to, where else, her MySpace blog to set the record straight: “Hey! I just wanted to take a moment to clear something up. I recently did an interview to talk about the show coming back on and what everyone had to look forward to. Unfortunately it was turned into yet another ‘poor me’ story. The article itself is a nice one but it follows headlines that, in no way, represent my words or feelings. I do not feel betrayed by Audrina or Brody. I love them both and said nothing to contradict this. I understand that headlines sell magazines, but I value my friendships above magazine sales any day. On a more positive note, I got to see some of the first episode yesterday and it looks amazing. I’m sooooooo excited for everyone to see Paris. Best wishes and I hope everyone tunes in Monday.”
Unless you’re friends with Lauren, perhaps you weren’t alerted to the post the way you usually are — by MySpace’s PR team, which issues releases whenever one of its celebrity clientele does something meaningful like string words together. So how come tabloid TV producers and their kin weren’t notified?
We’re just riffing here, but a one Shelly Reinstein happens to work at MySpace PR. She used to work at Us Weekly. And her sister, Mara Reinstein? She still does.
After the jump, a photo of Lauren’s dog Chloe, just ’cause. CONTINUED »
As Dolly Parton says, “It takes a lot of money to look this cheap.” For Lauren Conrad, it takes a lot of handlers, merchandising experts, and red carpet appearances. The reality starlet has big plans for herself, taking the path of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen in turning her TV fame into retail dollars. At least she’s not kidding herself: Most of her dollars come from endorsement deals, with guarantee an upfront fee and a cut of sales from whatever she’s pushing.
She’s on board with a toy company, a leather-goods maker and a cosmetics line. But her true passion is fashion, and it’s in that world she hopes to make a name for herself. Which is why Conrad, who you’d think will accept any cheque made out to her name, actually refused one retailer’s overtures to slap her name on a clothing line — because she wouldn’t have any creative input!
Those two months in Paris and interning for a TV version Teen Vogue will NOT be wasted, even if she can’t spell “beret.”
Like every other gossip outlet, Page Six today leads with a double sex scandal whammy: Naked photos of both Kristin Davis and The Hills star Audrina Partridge should be a warning to “young women […] about not letting nude photographs of themselves leave their hands. Notes P6 (emphasis ours): “There’s absolutely no doubt that the photos of Partridge - the faithful perky sidekick of Lauren Conrad on “The Hills” - are 100 percent real. Partridge posed for the pin-ups in 1994, after graduating from high school in the hope she could score some space in Playboy.”
Except, given Partridge was born in 1985, that would make those pin-up shots of her child porn. And even Joe Francis, who has no problem with Ashley Dupre being under 18, might have a problem with that. (In fact, the photos were taken around 2004, when she was 18, just out of high school, and hoping to land in Playboy.)
• A letter to the editor of the New Yorker is a little self-serious, even for the New Yorker. Turns out that nice image above is scientifically impossible. Also, that cat would totally get trampled.
• Lesbian hands look like straight women’s hands, only a little more wrinkly.
• Even with all the real-life spoilers, the extended season of The Hills looks really good.
• Shocker: The Gene Simmons sex tape is gross. That said, his lady friend is quite flexible.
• No American should idolize Paula Abdul after her new video. See what we did?
• Pink keeps up the pretense that divorce isn’t heart-wrenching. You know, she’s doing it for the kids. What a role model.
Our daily attempt to help you seem smart, even if you’re not.
collegium \kuh-LEG-ee-um\ noun
: a group in which each member has approximately equal power and authority
Heidi and Spencer never felt like they were in a collegium with Lauren because as the narrator, she has more power over the show.
[Photos]
Let’s start at the beginning. Sunday morning starts with a trip to the bodega for a banana and the Sunday Times.
And where do we begin with that five pound paper? One hint: we have two X chromosomes and we live in New York.
The Vows section, obviously. And after that, it’s Modern Love, which alternatively leaves us misanthropic or self-hating, depending on whether we can relate to the column. Feel free to judge. We already have.
As the most emailed list proves, the column is insanely popular. Since 2004, the space has led to nine book deals.
That may seem ridiculous to those who start the Sunday paper with the Week In Review. But really, Modern Love is like The Hills for smart people. An intelligent person articulating what’s wrong with his or her love life: What could be better, other than attractive person doing the same with wide shots over Hollywood? CONTINUED »
• Puff Daddy is literally begging for you to participate in democracy. If that and Facebook status updates don’t do it for you, the terrorists will win if you don’t vote.
• If your idea of a good time is to get stoned and watch the 10 funniest anti-drug commercials in advertising history, you might have a problem. Also, you’re in luck because Best Week Ever did all the work for you. CONTINUED »
• We’ve been listening to the Hot Chip song, “Ready For The Floor” on all day repeat. The video is pretty cool, too.
• In the reality TV equivalent of George Clooney rejoining the cast of ER, which never happened, Lo is going to be a featured player on The Hills next season, not just “Lauren’s Friend.” You mean LC’s BFF from Laguna Beach? Yes, we’re familiar with Lo.
• Our gay li’l brother Queerty got a redesign today. The gays always age better than the straights. Also, a lesbian endorses Hillary Clinton. Too bad no one cares about that minority this election cycle. CONTINUED »
Editorial Director
