If anyone was going to ruin Michelle Obama’s appearance on The View last night, it was going to be Elisabeth Hasselbeck, right? After all, isn’t it Hasselbeck who so has it in the bag for John McCain that she’d only welcome Michelle at an arm’s length?
Wrong. America’s Most Smartest Television Host Sherri Shepherd, instead, gets the award for running a smooth sailing aground. CONTINUED »
Including the Us Weekly cover, the New York Times article, and, of course, today’s hosting of The View. Not part of the makeover: Ending the fist bump.
On June 18, Michelle Obama will guest host The View, joining the ladies who laugh for an hour of gabbing. She was originally scheduled to merely appear as a guest on the show, but after John McCain’s wife Cindy got the chance to guest host, Michelle wanted her turn, too. So exec producer Bill Geddie signed her right up. As co-host, Michelle will have a chance to interview guests and participate in the show’s opening “hot topics” segment, where Elisabeth Hasselbeck gets a chance to talk about being a mother for the umpteenth time and Sherri Shepherd gets a chance to show how poor an example she sets for other women, blacks, and humans. Though no guests have been booked for Michelle’s appearance, might we suggest Wanda Sykes, if only so she can explain how to get Barack some pretty hair.
We’ve tried our damndest to remove The View from our cultrual radar. Enough with Sherri Shepherd reminding America she’s functionally retarded. Or Elisabeth Hasselbeck reminding America that she had a baby and loves George Bush. Or Whoopi Goldberg reminding everybody that she can barely stand to be there.
But then producers whipped up this genius segment: In discussing the possibility of booking Dina and Ali Lohan, who want to promote their Living Lohan show, the decision was made that they’d be allowed on the show … only if they were willing to discuss Lindsay. CONTINUED »
Elisabeth Hasselbeck has been interrupting every conversation on The View that’s remotely related to childbirth, child rearing, and milk to talk about her own pregnancy.
Now, she’s continuing the marathon in the pages of Fitness, but not before she slims down and poses in a bikini for the cover.
Except given that a monthly like Fitness needs to ship two to three months ahead of time, and given that Hasselbeck gave birth six months ago, that either means these photos were snapped : 1) three months ago, which is a J-Lo amount of time to slim down, but still doable; 2) before she got pregnant, misleading readers about the whole possibility of slimming down post-pregnancy; or 3) three months ago, and went through a heavy dose of Photoshopping.
More shots after the jump. CONTINUED »
As part of promoting her book Audition, Barbara Walters, whose wrinkles you may count to find the age of the the TV biz, is throwing everyone under the bus. First it was ex-beau Sen. Edward Brooke, and now Star Jones, who tried reinventing herself as a skinny Court TV host and, well, found little success.
In her memoir, Walters claims Jones forced Walters and the crew to lie on the show about her gastric bypass surgery, which she’s only recently come clean about. So how does bitter Star Jones, who’s saying goodbye to maybe-gay husband Al Reynolds, feel about Barbara’s treatment? CONTINUED »
Since he didn’t need any extra sleep after the 48 Hours anniversary party, a rested Dan Rather took to The View this morning, where Barbara Walters prompted him about his $70 million lawsuit.
Ready to dish, Dan carried on his conspiracy theory about the government’s role in big media, and just how much the public doesn’t know. How many more times will he have to repeat it before we start believing?
Tolerated crazy person and Fox News host Geraldo Rivera did his corporate duty on The View today, bashing Lou Dobbs, whose own brand of crazy pours out from CNN on weeknights. And let us note: The View is becoming the TV version of the Huffington Post — a place where famous and opinionated folk get to lash out at people who piss ‘em off.
• Improv Everywhere takes on Starbucks with a desk top computer rocking Windows 95.
• Brad Renfro got snubbed at the “In Memoriam” montage because he wasn’t famous enough for three seconds of screen time of a four hour program.
• Hey, there just might be something to this whole blogging trend. CONTINUED »
Sherri Shepherd says she’s always naked in front of her two year-old son. Her other thoughts on nudity and child development are as inane as you’d expect.
That kid doesn’t stand a chance.
The Easiest Job In The World Watching The View and waiting for Sherri Shepard to say something stupid and/or offensive to white people, black people, Christians, Jews, scientists and/or historians. Today it’s about how she would beat her child if she weren’t at a “rich white folks’ store.” Don’t let the man keep you down, Sherri! Casting department of the View: You’re doing A+ work. [HuffPo]
Estrogen-happy chatfest The View, where a handful of decently-high-profile women get paid large sums of money to annoy each other, scored 851,000 viewers in the 18-49 women demo. Meanwhile, over at The Young & The Restless, where a hoard of mostly low-profile women to get large sums of money to annoy – then marry, divorce, get pregnant by their sister’s husband, and then threaten to kill their mothers – each other, scored 1.19 million viewers in that demo. [TVBTN]
Another day, an other Sherri Shepherd quote. After learning that the world is round (shocking, but true!), Shepard plays historian, and announces, “I don’t think anything predated Christians.” No Sherri, not even evolution predated Jesus. [Queerty]
Yesterday we mentioned how both Details and GQ could look forward to an unexpected bout of press from their cover stars — with Jonathan Rhys Meyers getting arrested at a Dublin airport and Kanye West’s mother dying.
