Let's face it: The only time you've ever heard the word "flux" used in a sentence was either a) to describe the economy or b) next to the word "capacitor" in Back to the Future. Which is why you'll have no idea why MTV just spent all of its TRL rent fund buying out Social Project. Social Project is the group which MTV previously partnered with to create Flux, a social media network. You know guys, a social media network like Facebook, or MySpace, or… another one of those:

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Just when you thought MTV couldn't become more of a soulless corporation without transforming into subplot fodder for a John Grisham novel, the former hipness barometer outdid itself in one week by:

1) Canceling TRL, and with it the last shred of reasoning behind calling the Viacom subsidiary a music station.

2) Signing a contract that would allow them to stay at their Times Square location (that really only made sense to inhabit when TRL was on the air) with a $35-per-square-foot rent increase.

3) Destroying the rainforest for the sake of the Real World/Road Rules Challenge show that no one knew was still on the air:

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In New York, if the criminals aren't kicking your ass and taking your wallet, the businessmen are, and they're doing it while staying well within their legal rights. That's why New Yorkers looking for real estate have learned to eat shit and like it.

Not even very rich and powerful Manhattan-based companies are above getting jacked. Take, for instance, Viacom, which is said to be renewing its lease at 1515 Broadway when it expires in 2010, even though they won't even be broadcasting TRL, which is what made the space so preferable to begin with. Says Greg Hughes, CFO for New York City's largest commercial landlord SL Green, Viacom will probably continue to rent most or all of the 1.5 million square feet they do at the horrendous Times Square location for the new price of $85 per square foot, up from the $50 per square foot it's currently paying.

Too lazy to do the math? We gotcha covered: Starting in 2010, Viacom will be spending about $128 million per year to rent space in one of the ugliest buildings on one of the ugliest streets in the world.

We are no longer shocked at how crappy MTV has become.

Though it's not offering much in the way of higher salaries these days, media giant Viacom is offering New York staffers one perk: a revamped dining room/cafeteria space/whatever-the-classy-word-is-for-mess hall at their headquarters on Broadway. Now the space is 12,000 sq. ft and includes such bonuses as a "8-ft. by 8-ft. projection screen broadcasting MTVN Networks channels 24 hours a day" as well as a bocca ball light fixture(?). No word yet on the food stuffs, but that's not what the place is really for.

NEway, Viacom's revamp comes not a moment too soon, as it was desperately losing the unnecessarily elaborate Eating Space Awards, which we just made up.

But how does Viacom's new foodie digs compare to other media companies' digestive offerings? Let's check in on the free Skittles:

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Comcast is buying shopping newsletter DailyCandy for $125 million, which is either a sign that old media is finally "getting it," or that old media can still be convinced to buy things at inflated prices. But in case you needed another signal that old media actually does not get it, look no further than VH1's new blog Scandalist, which launched this week. Not only did its namers take a cue from Web 1.0 (see: Gothamist), but the nature of the site — celebrities, involved in scandals, oooh! — represents a three-years-too-late attempt to join the fray of celeb blog gossip with an insta-tired brand and exactly nothing new to bring to the table, except some traffic dumping from VH1's homepage (which is how AOL drives traffic to any of its dozens of un-read weblogs). Also: It's a lesson VH1 should've already learned.

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Eighty-five-year-old Sumner Redstone, who's spent much of his career steering Viacom, and then CBS, into a media conglomerate sporting some of the most valuable properties in the industry, has no intention of making his legacy a family affair. He will not select daughter Shari to succeed him when his last day leading the companies arrives. But also, Redstone is crazy: "I’m not worried about [naming a successor] ’cause it’s going to be another 20, 30 years." And: Shari's camp says this is all nonsense. [NYT]

Sumner Redstone, who continues to play grandpa to both CBS and Viacom even after the companies went their separate ways, has a few remarks for one of his offspring. Actually, just one remark: You fucked up.

