First off, you all know that David Blaine did not hold his breath for nine minutes. He did not hold his breath for 8 minutes 58 seconds, either. He does, however have a doctor named "Dr. Krack" and somehow convinced the world that living in a bowl of water — fully able to breathe mind you — leads one to be able to hold his breath.

He was warned that he might die, have a stroke, or suffer nerve damage … but he paid no mind. Blaine attempted the Houdini like stunt from his aquarium, and came up gasping for breath.

Krack, who is also a free-diving expert, said Blaine was disappointed he didn't set a new record. The stuntman was suffering from extreme fatigue, but did not appear to have sustained any brain damage, Krack said.

Honestly the guy who we heard yell, "he's at 5 minutes and 43 seconds … he's such a douche," pretty much summed it up, but the douche did make it a few minutes longer. He finally quit his suicide attempt after 7 minutes 8 seconds. And he doesn't have any more brain damage than he had yesterday.

Blaine Fails to Break Underwater Record in New York [Reuters via New York Times]