In case you were watching Primetime's "Outsiders" series about people who love animals and then get attacked by them, and you missed the Miss Teen USA pageant (how could you?) here's what you're horndog middle aged co-workers are chatting about at the water cooler.

Miss Montana. There she is. Katie Blair. Not only did she beat out the other girls in the swimsuit and evening gown competition, but she knows how to form sentences as well. Are your socks totally knocked the fuck off, yet? No? Well, check out her prizes then.

Blair succeeds Miss Teen USA 2005, Allie LaForce of Ohio. Winnings include a scholarship to New York School of Film and Television, a year of living in Trump Tower, a wardrobe and a Mikimoto tiara.

If the girl can win a teen swimsuit competition, she should have saved herself a lot of practice and just gotten a job with Jeffrey Epstein. Then she would have gotten a private plane ride, two years in the tower, and a lifetime's supply of massage oil.

Katie Blair crowned Miss Teen USA 2006 [AP]