Both tragedies. Both good for Dan Peres and Jim Nelson’s newsstand.
And then even more, ahem, “good fortune” struck Peres’ mag: Rhys Meyers’ mother died on Tuesday in England, it was just announced. Then, just three hours after his mama was pronounced dead, the paparazzi spotted him drinking in public at 10am (Brit time!). To be fair, he also bought a newspaper, so at least he has some priorities intact.
Meanwhile: Rhys Meyers was on The View this morning, discussing his new movie August Rush. And no mention of his mama. But he did mention tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Ah, the perils of pre-taped episodes. (Update: A View spokesman writes us to say the episode was taped Nov. 12.)
Bill O’Reilly goes on The View to promote his new children’s book, “Kids Are American, Too.” (Rejected titles included “Gays Are American, Too” and “Hey! Did You Know Black People Ran Their Own Businesses?”) And all joking aside, we think Bill made the right call stopping by the morning gabfest.
Afer all, we can’t think of a better place to corrupt the minds of innocent minors (and slow-thinking adults) than a daytime talk show featuring a menopausal shrew, an actress/comedienne who wants a threesome with Nancy Pelosi and her husband and a woman who’s still convinced the Earth is flat. [Queerty]
On The View yesterday, new addition Sherri Shepherd (best known for such memorable performances as “Not Knowing Whether Or Not The World Is Flat” and “Showing Us Her O-Face“) ventured into a discussion about in-vitro fertilization.
The unexpected result?
Finding out that Shepherd refers to all her frozen embryos as “my little boys” and that she’ll never, ever donate them to science (Science to Sherri: “Much obliged!”) because “they will stay in that freezer until Jesus comes.”
Merry Miller does something almost (but not quite!) as humiliating than butchering her first-ever live interview with Holly Hunter. She dropped by The View (Yes, totally embarrassing, but that’s not the most shameful part) gabbed with the ladies about her television debut, and slid in, ever so casually, that she used to date the founding purveyor of scripted reality television.
[Merry] Miller said yesterday she has a lot in common with Hasselbeck. “She was on ‘Survivor,’” Miller said, “and I went out with Mark Burnett.”
OMG, total twinsies! Meanwhile, Mark Burnett? Ew! Though you’d have thought dating him would have given Miller a couple venereal diseases useful insights on how to play to the cameras and adhere to a script while still acting completely natural. Apparently, however, you’d have been very, very, hilariously wrong. [via SoupCans]
• Jessica Simpson to co-host The View in November, presumably to take Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s spot as “the dumb blond one” while Lizzy pops out a tiny, uber-conservative baby.
• A mysterious woman who makes giant cow-sculptures out of butter just might catapult Barack Obama to victory in the Iowa primaries.
• TMZ gets called out for resorting to Ebonics, refusing to “keep it real.”
• Dan Abrams tackles the Dumbledore (a.k.a. “OMG, a fictional character is gay!” story with the requisite amount of tact and decorum.
• After that whole embarrassing “Hurricane Katrina” debacle, President Bush isn’t taking any chances. He’s already officially pronounced those scary California wildfires to be a “major disaster.” Presumably, the over 1 million people who’ve already been displaced from their homes would agree.
• Apparently, we’re the only ones who think bedsharing is old news. The Times article about parents who sleep in the same room as their well-adjusted eight year-olds is currently #2 on the “Most Emailed” list.
Months after stepping down as the bombastic moderator of The View, Rosie O’Donnell finally admits her real reason for her abrupt exit: Barbara Walters had her canned. The ugly truth came out during Roseanne Barr’s late night set at Comix (where, incidentally, the laughter was also canned) where O’Donnell also shared a few of Barbara’s more intimate nighttime rituals.
Rosie started off by saying, “When I was fired by Barbara Walters” - the first time she didn’t stick to “The View’s” spin that her departure from the show was by mutual agreement.
Rosie claimed onstage that Walters and other “View” couchmates wear earpieces through which producers tell them what to say, which she refused to do.
Rosie also confided that she and the veteran newswoman were actually so close early on in her tenure as moderator that Walters recommended Rosie use Astroglide, which, she added, took her by surprise.
And while we’re not particularly shocked by O’Donnell’s admission that Walters showed her the door, we are slightly traumatized by the fact that we’re now privy to Barb’s preferred brand of lubrication. In fact, it’s pretty much the second grossest View related news we’ve heard all week, right behind the revelation that Whoopi Goldberg’s always fantasized about a Nancy (and Paul) Pelosi “sandwich.”
On The View today, Barbara Walters gives America one more reason to boycott country music by awkwardly telling Faith Hill, “We’d all like to ‘do’ your husband.” [HuffPo]
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