Setting: Interior Boardroom - night. Two studio executives brainstorm for My Damn Channel.

Businessman 1: You know who was non-threatening to white people but still relatable to black people?

Businessman 2: Will Smith? Can we get Will Smith for My Damn Channel!?

Businessman 1: Dude, bro. We can’t even get Jaden Smith for My Damn Channel. The Smiths aren’t doing internet. I’m talking about Coolio.

Businessman 2: “The Fantastic Voyage” guy? I vaguely remember liking that song before it became insufferably.

Businessman 1: Exactly. After 15 years, most people will just remember liking the song, not the insufferable part.

Businessman 2: Let’s give him a cooking show.

Businessman 1: Exactly what I was thinking. Let’s have cook “ethnic” stuff, like fall-off-the-bone chicken.

Businessman 2: But we’ll have to remind people about Coolio’s inherent sex appeal by subtly degrading women.

Businessman 1: Ok, what about using assistants that Coolio can objectify on air?

Businessman 2: All right, but instead of calling them “sous” chefs, we’ll spell it “soux” chefs. Because the X will give it a more, you know, urban feel.

Businessman 1: Love it. Just love it.

Coolio Is Nothing If Not Enterprising [Stereohyped]