Hungry for KFC in the West Village? Not if CBS has anything to say about it.

Earlier this morning, they blew the lid off of fast food industry's dark underbelly, placing hidden video-camera tapes purporting to show what really goes on after hours at your favorite fried chicken hotspot.

And while the cameras failed to capture the late-night janitor-on-janitor lovemaking session, they did reveal a whole lot of rats. Big rats. Fat rats.

Fortunately, we managed to catch all this breaking news programming first-hand, as CBS' West Village RatGate coverage followed immediately after our daily dosage of The Price Is Right. And, naturally, the best part of the piece came in the form of its on-the-scene interviews:

"I've seen a lot of disgusting rats eating in the KFC that I love to eat at, you know? And it's disgusting."
–Tameeka St. Jean, customer.

"I'd like to interview the employees and see if they're aware of the situation."
–Susan Quimbyn, neighbor

And this riveting chat with former employee Marcus Bonner, who either quit due to "what he called, 'filthy conditions,'" or because he'd taken one too many hits off of "socialite" Arden Wohl's crackpipe:

"I quit because it was nasty. They don't use gloves to make the food, they use the same grease day after day, after days. At night time, my night manager, all he did was tell me to pick the chairs up. We don't sweep, we don't mop. So that's what the rats are eating on. They eating on stuff that was left on the floor."

Fortunately, all this intrepid reporting prompted this statement from KFC/Taco Bell, (both owned by Riese Restaurants):

This is completely unacceptable and is an absolute violation of our high standards. This restaurant has been closed and we are addressing the issue with the franchise owner.

Isn't it funny how a corporation recently responsible for that whole ugly e coli outbreak is suddenly talking about high standards?

Anywho, we've pretty much avoided KFC and McDonald's ever since that groundbreaking work, "Fast Food Nation," blew our minds by teaching us that even deep-fried goodness has a dark side.

But if CBS is hankering for their next project, we saw about seven enormous rats while waiting for the L train yesterday. How's about we try and do something about that, news team?