Okay. "Made a mistake" was what Redstone actually said about Les Moonves, the smiling operator behind CBS, who bought the rights to broadcast an event from Elite XC, the mixed martial arts sport that promises to be violent. That bloodsport is normally shielded from broadcast and aired only on cable, but Moonves is after cheap ratings for the tiffany network. — though that doesn't mean Redstone, who has as much at stake in seeing CBS succeed, is happy about it.

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The media has oversimplified the decision by Paramount to stop selling its shows to Showtime! You see, Paramount is Viacom's movie studio, while Showtime is CBS's premium channel, and the two were getting along so well ever since Viacom and CBS went their separate ways, but now Paramount is teaming with MGM and Lionsgate to create a new premium channel.

Les Moonves, who heads CBS, played nice in press reports with Viacom chief Philippe Dauman. Moonves' deputy, Showtime chief Matthew Blank, told the Times, "We wish them well." Dauman not-so-blandly opined, "It’s our responsibility at Viacom to drive our strategy to benefit our shareholders."

But now one newspaper is fueling rumors all this backroom dealing is a move to try to oust Moonves! CAN YOU BELIEVE?

Corporate daddy Sumner Redstone, who chairs both Viacom and CBS, is said to be unhappy with CBS's crappy stock performance. Or at least those are the rumors Dauman's been able to plant, as he eyes the throne of octogenarian Redstone, who, despite his misgivings, must leave this earth, and his companies, at some point.

Viacom sued Google for $1 billion over copyright infringement charges, claiming all those Daily Show clips were posted illegally. So sad news for Viacom chief Philippe Dauman: A judge ruled he's entitled to exactly zero dollars punitive damages. The only award he can receive are for the actual costs of infringement. Meanwhile, wasn't Viacom one of those big media companies arguing they weren't making any cash from their online content? The full ruling follows.

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In exchange for creating the best time suck for pot smoking university students, Alex Rigopulos and Eran Egozy are set to receive a $200 million-plus payday. The duo, who created the video game Rock Band at their company Harmonix, sold their equity to Viacom in October 2006 and pocketed $175 million, in cash, during the sale. Now, with game sale revenues expected to hit $600 million, Viacom is preparing to dole out another nine-figure sum to its creators. [NYP]

Tony Bennett wasn't the only one singing a toast to Sumner Redstone at a tribute to him last week. Face The Nation anchor and country crooner Bob Schieffer, who's leaving CBS News, also gave the Viacom honcho a tune:

"You are the guru, and who would know but you what a little change in Viacom’s name would do. Have an éclair, Mr. Redstone, buy some networks, make a movie, play a tune. Take a break now, Mr. Redstone, ’cause another deal will come along real soon."

But a call to arms wasn't the only idea on Bob's mind; the ousted Tom Cruise also got a shout out.

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NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR CAUSE In the eight weeks since the writers strike began, we, the viewers, have been hurt with repeats and reality TV, but networks haven’t been squeezed. Viacom and Sony stocks are up a bit; News Corp, CBS, Time Warner and Walt Disney are flat, and GE is only down two points. [Variety]

Permalancers are people too, people who need health benefits, 401(k)s and paid vacation days. To remind the bigwigs at Viacom about these issues, the “freelancers” staged a walk out yesterday.

Viacom managers were “supportive of the strike;” a freelancer told Mixed Media, "The word of the day is, 'Do what you gotta do.'"

These managers are so trying to be the cool father who can still rap with their teenagers’ friends. How about instead of rapping, you help get these kids some benefits?

MTV's pissed off freelancers show they're much more creative than any of those striking writers: They've flipped the "M" in "MTV" to turn it into a "W," and changed the "TV" into "TF," creating "WTF." And then they put it on stickers! [Gawker]

Not content with rotting the brains of Americans and Europeans, MTV has gone after the Arab market: MTV Arabia premiered this weekend. The channel will have 60 percent international music and 40 percent Arabic music.

A note to the casting directors of the Real World Baghdad: It might be too soon to see what happens when Sunnis and Shiites stop being polite and start getting real.