Anyone who names his newspaper-owned blog "The Bastard Machine" is an instant FOJ (that's Friend of Jossip, for you beginners), which makes the San Francisco Chronicle's Tim Goodman our new bestie. Also putting him at the top of the list for next Christmas' regifting extravaganza? The way he called Courteney Cox totally unhot — and then issued a retraction.

The story goes like this: Goodman reviews Cox's new FX series Dirt, calls it crap and goes on to say that making Cox's character Lucy Spiller into a sex symbol (on the show, she fucks and masturbates) isn't going to work because men don't want to think "Monica from Friends" in that way. Fast forward to Cox's appearance on The Jimmy Kimmel Show, where Cox looks hot in a shorty dress and Kimmel reads part of Goodman's interview aloud. Goodman watches the interview clip on YouTube, feels bad, issues apology on blog.

Though "Dirt" wasn't reviewed very favorably, Cox told Kimmel there were some reviews that made her feel good "and some that were sooooo brutal." Uh, that's when my snippet was read. Cox: "That's actually saying, 'You're not sexy.' How brutal is that?" She goes on to add, "I mean not one person in the whole world could imagine masturbating over me? I mean, not one?"

I was wrong, Courteney. And I apologize. But in my defense I'd like to note that what I wrote was actually meant to be, um, kind of sweet about you. I tried pointing this out to my wife, but she thought I blew it. (The next day I got a call from a friend at FX - he, too, thought I was insane.) Anyway, Mrs. Cranky Pants and I watched the clip, we agreed Cox was indeed hot, and as Cox explained her feelings of being slighted and possibly hurt to Kimmel, my wife got a very empathetic look on her lovely face, much as she does when a cute animal is hurt on a nature show. OK, it was too mean even if I didn't intend it to be that way.

We certainly agree with Goodman's revised conclusion: Cox is totally doable, as Courteney, as Lucy, and maybe-but-not-necessarily Monica. But quite honestly, we're more into watching Rick Fox engage in sexual acrobatics. His sex tape was easily the best part of the show. Then again, so were the rolling credits.

After the jump, find Cox's interview on Jimmy Kimmel. (Scan to the 8:50 mark for Goodman's interview quote.)