Having had some time to reflect on what he's done, money siphoner Conrad Black is still fully convinced that he was well within his right to screw Hollinger International shareholders by pilfering over $7 million of company funds to spend entirely on himself. Why? Because, in the self-righteous words of Black himself, "'I will not re-enact the French Revolutionary renunciation of the rights of the nobility."

Hear, hear!

Unfortunately, the concept of a "Robin Hood who steals from the rich and gives to the richer," failed to resonate with juries, and they convicted the pompous felon (now facing 20-30 years in federal prison) of myriad fraud charges. Natch, Black and his legal beagles have argued that it would be a miscarriage of justice to let the conviction stand, both because Black is innocent of any wrongdoing and slightly discomfited by the prospect of life in the pokey.

He doesn't want to be learning new skills in a machine shop and wearing a prison uniform at his age," [Black's biographer] Tombs said. "And he may have a cellmate who will tell him, do this, don't do that or even to shut up."

And, really, that's what we love about Black. After all, who but a disgraced member of the titled English aristocracy would dread prison most because of the unflattering jumpsuit, necessity to perform menial tasks for nominal fees and possibility of curt/impolite cellmates?

Chin up, Lord Black. Who knows maybe the sentencing judge will be lenient. And if not, relax. Assuming the Oz marathon on HBO is any indication of what you can expect in prison, we can pretty much guarantee that "learning new skills in a machine shop" will be the least of your concerns.