…Radar's preemptive efforts at ensuring that Scrubs star Zach "I've made a career out of being awkward" Braff doesn't suffer the same fate of Dirty Dancing star turned nonworking actress, Jennifer Grey. [Mollygood]
The Shins really did change Natalie Portman’s life.
Not too long ago, she was starting in a billion dollar movie franchise. Now she’s guest editing the upcoming issue Scholastic Math to promote her new movie, Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. One look at the trailer, you’ll be happy you don’t have kids.
Frankly, guest editing Scholastic Math is a fair punishment for starring in the Garden State. If there were any justice in this world, Zach Braff would have to deal with the Portfolio mess for the last scene of that movie.
• Lindsay's 21st bday was so boring, she had to take all the exploitative photographs herself.
• Meanwhile, Salman Rushdie's rep attributes his client's impending divorce to 'too many chefs' in Padma Lakshmi's kitchen.
• Robert F. Kennedy 3rd gets freaky with a "heavyset girl" from Missy Elliott's entourage.
• Tracey Edmonds ditches Eddie Murphy after occasionally hearing or reading things that "made her wonder." Presumably, Edmonds is referring to rumors that Murphy fathered a child with Scary Spice then totally denied it. Either that or she finally watched Norbit.
• Mandy Moore cockblocks her ex-boyfriend, Zach Braff, by writing a mean song about him on her next album. Take that, J.D.!
• Meanwhile, witnesses report Braff was "touch-feely" with his date at Shakespeare in the park, describing his plus one as "very cute in jeans in a black camisole." And the Scrubs star? "He looked schlumpy," and, presumably, awkward and effeminate.
• In addition to being a shitty driver, Paris Hilton is also a highly irresponsible pet owner. "We're shocked," admits PETA, who then pauses and adds, "Um, that was sarcasm?"
• Britney Spears is a temper tantrum-throwing control freak, insiders close to the pop tart claim. Says one earwitness, "She got very upset and stormed out of the shoot and wouldn't come back. She is not listening to anyone and doing exactly what she wants. But sometimes she doesn't know best." Ah, truer words have never been spoken.
• Michael Moore to throw his (ample) weight behind an Al Gore presidential campaign.
• It took Ashlee Simpson 8 hours at the hair salon and six rhinoplasties to look this good. And you thought you were high maintenance!
Did you hear? Matthew McConaughey was just named as People magazine's bachelor of the year—presumably because he's ambiguously gay chronically single, and has a well-documented habit of running shirtless on the beach.
And while we have no problem with paparazzi capturing every blissful moment of McConaughey's early-morning calisthenics (his six-pack abs more than make up for that "dirty, hippy hair") we can't say we feel the same way about a few of this year's other runner-ups.
Ever wondered what it would be like to get hit on by Zach Braff? Why not find out for yourself!
Simply hop onto the 6 train, get off at Astor Place and head to the nearest NYU dive bar. Once there, it's practically a given that the notoriously awkward pick-up artist will attempt to "woo" you, assuming you have a working pair of mammary glands.
So order yourself a cheap, watered down cocktail, park your ass at the bar and wait for the socially inept pick-up artist to strike with the cultivated full-body grope, or such winning lines as, "You have nice breasts."
Because, as Radar reports, that whole sensitive-guy image Braff cultivated is pretty much a load of crap.
• Rob Shuter just won't quit. And as long as he's working the spin, he won't get fired either. [Radar]
• So, it turns out that Anna Nicole Smith's son died of "unnatural" causes. We suggest everyone flush their TrimSpa immediately. [TMZ]
• Zach Braff uses slow celeb gossip days to promote his new movie. Which looks like the only thing is should be kissing is Garden State's ass. [AP]
• Yep, Dakota Fanning is still terrifying. [Mollygood]
• It's always after your dead that everyone pulls out the euphemisms. Like "empire." [NYT]
• Sophia Bush is trying to annul her marriage to Chad Michael Murray, citing "fraud". So is that what they're calling sleeping with Paris Hilton these days? [MSNBC]
• Adding insult to injury, Nick Lachey's not-Jessica rebound "girlfriend" former "Miss Kentucky" Lizzie Arnold never actually won the crown. Please keep in mind that this guy is not a loser. [A Socialite's Life]
• We are thankful for the story of “Jane,†without which we would have never known how far pert nipples really might get us in life. [Salon]
• Angelina Jolie found Brad Pitt's little black book. He then had to go through page by page explaining to Maddox who all his former "friends" were. [IDon'tLikeYouInThatWay]
• A photo tour of Anna Wintour's Hamptons pad? It almost makes us willing to read Vogue's FOB. [Gawker]
• Zach Braff, too precious for words, is directing his next movie. Garden State 2, er, we mean Open Hearts is coming soon to a theater near you. [Hollywood Reporter]
• "Bob Woodruff's Cameraman" otherwise known as Doug Vogt, heads on home. [Reuters]
• The Vanity Fair Oscar party is like a big prom for Hollywood, but more expensive and much more annoying. Oh, thank God we live in New York. [Biz Bash]
• Zach Braff and Mandy Moore continue to deny wedding rumors. We guess they're wedding registry is one of those "just for fun" kind of things. [The Superficial]
• Discrimination on Craigslist goes beyond race to the much more important issue of not being busted. [Curbed]
• Mischa Barton tries to steal our boyfriend. (Don't do it Jake — she doesn't wear tampons!) [I don't like you in that way]
Editorial Director
